I Have no friends...
April 16, 2007 4:39pm CST
I'm overexaggerating.. I have friends, but I'm beginning to feel very dissatisfied with my current situation. Most of my friends are men, I get along with men better and I don't feel as much pressure around them to be fun or outgoing or catty like I do around women. I like men, but I think the fact that 3/4 of my friends are guys is a bit much for my boyfriend at times. He has female friends, but he definitely has more male friends than women. I have a few female friends here in my city, but I have a hard time connecting to them on a deep level like I used to with my female friends back in school in my hometown. Most of them it's all I can muster to call them up once a week to reconnect. We usually make plans to go for coffee that never really happen, and I feel the distance between us becoming more and more everytime we talk. I'm closer with a few women I don't live anywhere near, and can't visit more than once a year or so (if that), and I wish I had more friends like them here. My boyfriend has a core group of friends that he spends a lot of time with. They go out on their motorbikes, go for breakfast/lunch/beers at least once a week when he's in town, catch a movie, etc. and I feel like a burden sometimes when I can tell he wants to spend time with his friends but knows I have no plans of my own. Men were easy to meet -- I meet men everywhere.. coffee shops, bars, bookstores, online, gay and straight, and most of them are great guys that I can't see myself with romantically (especially since I'm in a committed relationship) but who I could definitely see as friends. I hate reading Cosmo or advice columns because they mention things like 'getting together with the girls' or ladies' cocktail nights and I just simply don't have enough close women friends to make things like that happen. I'm also not in the greatest spot financially, so I can't really afford to join any group, and I'm not athletically inclined so I can't really join a sports team (I'm also more of a solo person when it comes to exercise!), so how does one meet people for friendship? It sucks, because I personally think I'm pretty happy flying solo most of the time, but like I said, I sort of feel like a burden on my boyfriend a lot of the time and it might be nice to have one or two good girl-friends to talk to. Anyone have any suggestions that are cheap or free on where people go to strike up friendships? I feel so pathetic. :(
2 people like this
17 Apr 07
You have to go where you want your friends to appear. For instance, if you are looking to have bookworms for friends, try the library. If you like those hip and happening kind of people, hang around pubs. If you like sports people, go to the stadium. You catch the drift. :P
• United States
16 Apr 07
You sound like an understanding woman of mens ideas and things. You should feel good you dont fall for the propaganda and you take good care of yourself. I think I would be glad to have woman friends like you. Keep up being you and dont worry about others.
• United States
17 Apr 07
I feel just like you. I get along better with men too. My best friend is a guy. We've been friends for over 20 years, and we just have so much in common because we like the same things and have a lot to talk about. I don't have any girlfriends right now, but I do a lot of things with my daughter, like go out for lunch, shopping, and movies. My husband has a lot of friends from work, and I like some of them as friends too, but I can't stand their wives. I try to be polite and friendly, but they seem to have their own clique, and they pretty much ignore me. A few years ago, I decided not to go to any more of their parties, as I have much more fun staying home. I wouldn't mind having some friends, but I'm kind of isolated out in the country, and sometimes I stay home for weeks at a time. It really doesn't bother me not to have friends now. My dog is good enough company for me. I don't have any new ideas for striking up friendships, but the other responders have some good ideas.