April 11, 2007 8:33pm CST
Evaluating progress A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job. Active socially: Drinks heavily. Alert to company developments: An office gossip. Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job. Average: Not too bright. Bridge builder: Likes to compromise. Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law. Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own. Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps. Conscientious and careful: Scared. Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless. Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying. Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well. Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice. Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear. Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well. Enjoys job: Needs more to do. Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone. Excels in the effective application of skills: Makes a good cup of coffee. Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date. Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together. Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward. Happy: Paid too much. Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way. Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot. Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors. Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas. Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept. Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work. Is unusually loyal: Wanted by no-one else. Judgement is usually sound: Lucky. Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes. Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer. Listens well: Has no ideas of his own. Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time. Maintains professional attitude: A snob. Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker. Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions. Not a desk person: Did not go to college. Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time. Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use. Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors. Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hard-headed. Should go far: Please. Slightly below average: Stupid. Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life. Stern disciplinarian: A real jerk. Straightforward: Blunt and insensitive. Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn. Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut. Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors. Takes pride in work: Conceited. Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement. Uses resources well: Delegates everything. Uses time effectively: Clock watcher. Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work. Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week. Well organized: Does too much busywork. Will go far: Relative of management. Willing to take calculated risks: Doesn't mind spending someone else's money. Zealous attitude: Opinionated.