Doing this great deed
April 12, 2007 8:57am CST
Doing this great deed A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad. Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad. Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!" The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face". "Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"? "Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.
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12 Apr 07
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers." she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!" She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."