Would you inform the wife?

Philippines
April 9, 2007 11:13am CST
Here is the scenario: You know the wife, she is your friend. Though you are not that close, you still consider each other as friends that can tell each others' secrets. Her husband has an affair and you know it. Would you tell the wife of her husbands' affair? Or would you just keep silent? This is a dilemma that's bogging my mind for a few weeks now and I really want to tell the wife. The reason why I am not telling her is because I know that all hell will break loose and I don't think she can handle the situation emotionally. What do you think I should do?
2 people like this
7 responses
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
I wouldn't tell her but I would let the husband know that I know and he better fess up soon or I will. I really wouldn't tell as I don't believe it is my position, but I'd freak him out. I'd hang out with her away from the house so he would worry the whole time we are gone. I'd phone her and chat and become a good friend. She will need a good friend when her world collapses, and it will. I wouldn't be the one to tell but I sure would make the hubby sweat!
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I have done that and I know that the husband knows that i know that he's folling around. But still he doesn't stop. I feel it's unfair for his family that he is doing this to them. Thank you for all your responses.
@Michele21 (3095)
• United States
9 Apr 07
That is a tough one! If she really wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally then I don't think I would say anything. I wouldn't want her to break down or anythng, sometimes the best things is to not know the truth! But I don't think he should get away with disrespecting his wife either. Maybe hint around and ashe the wife what she would do or something...see what her answers are.
• Philippines
9 Apr 07
I'm not good at eating around the bush, as you may say it. And the wife who is my friend is so nice, she doesnt deserve to be treated this way.
@nkkyluv (83)
• Nigeria
18 Apr 07
I know of my friends' husbands who cheat on them but i have never told them before, for heavens sakes, what will u achieve in doing that since you know it will bring pain and bitterness and also what if they settle their differences, dont you think you will be the most unwelcomed guest in their house, please leave them alone, dont be a messenger of bad news, if the man is a chronic womaniser, the woman may have known and still kept quiet, so why go spill the bean?
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
If im in your situation, i just be silent and let them handle the situation. I mean it must not you that will tell the cheating thing, let him feel that his husband is cheating on her. Or talk to her and give her an example situation that "What if your husband is cheating on you?" or maybe she is the one that will give you an advice. Tell her that you had a friend and that you know that your friend's husband is cheating your friend, ask him what she will do if she's on your place.
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
18 Apr 07
Don't tell the wife!!! It is not your business,honey!!You can change her life ,and maybe for him is something which will pass away easy.. And,from my experience they can have a strong fight and after this they can fix that problem and the only one which they will hate is you! In my building someone did this,and she finish being hated from both...and they are pretty well even now... My advice,don't tell... augusta
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
12 Apr 07
My first thought when I read your statement was, what would you gain by telling her about her husband's infidelity? You say that you're not close however you still consider each other as friends who can share secrets. I'm confused, are you or are you not friends? I don't tell just anyone my secrets. If you're not that close I'd say just go about your business. If you're close you can gauge how this news would affect her. If as you say she is unstable, I'd keep it to myself. Is there someone who you know she trusts, like a pastor or a sister/brother who could tell her. Whatever happens I fear that this lady will be hurt. Our sins always finds us out.
@lightningMD (5937)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I wouldnt tell her out right if there is some way to let her know without her knowing it was you go for it...the messenger of bad news usually ends up being blamed...if the couple works things out your friendship is gone because the husband would definetly not want you around...if you dont think she can handle it emotionally then i'd let sleeping dogs lie and hope for the best...