Honor others with Closure

@cdparazo (5769)
Philippines
April 9, 2007 8:20am CST
I have been asked many times and again last night why I am not entertaining any suitors yet. My answer is still the same, my marriage has not yet been annuled and I don't think that I have the right to enter into another relationship when that aspect of my life has no closure yet. However, that is not the only reason, I have to have the annulment because it would not be unfair to the person that I am going to be with. Another closure that I am talking about is really being honest with my in-laws that I have started the process of having my marriage annuled. They are still expecting that their son and I would still get back together. They have been very good to me and it would be very difficult for me to tell them but I really have to take courage and face them and tell them my plans. I want to honor them with the truth and closure.
2 people like this
4 responses
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
You are right Cd. I really relate on how you feel, because I have the same situation. Even for me, sometimes I find it annoying those kind of questions or teasing. I hope they would respect my decision and present state of mind. And like you, I would like that chapter of my life closed and sealed before I start a new one. To be able to savor a new beginning without worrying about the past. To start as new. And you have a point in making your intentions clear to your in laws. I salute you for that, because it takes a lot of courage to do it. I'll pray for the succes of your endeavor and to the new start of your life. More blessings for you my friend! (^^,)
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Thank you very much. It is really good to know that I am not the only one who thinks so in this kind of situation. One relative of mine even called her daughter who is in Europe and asked her to find a guy for me without me asking for it. As much as I appreciate the effort and all the concern, I just want to find closure in everything and really start anew. Thank you very much for responding!
• Philippines
16 Apr 07
I trully understand how you feel. My friends sometimes give my number to any guy they know. I don't know they are so pushy sometimes. And you can't enjoy a relationship like that. Unwanted and sudden. I think you are doing very very well. And love will come in the right time when you are ready. Right? And thank you for the best response mark Cd. I'm happy you appreciated my response. Keep up the good work! more blessings! (^^,)
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
You are very much welcome and thank you too giving such a very good response. I appreciate too that you understand what I am going through. God bless!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
It is really challenging for a mother like you to have your marriage annuled. With your daughter in consideration, I know that it will be very hard for you. But things should come to an end. Maybe the relationship you have with your husband has no hope of survival. That is life. Sometimes, not all things go right. We need to experience the hardship for us to be stronger in life. the respect should alwys be present to other people, may it be your in-laws or not. I admire the attitude of yours towards other people. Only few has that thinking and I'm glad you're one of them. I know that in time, you can tell it to them because that will only set you free. It is not easy to do but I know you can do it. They will understand it for sure, as long as you'll state your point accurately. Just be strong for your daughter. Annulment is not an easy process for it will take you to a more challenging phase of your life. Good luck and God bless.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
There is actually a way of keeping my marriage intact... that is if I'll be okey that my husband won't respect me, is selfish and irresponsible and have no consideration whatsoever with his family. In short, if I'll be okey are a robot or a dormat. But I can't accept that and it's all or nothing of me. I respect my in-laws very much and they are very good people. How I wish that our marriage isn't such a disappointment to them but I have to really choose somehow and keep my self respect. Thank you very much for responding!
@hartnsoul (558)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
I admire your consideration for others. I am just wondering, why you are having an annulment? You look so young. Marriages do get rough. Its like a house, when a lightbulb gets broken you don't go out buying a new house but rather replacing just the lightbulb, right? But I do agree with you that before opening another chapter in your life, closure has to come first. Be at peace with yourself and learn to love yourself more. You will not be able to share your love and yourself to anyone else if there are still pieces of you that are missing... Good luck... Msg me if you need a friend... :)
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Thanks for saying that I look young but I'm 30 something already.LOL. Being a filipino, it is not easy to come to a decision to annul one's marriage. It's a decision that I arrived at after YEARS of consideration, temperance, putting oneself last. However, it could just not go on and I have to accept and forgive myself for really deciding such undertaking. My family is very conservative and I'll be the first in a long line of strong marriages in our family who has a broken marriage and with an annulment to boot. Getting my decision accepted by those that I love is already difficult enough and must be well justified for them to start accepting. Thanks very much for responding!
1 person likes this
@MarkyB21 (1545)
9 Apr 07
I think it is very good of you to want to show your respect to your in-laws like that. Although it may be hard for you to tell them, I think it is important for you to do so. I agree that it is only fair for you to wait until your marriage has been annuled before you begin another relationship - up until that point you are still married and I don't think that's a good way to start a new relationship.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
It is really difficult that until now, I haven't found the courage to tell them. I also don't feel like telling them over the phone since they live so far away. I would really have set aside a day soon to fly and tell them personally. Thank you very much for responding!