do you have any fair weather friends?

Canada
April 12, 2007 11:35am CST
First of all in case anyone is not familiar with what a fair weather friend is the type that is always there when times are good but forgets about you when times get difficult or problems crop up. I have such a friend. We have been friends for 19 years been through divorces and huge chances in each others lives.Our friendship has not always been the fair weather kind till her most recent relationship of 7 years. We were once always there for each other. But now she seems only to be available if her life is in the dumps you will see her call for seven days straight if there not getting along but if things are good on her end you might here from her 3 times a week. Us finally buying a house is a huge step and she knows that and I asked her to come see it she said maybe later in the week i just shrugged my shoulders and said whatever. I'm getting used to the brush off. Then an hour later she calls lets grab a coffee and see the house but meanwhile she wants to tell me her and her man have had a huge fight lol. So finally today I said do you think we may have outgrown our friendship. She starts crying and says how can you say that your like my sister not my friend. I told her how I felt and she said i thought you liked when i dumped my crap on you lol..which of course made us both laugh. the point is sometimes you do need to give even the strongest of friendships a booster shot to remind each of you how important friends are. because like spouses we can take each other for granted. Cheryl
5 responses
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I have a fair weather sister. She only calls me and my little sister when her loser boyfriend is out with his friends. She usually doesn't get invited, but she provides the money. Her boyfriend doesn't have a job and hasn't had one most of the time they've been together. He lives with her rent free, and she even gives him extra money. But she wouldn't even give my little sister gas money when she wanted her to come up and hang out with her. It's really pretty annoying, especially when you consider the fact that my little sister is in college and works for my brother, who hadn't been able to pay for her for over a month because of some stuff. But my selfish older sister couldn't give her $5 to come see her? Instead she whined and complained and said my little sister didn't love her. My little sister said she could come see her, but she wouldn't because she knew her boyfriend would be home before her then. I rarely talk to this sister. Like I said, she only calls if her boyfriend isn't home. Or to complain because she never gets pictures of my son anymore. I don't mind sending out pictures of my son. But I don't understand why she thinks I should keep giving her all these free pictures and sending them to her and everything, when she can't even send him a birthday card or a Christmas card? She just likes to show off pictures and talk about how cute her nephew is, even though she doesn't know anything about him. Last time we were home (we live 1000 miles from home) she went out with my little sister, my baby, and me. We had been shopping for less than an hour when her boyfriend (who lives with her) called and said their friend wanted to take them out to eat (she had seen them three days earlier, and sees them at least once a week every week). She threw a fit because we wouldn't take her home right away! Her boyfriend came and picked her up, and hates me now because I wouldn't take her home. So what, if she had only seen her 11 month old nephew less than a dozen times in his entire life? Her friends that she sees more times than that a month are more important. Even when she knows we are coming, she always has other things to do instead of go to the family functions at my parents' house. Instead she expects us to drive the 30 miles to her house, just to see her for the few minutes of free time she has between doing things with her friends. Sorry for the rant. Can you tell I'm mad at my sister? LOL
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Apr 07
I'm thinking your sister is a very selfish young lady. incredible how some people really think the world revolves around them.Yet if you said half those things to her she would see nothing wrong with any of her behavior.It is truly maddening I know. It still amazes me how they can pick friends over family without even blinking an eye and a month later they don't even hang out with these friends but the hurt for the family member lasts a long time.I'm so sorry you are feeling so hurt hon but there is no changing here behavior till she grows up and hopefully that is soon hugs Cheryl
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
Well kaperkitty at least she still talks even if it is just on her terms. Yes I sure do know what you're talking about. I made friends with a co-worker and we became very good friends. We talked a lot and she trusted me 100% telling me her darkest secrets and we made a point of meeting once a week for lunch. We were both married but her husband was not well and she had a hard time of things. When her hubby passed away I attended the funneral and we continued being friends but only until she took up with a fellow. She sold everything and moved in with him and never bothered with me again. I don't even know his name, just what he does for a living. She uses her cell phone exclusively and when I went into town one time I called her to see if we could do a coffee and I got an automated voice mail that informed me she would not accept phone calls from a cell phone. I have never heard from her again. Took me awhile to accept this. Just hope she's OK.
• Canada
13 Apr 07
oh my goodness that's just awful. I can't imagine how you must feel after building a friendship like that with someone and then nothing.I'm sure you must worry and then feel slighted all at once.Thanks so much for sharing your story with me hon it really does put things in perspective hugs Cheryl
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
What a strange question, lol. :P I thought all friends are fair weather friends, with the exception of a few. If you can get a few bosom friends, you are in great luck.
1 person likes this
@carlena1 (120)
• United States
12 Apr 07
She is taking you for granted, and there is nothing more painful than having those closest abandone you at the most troublesome times. Forward you message or e-mail to her explaining you need time alone to re-evaluate your real friends. And mean it!!! Don't wuss out- good luck, and know that everyone appreciates people like you!!!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Apr 07
well thank you so much for understanding how I feel about all of this it means a lot. I really felt put out over the house issue because as you can imagine it was and is a big deal to me. your response was just the shot in the arm I needed Cheryl
@sparling (178)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
I can so relate, i have a couple of those. As you know sarah and i have been freinds for years, about 13 to be exact. There are times that i feel like her other freinds are more important because they dont have the responsibilities that i do, and like the 2 of you i can easily tell her how i feel and things seem, to brighten up for a little while. i know when it comes down to it i can count on her but i feel that since i had kids our freindship is not the samei see her when everyone else is not around...is that a freind?
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Apr 07
I know that's exactly my feeling and in know you are aware of which one of my friends this is. I just always end up feeling slighted and it's not fair. I am thinking with the new house and keeping busy and being closer to the family as we have become in the last year or so that eventually things will just end itself thanks sweetie Hugz Cheryl