Want to do the right thing.....please help....regarding son's birthday party....

I would have purchased everything if I had decided to have the party at the house.....so I really feel that it is my responsibility.

Thank you, fluffyfrog, I appreciate your response.

Of course, enough food has been ordered for everybody....I would never have a party with adults and children and not feed everybody...

However, mflower, I do think that if someone orders something special off of the menu...because I have already ordered 6 large pizzas...then yes, I would say that they would be responsible for paying for that..

Thanks for sharing your comments with me.

Thank you, reachravi, I also think we should pay and I would never have questioned that fact, if my friend had not commented about it not being my responsibility to pay....but I feel that it is more important that everyone come and have a good time celebrating my son's birthday than to worry about the money part....although, if I were the one invited...I would probably pay for my family....

When I began to plan for his party---I would not feel comfortable asking someone to pay for the food if I had the party at the house...to me I see no difference...I mean that I invited them to a party...I am the hostess for this party and my son is the peron of "honor"....to me it is important that all just have a good time...

I wish my friend had not even mentioned this; I, also, do not want my friends to feel bad because they know the expense involved in having a party of this size.....I am so confused!!!

When the older kids were little this would not have been an issue...because their parties were either at the house or park...and I cooked out! They also socialized with more of our families children and the majority of the guests were their family members in some way...

Thank you for voicing your opinion, my friend...and my son said "thanks" for the Happy Birthday!

Yes, mihimolly....that is how I feel too...they are my guests....

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you so much, my friend....I had no thought about asking them to pay until one of my friends mentioned that she would not be comfortable coming if she could not pay for her family of 5....she feels that this is too much...I, of course, had not even thought about it from that aspect...that is why I started this discussion...I really wanted some others opinion.....

I appreciate your viewpoint, my friend. Thanks for the kind words...I just know he will have so much fun....he is so excited!!

I began this idea with the intention of paying for everything.....I would, of course, not feel that way if an adult ordered something different.....I went to the bank and got $50 in quarters....that is my limit on that...there will be 10-12 children present so I feel that is fair....

He is so excited!! Thanks for responding.

Oh, I do not feel stuck and I really would never have thought anything about paying for everything....since I invited them...I anticipated paying and am so glad to have a big party for him...it is a benchmark birthday...since he is now old enough to go to school this fall.

I would not even had a question except on of my friends stated that she would be uncomfortable bringing her family of 5 without paying for her family...so then I wondered if I would end up making someone feel bad because I was picking up the check....

Fortunantly, I have access to all of the folks on myLot to help me see both sides of this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate it.

Thanks for saying that...it makes me feel better...I planned to pay everything tomorrow anyway....it just feels right to me...but she made me question myself...so I turned to ya'll.....I knew others would feel like I do.

I appreciate your thoughts on this matter very much!

I agree that you should probably pay for this yourself. I mean, these people are you guests and like you mentioned, they are brining presents for your child. In my opinion, that is payment enough.

After all, you don't want the awkwardness of "oh by the way, could you chip in for this" when they arrive?

You don't want to in any way make this party about money, it should be a fun experience for all the kids. However, if it is too expensive, I would mention it to some of the parents beforehand. Perhaps you could talk to the parents that you are friends with, the ones you know best? That would probably be the best method of avoiding confrontation and problems.

Just my two cents.

I do plan to pay for this party....that was never really a question...I guess the real question was more about making the adults feel uncomfortable about actively participating in the food part.....Since this was my friends concern.....I would not even have thought anything about it, if she had not said something about it.

Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts, Marie.

Derek, I would never be confrontational about financing this party...that is not like me at all....I always intended to pay for it....my friend just made me wonder how the other adults present would feel...that is why I asked my fellow myLotian's for their thoughts on the matter.

I see that you are new to myLot, I would like to welcome you! I hope that you enjoy it here.....this is such a great community to be a part of....Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.