How to Make Friends with Your Son in the Bloom of Youth

Thanks for it. As he is growing older, we don't prohibit him very often in doing things that he likes to. We will just tell him not to spend too much time in reading novels that are not helpful with his study. I once told his Mom to be friends with him by doing the same thing like he does, allowing him to do things that he likes to.But once you remind him of his study, he will just say impatiently,"I show no interest in it. Don't urge me to study." But if you don't urge him, he will just keep reading novels as if only reading novels can fill in his empty and boring world. We are trying to understand him, but he never seems to understand us. It won't be long before he will have the high school entrance examination in the middle of June. He is not worried about his lessons at all. He used to be in the fourth place in his class in the middle-term examination, but now in the latest exam, his total points made him in the 19th place. He is not making progress at all, but leggin behind, which worries us a lot. Whatever we say, he refuses to listen. He is ok with you when he has some demands and when you don't say anything about his study. Such a hopeless kid!

I appreciate your response very much. We will try to get up to be friends with him by better understanding his needs and serving him likewise. I do hope he will have some changes in his attitude towards his life and study.

As he is not the kind of person who loves social activities, (to be honest, he is introvert),he never hangs out with bad kids. He only loves to read novels and plays computer games on Sundays for one hour or more. We don't have to worry about his hanging out with bad kids. His biggest problem is showing no interest in study at all. If her mother asks him to read and memorize the English words, he would say, "What's the use of reciting these English words? Even if I have read them for a few times, still I cannot remember them." He seems to be stubborn and won't listen to us at all, however hard we tell him that English is one of the most important subjects at school. We have no idea what he is thinking about. When you ask him the question--What will you do after you grow up? He would say,"I know what I will do."But he never tells us his future plan. We are lost in the sea. I just wonder how come he is becoming more and more disobedient like a wild kid!

It sounds great. To exchange the position to think is what I often tell my students when they do not behave well.

For example,when the students are very sleepy on a hot and tiring afternoon, I often begin with, "Hi, Kids. Suppose you are in my position, what will you do when the majority of your students are tired of study and just want to sleep on such a tiring and sleepy day?"

Guess the answer? They will all say, "Jisir, I would allow them to sleep," And sometimes I do allow them to sleep for a few minutes or up to ten. Then I will yell, "Hey, Wake up, my kids. Time for class now." To some of them, it works, but not to all.

You see, I follow their ideas sometimes. I won't force them to listen to me if they are really tired. I just let them be.

This way we are good friends. But to my son, whatever we suggest doing, he will say,"I am not interested. I don't want to play with you."

There seems to be a gap, a generation gap between us parents. I can work well with my students, but not with my son. What a failure!!!

I will have to think of more ways to know him,I guess.

Thanks for your advice!!!

My son plays computer games for one or two hours on Sunday or reads online novels on Sunday that don't agree with kids of his age. Once my wife asks him not to, he feels unhappy and borrows novels of that kind from his regular library. His interest right now seems to be reading novels only without caring about his study at all. If my wife askes him to study, he feels bored and will start quarrelling with her leaving her so upset. He will have to take the high school entrance examination in the middle of June and he is not worried about that at all. I am wondering what has happened to him.

You are right. Now after five months, he is getting better not to do so much online reading. I think that it is because he is busy with his study and he is pushed by his teachers in the new school.

Hello ssh. Thanks for your very informative advice about how to be friends with the kids of of ours. I think that I have benefited a lot from your valuable response and we are doing some activities already and will do more based on your valuable advice. Our son is improving a lot now. Thank you again for your participation, ssh.

By go on appreciating me for every small thing, sometimes I get a feeling that you are making me a small man. Thanks. Tell me who will not get elated to listen to praises. Glad, the tips were quite useful. I havenot seen you for quite sometime here.

Hello ssh. I am so glad to see you around today. I have been very busy these days and I think that I will have much less time to spare for mylotting because of my busy work this month, but I will still try to be active when I will have my four-day rest again in seven days. I am very busy with my teaching job and foreign affairs with foreign guests from New Zealand these two days and help training my students for English pseech contest around November or the end of this month. I feel stressed from my work and always think of my work even in my dream. Thanks for your greetings, dear ssh. I hope that you are doing well with everything.

By the way, mylot is working very slowly tonight and I have to wait a long time for it to show before I can repost discussions. I don't think that it is the problem of my computer and internet connection because the other websites work fast. Good night, dear friend.

That is right. I am also having the same problem. Sometimes uploading the informatio is taking long time and sometimes I had to cancel it and restart again. May be some glitches.
I understand that you are busy with your teaching profession. Incidentally, in my business centre, there are lots of principals waiting for me to get their question papers typeset in my business centre. I have already completed keying in, layout of question paper for 10 schools, from Std. I to Std. X for each school, having 6 subjects each, that means each school will have approximately 54 question papers, sometimes each question paper runs into 2 or 3 pages. I had to feed the matter, making the layout, check the spelling, check the marks alloted for each question and finally take out a print in laser printer.

Hello mithrarao. I am glad to know that your two sons had the same period and they were later ok to you parents. So I don't have to worry about that much.

I think that it is really nice of you to be friends with the sons and let them think that they were no longer regarded as kids to close the gap. You are a qualified mother to the kids. Thanks for your valuable response and blessings to my son. The same to you, dear mithrarao.

Thank you Williamjisir,......The secret is to treat your son not like a fifteen your old kid but a fifteen year old young man.......They will be undergoing some physical and mental changes during this period and we should give them some room to grow up on their own even though we love them and want to protect them all the time ....that is why they become rebellious......

Have a good day ..........

Yes, you are right to say that we should leave some room for them to develop themselves not to make them rebellious. Thanks very much for your further response, dear mithrarao.

Yes, this is a very critical moment to guide and support the kids well at this age so that they won't learn bad things and fall into bad hands. We are making friends with him to make him feel that we are trusting him like the way we trust an adult. Proper psychology is of great importance in understanding more of the kids at this stage. Thanks for your nice response, dear subha.

I agree with you that this is a universal problem when kids reach this teen age. Yes, we are now making friends with our son and he is now getting much better now than he used to be. Thanks very much for your response, dear mimpi.

I am sure you two will overcome this soon.
Good luck and take care.

Thank you so much, mimpi. Have a good day.