When the time comes, will there be a lot of people at your funeral?

Gee, it sounds like I hit a nerve with this discussion.

Maybe good to think about things sometimes.

One thing I would like to mention is, if your husband is the legal father of your children, HE will have custody and he will figure it all out how to take care of his babies. HAve you ever talked to him about this stuff?

Sorry you are in a 'unsettled state' I guess, we could call it. I sure hope it gets better there for you SOOOON!

i admit it did hit a nerve with me. lol. not a bad one really. it is something that me and hubby have talked about alot. my oldest is not his by blood but he has been the only dad she knows since she was 14 months. she is 12 now. we are both scared tht if something happens to me that my family will try and take her. my family is horriable. they are abusive and drink and do drugs but they have pull in high places. the youngest kid is ok she is his they wouldnt have a leg to stand on. its my oldest that i worry about. we have talked and tried to do things to ensure her safety but my family is not normal. lol. i think though our biggest fear in the whole is what if something happens to us both. we have no one to leave them to that would be good to them.

my dear friend. Please think about writing a will and if there is anyone you can think of that would be good to your children. A will is legal if it is handwritten(not printed) and signed by you! I don't know if in your state you need to have 2 witnesses sign it, but, if you do, they do NOT get to read the will, just so you knwo.. they are just attesting to it being your will.
ADD a legal guardian paper and have them sign as well.
Anyone that you know as a good and kind person who would be able to look after your children, ASK if you can assign them as guardians in the event that something happens to you and hubby.. even if it should mean you were both were in hospital for a bit and you needed care for them, so that someone could immediately take your kids into a safe environment and, if not keep them under their roof, at least involve soical services to get them a safe loving place to be.

Failing that, try in your yellow pages to contact social services or another source where you can ASK questions like this and see what help they can give you, in the event that anything were to happen etc.

I am not American and I imagine different Sates have different regulations.

It may be that your kids could go into foster care even. DON*T believe every awful story you here.. Only those hit the news. The rest are wonderful people and it may be an optíon.
Even if you could have immediate social serives help arranged, by the person you would trust as a legal guardian, then it would at least give social services a chance to assess your family's feasability to have them at all. There would be no 'family' all over your husband, if he were available, and the law would look after the kids otherwise.

Just a couple of ideas. You neeed peace of mind about these issues. You are young and caring and need not to be eating yourself up over something if there finds a chance to make this easier on you. HAve a look what you can do. ALL is not lost.

thank you so much for taking the time and giving ideas. it really does mean alot. you posted the discussion but you took the time to reply to mine and give ideas to help me. i think that is great. it is something that is hard to think about cause you just dont want it to happen but we do worry about it and some people when we have talked to them are like your young dont worry. my kids are everything though so i do worry. i will call socail services though and see if they can help with ideas or point me in a good direction. we have a will that we did and all its just in the states that doesnt mean it will happen people can contest it and throw fits etc. i just wanted to say thank you though for taking the time for me. it really does mean alot to me. your daughter is very lucky to have you for a parent with all the heart that you have

Take care of you, dear lady. you have enough stress in your life being a mummy and running a house and the difficulty of feeling on the one hand, isolated where you live and the other, suffocated by family.

We all need someone on our side, all of us. Thankyou for your kind words. I am glad you will take steps for your own sake. A little knowledge and a little help can move a mountain of worry. I wish you well. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

So, am I to gather from this that if I were to show up at your funeral, you would be totally teeed off?

and ..er does this mean no red rose or a tear on your coffin?

you would be right!

if you want to remember me at all, I want it to bring you joy, and laughter.. because that was who the "real" me was.. I love to make people smile or laugh... even if one day I'm not here. I'd like to know that my laughter lives on in my friends.

okej,, so THAT worked! NOW I have tears, thankyou! If you are gonna talk like this, at least warn me.. I am going out to rake the embankment.. I must, no I neeeed to do that now.. sob
HUG!!

awwwww NO! you aren't suppose to cry!
now stop that! don't make me come over there and slap you with a keyboard! LOL!

What a busy busy day it has been.. got alot accomplished and that is good, thanks to you. When I am like YOU mademe, I get absorbed in work and can move mountains!!.. okej stones and paper and stuff.

I like it here too much(gulp)and I need to get things done!

Now I come here and read your words and instantly my face lights up!! keyboard?? THAT would hurt!! you brat!! you little brat! you are good for me and you know it.. and so do I, bless you!( happy stupid smile)

awwww I'm glad that I made your face light up:)
the threat of being slapped with a keyboard does it every time! lol!

The big eyes just MADE it 'look' like my face lit up.. it was the eyes, girl!( shock and terror.. kinda the same look!!) lol

Death of loved ones is really tough. I sooo know.
Imagine being there, what a novel idea! what do you think are the chances?

friend,

sometimes the kids saying the which really matters in the life.your daughter i think really cute.you ar putting nice conversation over here.its great to see that friend.everybody's knows that when time comes everybody has to die on some day.so then your relatives will witness of your funeral.if you are good from heart with others.then everybody gets shock when you died and they will cry for you.
keep mylotting

hahaha, sometimes you just go on and on, don't you? LOL

'ahuh’

No no Annie play nice. Fjaril, everyone of my friends (the ones I can touch lol) knows, that I have specific instructions, for my funeral one day.

My hairdresser,(she is also one of my friends) must do my hair, my beautician must do my nails and make-up. She is also one of my friend. My best friend must buy some Portuguese lace and weave it between my fingers.

I left her some money, so she can hire alot of people, and pay them to cry a river, so there you go I will have lots and lots of, crying, sobbing mourners, and I will look beautiful.

How is that for dying dramatically and with class. win*k Oh by the way you and your missus are invited, the money I'll leave behind, will be enough to cover your airfare:)

Wouldn't miss it! It doesn't take much to make me cry, though. I will bring along a couple of rolls of toilet paper, or will you be supplying that through your final instructions?? (looking blinkingly innocent)

My friend leave the toilet roll at home, when you get here there will be designer handkerchief's for everyone! Oh and you will be booked into a 5* Hotel, just don't take the robe as a souvenir because I will see yah!

hahahah.. no I won‘t, dear Annie, and I never do. What's more, from now on, when I see someone DO that, I will think of YOU! How to be remembered HUH??

What a humour you have! I do get to keep the lovely hanky from you?? May I throw roses on your grave? Or don’t people throw roses at a funeral, hmmmm.. Maybe just toss.. Gently, okej, lay gently???

My friend everything about me is gentle, and please remember to pack a tux, because afterwards there is going to be a party of note!:D

wow!!! and you will be there, right? right?

A small intimate funeral. I have been to a funeral and a couple of weddings like that. and it was more personable..definite merit there, I think!

haha.. funny lady you are!!
You know, you would be surprised really. well NOT YOU, if it was YOUR funeral.. or maybe?
When you have a busy lifestyle like YOU do, who has time to think about funerals anyway!!

*LOL* you are just as funny fjaril! But you are right to say who has the time to think about this anyways*GRIN*. I'll sure be surprised if there's a HUGE turnout. Then again, i'll never be able to convey my deepest appreciation for them since they actually make the effort and the time to come see me for the last time.

Maybe i should write a thank you note way ahead of time. so that somebody can read it at my funeral! That's not a bad idea ya know?

THAT IS BRILLIANT! Yes DO that! YES!

You asked for it fjaril! LOL So here goes, ..........

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the passing of me. I would like to thank you for taking the time to see me for the last time. For those of you who's been eyeing on my husband, i convey good news to you... he is now a free man! For others who would like to take care of my 2 intelligent, creative, inquisitive boys, do have a road map of their education and show it to my husband. if he's agreeable, then you foot the bill.

Those are the only treasures i have to share. However, if you are waiting to hear the will of my other real estate properties in the maldives or the greek isles, i'll be waiting for you in spirit.

May GOD Bless you all! Lots of love, hugs and kisses, Adlynne Hartini Mohthar

HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is brilliant!! PLease DO save that and look at it now and again! THAT is too funny!!
Thans so for sharing that and giving me the biggest laugh of the day.. how clever indeed!!

Thank you sir, i will take that as a compliment! - Lyn

My daughter always had very special conversations with me. We were great company for each other and we shared an awful lot of interesting 'stuff' over the years.

She calls me every Sunday and we chat and she talks(haha) and I hear it all, the good, the bad and the ugly and I love her for trusting me with it all and knowing that I will let her live her own life 'anyway'.

I love and respect her too for letting me live my life and easing me into the transition of being without her and my grandson day to day. What a couple of miracles right there have I!
Liran, I will be at your funeral, dead or alive, and, either way, we will be communicating!! Thanks for inviting me!

OMG Fjaril, do i laugh or cry at this?! i guess..... LOL

ahahahah.. it shook me for the moment, but I was used to the strangest from her,, hahahah.. chip off the old block.. ever heard that expression? LOL

hey fjaril, have you heard of this new one that goes.... chip of the old bloke?....LOL

Kidding of course!*GRIN* - Lyn

hahaha,, A little play on words,there, and it makes more sense really, doesn't it? LOL

You are a ray of sunshine..to ME! it is always so great to see you!

Good point you make, about being dead anyway, soo... true true.

Be well, my friend.. You have miles to go before YOU sleep!(thankyou Robert Frost!)

Hey Daniel and Fjaril......a reunion!!! It's been such a long time.

Tetchie!! wasn't THAT fun!! I always enjoy his 'drop ins' here. So nice he remembers us, as I know you and I sure don't forget him.. A special fella and friend, he is.

And then there is us.. what more can I say? should we hug? yeah, we should!! (())

Being you are such a friendly soul, I am sure that the people you meet and get a chance to know will be honoured to attend your funeral. Don't you think?

i hope so... thanks for the compliment...:-) for me, i just want to be remembered for all the things and contributions that i had done since i am alive... and i want to leave a good memory to those people who i left behind... that's my wish...

You seem like such a good person and I cannot imagine that others oin real life wouldnt think even higher of you. I think you need not even ever be concerned. You would be truly missed! Keep being this wonderful person. The world needs you!

Dear lingli! Hope you are well and happy! I was touched by your response and therfore picked it as best! Cheers!!

BUt I clicked wrong and I am so sorry! Please accept my apology and know I meant it for you!