Difficulty saying "I love you".

Japanese Heart - Heart with love written on it in Japanese.
@Kythe42 (1413)
United States
April 13, 2007 9:13pm CST
Do you ever find it difficult to tell your SO that you love them? I know I have a hard time doing it. The only time I ever tell my SO that I love him is when he says it first. For some reason it's easy for me to say it if he says it first, but I don't know why. It's not hard for me to physically show my affection. I can even verbalize it by saying how much I care for him, how great he is, and how much he means to me. What is it about those 3 words that is so difficult? It used to be a long time in between times that he would say "I love you" to me. Now he's been saying it to me more often. I get the feeling like he wants me to say it first sometime. I know that I love him, I just can't seem to get up the nerve to say those words.
3 people like this
20 responses
@stailgate (2364)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I say it all the time, and I always open my arms for a hug. My mother on the other hand has been one of those people that can not do it so easily. She hardly ever says I love you. I think I have only heard it a couple of times my whole life. She always says that I know it, so she don't have to say it. My sister is the same way. I tell my kids all the time, for no reason at all that I love them. And I never go anywhere outside the house, to bed, or off the phone without telling my husband that I love him. If it is hard for you, try to say it more often, as time goes by it will become more and more easy for you. You may know it, but others need to hear it as much as you do. So say it loud, say it proud!! you love them!!!
2 people like this
@Kythe42 (1413)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Yes I know I should try to say it more often. I guess the first time I say it first will be the hardest and it would probably get easier after that.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
14 Apr 07
yup.. i agree with you .... it's very difficult to say i love you.. it happens when you love someone very much.. that you're just feeling a little bit shy to express it out.. but.. deep in our heart.. we know we do love the person right? :) .. sometimes.. action speaks louder than words.. like the song title 'more than words' by westlife :) .. so.. hope u understand
2 people like this
@gberlin (3836)
14 Apr 07
It is true that it seems hard to say 'I love you'. For me, I found that the more I said it the easier it was to say it again. The more that your are the first one to say it the easier that becomes also! Try it and you won't regret it.
• Canada
14 Apr 07
i have a hard time saying i love you. i think it's cause i grew up in such a cold household. when i first met my father when i was 13 i went to his house and they said i love you all the time when someone left the house or just sitting at home. i thought this was so strange and never thought anyone did that. i never heard that from my mother before. anyway i'm like that with everyone but my daughter i tell her a million times a day i love her but i still can't say it to anyone else. my dad sometimes says it on the phone when he's saying goodbye and i say ok bye. but he knows it's just hard for me to say.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
14 Apr 07
Can it be a fear of beeing rejected???? To me it sounds like u are scared that he will not say it back, or the fear that u will make yourself more vulnerable. I do belive that u have to say it first to overcome whatever you are going trough and I also think that it is important for him to know and to hear u say these three words without him first saying them...
1 person likes this
@Kythe42 (1413)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Well since he's said it first before, I'm pretty sure he'll say it back if I say it first. Maybe it is the vulnerability thing. I know that I don't like to look vulnerable. I also hate the thought of crying in front of anyone for that same reason. I almost always hold back my tears in front of others and let them out when I'm alone.
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
14 Apr 07
Hi, First all whats SO stand for? Does it mean husband and boyfriend? Anyway to answer your question, No I dont find it difficult at all to tell my husband that I love him and neither does he, thats going 13 and half years strong and still in love...
1 person likes this
@Kythe42 (1413)
• United States
14 Apr 07
SO stands for significant other. It could mean boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, life partner, lover, etc.
1 person likes this
@Greyh22 (110)
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
saying 'i love you' was difficult for me before. But now, I got used to it. Before, I had a hard time. I was shy and I get tense when I need to tell those three words. But my ex boyfriend showed me the love that is unconditional. You can never hesitate or frown when he's there. He made me realize that I should not be afraid in telling 'i love you' to those who are dear to me. So i tried expressing and saying "i love you" to those i love. and it worked out. I got used to it thanks to him. In your case, I think, the right time will come wherein you'll adjust and realize that saying those three words can make people really happy... =) goodluck...
1 person likes this
@omarking (91)
• Egypt
14 Apr 07
yes it is very diffcult to me too.untill now i didnt tell my girlfriend that i love her .and i dont know how to start that or how i tell her.and i think i'm the boy and i should to tell her first.i have 15 years only.if u can help and tell me how i tell her or what i do tell me :)
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
It is one of the most deep parts of love. If you really mean it its hard to say and you need to think about the question: do you truly love him/her.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Apr 07
u r rite..people whom u love u very much u feel very difficult to say i love u cos the words underestimate the feeling u carry for them....
@Pateos (79)
• Canada
15 Apr 07
It is quite hard to say i love you. But if you truly love someone, then you will most likely be able to say it. Most people regret not saying it... And so have i. I wish that i could just say it. because once you do, you will feel so much better, you've expressed your feelings towards them and hopefully they will love you even more. I wouldn't recommend saying it on text messaging or something like that, because it is very wrong... Face to face... Just look at them straight in the eyes and tell them you love them!
@healer (1783)
• India
15 Apr 07
Saying 'I love you' is not an easy word for me also, but i found out that its very easy for guys to say that three strong words. I say it to my boy friend only and thats also once in a blue moon when he really wants those words to carry on. According to my past experience boys can really say these words easily, but there is a saying like 'action speaks louder than words' so, a little bit of love and caring shows it all.
@mitchacoy (252)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
I think it's okay. I believe that seeing love as a verb, rather than a feeling makes and improves your relationship. Usually, men express their love by saying it-" I Love You!". Be curious if he doesn't say it anymore. Worry about that. But, right now, I see that he loves you and you do too.
@nujrem20 (63)
• United States
15 Apr 07
Just waite him to say "I love you" to you!!coz its not right that a girl would be 1st saying that word for a man!!...Just show him that you love him because action speaks louder than word!
• China
15 Apr 07
I always think that love needs not words,love is in my heart so others can feel it,and I don't show my love with words.It is really difficult for me say"I love you".
@thefuture (1751)
• Nigeria
14 Apr 07
It is not hard for me to express my feelings to people I love. I don't think it is a difficult word to say, but I don't just know why some find it so hard to say it. I think saying such words shows how sympathetic one is. Have a nice time.
@dcroome2005 (1211)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I tell my SO I love them all the time. I have never found saying I love you hard. IT's easy knowing that you may never see them again because they can be taken away from you at any given time. I tell my friends/family and my husband I love them every day I speak to them. Life is too short to hold back the feelings you have for someone , especially a SO. That is just my opinion. I tell my husband all the time how important he is to me and that I need him in my life. Communication is the # 1 key in a relationship. Holding back feelings is a lack of communication and can kill a relationship quicker than anything else can.
14 Apr 07
Dont find that hard at all and tell my SO all the time. Sometimes it might be due to how you are raised I guess. When I love someone I will say so.
@bad1981 (799)
• United States
14 Apr 07
Yes I do when he really pisses me off somedays. Somedays I jsust dont feel like saying it and I wont. But i do hate going to sleep mad or arguing. You never know what tommorow brings because nobody is promised tommorow.
• Pakistan
14 Apr 07
I think you should say him i love you.Look love needs expressions.You need to express yourself.You need to change youself for your love.Believe me you have to change youself.