"Um, hey, this is really awkward, but I actually only accept friend requests from other Muslims. Allah commands it. Sorry, man." That's Slate's recommended way of deflecting unwanted friend requests on social networking site Facebook. Nice, except if you're a Muslim! More advice: "What about work colleagues whom you don't want in your personal business? There is no easy answer to this. Basically, you're screwed." Seriously. Related: people, I do not want to be a fucking pirate or vampire...