My way of reaching out

United States
April 9, 2007 7:35pm CST
I am a very touchy feeling kind of person. I hug, I rub and I kiss a lot. I think a soft touch, and kind word and a smile can carry the day. My parents were not very affectionate, so I vowed I would be different. My sons were always getting kissed and hugged. My husband, while shy in public, is very affectionate in private. It is just "me" to be encouraging and loving. My sons have all moved out, husbands works, and I have no one to hug:( . I have a lot of time on my hands and spend a lot of it corresponding with a group of extremely wonderful people. I have only met a handful in person. But a lot of my On Line Friends have touched me in a deep, loving way. So I decided to send them more than my stories,I send them hugs. Real ones that can be wrapped around them on cold nights, bad days and at happy times. I send them crocheted blankets. I have just finished my sixth one. At first I did it for my sons and their new homes. I got so much pleasure out of sending my little box to them. I do one a week. When I started to crochet, I found it was helpful to my diet, I reached for water and not for chocolate. I get so enjoyment sitting in my "happy chair"*, thinking about who is getting this weeks blanket. The blanket has it's share of mistakes, but I leave them in. as a reminder that we all make mistakes. We take the mistakes and move on. Seldom do we make that mistake again. I have only one pattern. That will be my signature pattern. I have asked each one to send me a picture of themselves and my blanket. I figure there are quite a few out there that have reached through the monitor and filled me with joy. For each one I have deiced to send my kind of love to them in the form of a blanket. So maybe one day you will get a note from me asking you to tell me one or two of your favorite colors and your address. I listen to you when you write me, I hear your when you are having a terrible day, and I rejoice with you when your life is good. The point of this story is there are many ways to reach out and touch people that are kind, caring and giving. You can find a way to say "Thanks, for the kindness you have shown me." It doesn't have to be making a blanket. It can be a note, a craft, some cookies or home made soup. The pleasure you get out of giving something you have done is awesome. While the gift brings happiness to the friend, you get the real gift. The one of sharing a talent, that is only from you. I know you all have hectic lives, and any down time is welcome. But a call to a sick friend, or bringing milk home to a neighbor, or taking the mail in for a vacationing friend doesn't take too much time. Never wait to be asked, just go up to them and say "I have a wonderful Idea, I can ............ for you." How can anyone say no to kindness? One more thing, this week there was a study that said, spending too much time on the Internet is not healthy. You remove yourself from "real life." While generally that may be true, we all have family and friends that we inter face with. But the people I have been lucky enough to encounter on AOL, has only enriched my life. I have told some of you more that anyone really needs to know about an unseen face. But in return of opening up my heart, I have been truly touched with good advice, kind word sand other points of view. I have been made aware of such kindness and understanding that I am in awe. My goal is to have each and every one of you in my home and so far I have met over a dozen people. So when you come to Disney call me! My son said more people are coming to Orlando to see me than see Walt Disney World! LOL by Carolee Kaufold My Thoughts....by Carolee © "may be reprinted with proper credit"
10 people like this
24 responses
• United States
10 Apr 07
Thanks for sharing this Carolee. It touch my heart. I am a very affectionate person too and my toddler is learning this way too. I am not afraid to hug, smile and give compliments to my family and friends. But am not doing that to strangers because nowadays many will think me nuts. Probably if I do that "Free Hug" movement with a sign on it, people would want the hug...=) I don't know how to crochet. I never had the talent for doing that. I do know how to bake though. So now and then, I make some delicacies that I learned from my mother and send it to friends and relatives. Another way too is sending cards. Aside from special occasion cards, I send thinking of you cards or artworks made by my toddler with a note that we are thinking of the person that day and hope my toddlers artwork will cheer the person up. I love to get something even a note in the mail and it always brought a smile to my lips. Most of the time I get the bills but a note from a friend is always welcome. So, I make sure I can give that smile back to others.
@AmbiePam (44004)
• United States
10 Apr 07
That's so sweet. You know, the more I read of your posts, the more like I feel I see snippets of you and your personality. Thanks for the reminder to do all we can, even when we may be going through our own changes.
@ironstruck (2300)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
I think one has to be careful and considerate when it comes to the touching and hugging thing.. I for one do not like to be touched. I am also not one for doing a lot of hugging. Of course I would do both of those things if I really knew the person. The reason I am standoffish is because of being brought up in a home without much affection. It is not something I can really change. I did not bring it on myself. I'm just stuck with it and don't really see any way of changing the way I feel at this stage.
5 people like this
@OURDEW (4812)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Carolee, You are a very careing person. When I read your posts, I feel like I know you. My mom crochets baby blankets and brings them to the hospital for premature babies. She say's the hospital blankets are too big for the babies, so she makes them small and soft just for them. You seem like a person I would be lucky to know.
4 people like this
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
i can't find the word to describe you... motherly? nice? sweet? thoughtful? i guess you're a great lady with a big heart :) especially with the complement coming from your son. i can also relate with what you are doing. i too, would like to make the world a better place for people to learn on how to hug and show appreciation for other people. in this time, i also feel that more and more people though stay close in distance are starting to move apart because of the new technologies. people tend to interact with other people through the internet making them too concentrated on the 'net people' and not trying to talk with their peers anymore. it is so nice of you to share those blankets. i also try to reach out to people who are dear to me by giving them my cross stitch works. but most of the time, i show my appreciation by writing to them and sending them cards. i hope you won't get tired of being a good example here in mylot. people like you inspire people like me to appreciate what i have now.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
10 Apr 07
Yeah you seem like a very sweet and nice person. Thanks a lot of the message you sent me under my name with a scratch off. that was very nice of you. :)
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I've heard that said about the internet also but I don't fully believe it - I still have offline friends and they express an interest and encourage me with my online efforts. I too crochet - last year full sized afghans for 4 sisters, pastor & his wife, one for mission field, and 8 baby afghans and matching pillows (I sell the baby ones). The year before last all 4 kids, one for myself, 3 junior size for grand kids and 2 baby ones for new granddaughters. Yesterday, Sunday, my Mom informed me I was charging way to low for the sets I'm selling so guess I'll have to raise my prices at least a little but I get joy out of knowing some where in the world a baby is enjoying my work. I do my best to "hug" my internet friends with my words - I too am a hugger :)
4 people like this
• China
10 Apr 07
Your article make me feel at home .From your article ,I can see you are a free man .You have so much time to do what you want to do. I want to say I envy you very much. I have many many thing to do every day ,so things I want to do always haven't time for me .Also from you paper I see you are a woman good at commuication.I have several opinion same with you .I think we should treat our friends wholehearted.Although sometimes they something bad for us,we can forgive them,because we see them as our friends. Do you think so?
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
You are indeed a very affectionate woman. I was raised on a family that has a cold front, my parents are not affectionate so we developed a cold front also. But my partner now teaches me to be affectionate but sometimes he said im so cold but he doesnt know how much i love them but im afraid to show it. Now im learning still to be affectionate to my partner and also to my babies. Maybe i should learn fast so that they'll learn from me too.
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
I am very thankful that I have sprung from very caring and loving parents. I thought that I will even be more loving and caring for my children when they came into my life. I believe I have achieved this with some success. That is, judging from the way they have grown up. My three kids are loving, caring, understanding, thoughtful and mindful of others feelings. You must even be much happier the way things are turning up for you now. Congratulations!
@kelly60 (4550)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Wonderfully said, as usual. Although I cannot crochet worth a darn, I get my pleasure out of my one talent, and that is my music. I love to sing, and so far my friends and I have recorded several CDs that are available by donation to Hospice of Michigan. I also sing karaoke at a local bar every week, and everyone knows that when I walk in the door, I will spend at least 20 minutes walking around the bar hugging all of my friends, and sometimes a few new friends before taking my seat. I have met many very nice people there. One of my favorite groups though is an elderly man with Alzheimer’s, who comes in with his brother and a friend each week. I sing a special song just for him every week. My online friends are very special to me too though. It really bothers me when people say that they are nothing but a name on the screen and that I will never meet them. How do they know? Maybe I will make a point to meet them one day!
@kelly60 (4550)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Thank you, Carolee for choosing mine as the best response. Your discussions are always so inspirational to me, and I am sure to so many others as well.
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
10 Apr 07
You are a wonderful woman! There are no words to truly express the joy you must bring into people's lives. I think you've been an inspiration to many of us to be better people and reach out to others more often. It wasn't very long ago that I faced some very hard times. I can't say things are 180 degrees better now but they're good enough. So many acts of kindness were shown to me then that I'm still trying to "pay it forward" whenever I get the chance. I know they feel blessed when I reach out as just as I did when they were there for me but I don't do it for attention. I rarely even let them know that it was me. About a year ago, some friends of mine were struggling really bad. The had 4 children and he was having a hard time getting work. I knew they were behind on their house payment and were going without the phone and heat. I'd already given them my extra snow boots and coats at the beginning of winter. I'd had a conversation with her about how she was packing the kids up most nights to have dinner at her parents because they were running so low on groceries. I ended up splitting my own grocery money which was barely enough as it was and used it for them. I put it all in there car with a little cash during church service so they never knew it was from me. The next time we gathered for Bible study they both asked that we all pray with them to thank God and ask Him to bless whoever had done that for them. I can't describe the feeling it gave me. I can't often spend money but I try to do the little things whenever I can. Sometimes a note or a kind word is all people really need. After reading about your "hugs", I think you're the one that deserves a "hug". If I ever get to Disney again, I'll be sure to call. Your son is probably right. Knowing you is enough to make me wish I could go again.
2 people like this
• Canada
11 Apr 07
You have such a kind heart . I can't imagine many would take the time to do this for someone else . I am always a little leary of talking to people I don't know and think that is what makes the computer so nice , as you can be yourself and if someone does not agree with you , then they don't really know who you are anyway as I am not one much for talking to people until I get to know them really well and can trust them . I love your blanket idea about keeping in the mistakes as it is true that we all make mistakes in life and it is a nice reminder that none of us are perfect in life . Take Care :)
1 person likes this
@dixielol (1581)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I tried to learn how to make blankets & things once but I just didnt have a knack for it. Its nice of you to do that for people. Have you ever donated them to a homeless shelter or sold them on ebay? Its nice of you to make them for people like that. Maybe I should be friend you, im pretty cold right now:) LOL!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
10 Apr 07
Wow, I just love this story and it showes that u can "touch" people in so many differnt ways. i am sure that the blankets are well appreciated =) I also belive in showing love and I do it every day, to all the people I care about. a kiss - a hug or even just a touch... It is important coz Love is the most important thing we have!
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1554)
• United States
10 Apr 07
What a lovely story! :) My parents also were not very affectionate. There was nothing bad, we just never really hugged or anything. My DH's family is big on hugs and waving good bye and things like that. Once I got used to it, I prefered that way. I'm not physical with friends or non family adults, but I love hugging on the little kids, especially DS. I think it creates a safe, comforting, welcoming feeling and I want to pass that on to others. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Apr 07
it is nice of you to feel this way however some of us are the exact opposite i dont care for hugging unless its close family i feel like it is invading my space so please remember not all of feel the way you do the gifts are wonderful and im sure your friends appreciate them!
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Whenever I read your post it feels that I have known you. I feel that you are a caring,wonderful person.My hugs to you.If I ever go to Fla. I sure will stop by and say hello. I have never been to Fla. and my husband has promised me to take me there.Have a great day.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Apr 07
I love to touch people, I think it's easy for most people to forget that there are people who care about them. However I come from a place where touching isn't the everyday norm. Sure girls will hug each other to say goodbye but other than than that no one's very physical. I'm also afraid that if I do touch someone they'll percieve it as something more than it really is, which could lead to some very awkward situations. I know some people don't like being touched. I love being around touchy people, it means I can touch back without being yelled at.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Apr 07
wow... a very good way to express yourself.. atleast u manage to find some online friends which spend time with u.. listening to your stories.. but not to mine .. haha.. anyway.. it's okay =)
1 person likes this