Do You Think Birth Order Influenced Your Life?

What a coincidence! There was a report on papers earlier about this topic.

It claimed that "older" siblings will be smarter and overall better. Perhaps, it feels good to think this way if you are the eldest but I honestly doubt the truth of this.

As for favoritism, I think the parents are the key issue here. "Good" parents should take care to treat all children equally (no matter how hard it might be) and*not* show favoritism.

Being eldest is not all that good. Too many "social burdens".

I am an only child pal, My mum last a baby ( my sister Isabell she was 10 months old and I never knew her as she died before I was born, I often wonder what it would have been like if she had lived, So I will never know how that feels, My Granny had 10 of a family and how she coped God only knows, My eldest got a lot of attention as he was born with ceoliac, then 2and half years later my second came along, then 15 years later Ross came along and he got made a fuss of as he has CP, but the other 2 were like second dads to him, they still are in a way but in other ways they all talk together as if they were the same age, . Don't know if I really answered your question pal, sorry xxxx

Yes, because I had more responsibilty being the oldest and looking after eac one of my siblings. I defintly was more resonsible at an early age... I do think it influences our lifes.....because of that.

We were six my oldest sister had a lot of responsibilties. I remember she used to have to cook and look after us while our parents would go out. She got married when I was about 11 and my other sister got married the next year 12. I was left as the oldest and my 3 younger brother. I had to learn to cook and do all house hold chores while my parents would be out. When I was 16 they would go out of town for a week or two and I was held reponsible for my brothers. I think as the oldest we get a lot of responsibility. I now have five children. I show no favortism towards them. My oldest doesn't have anymore responsibilty as his younger siblings. They all have to keep their rooms clean and put away their things. I do agree there were times when being the oldest was a burden.

I think birth order definitely has an influence on your life. I can see it in myself and my brother and I can see it in my brother's children as well. Being the oldest, I am much more serious and worrisome than my brother. More was expected of me and I was, and still am, given less help in anything and everything I do. My brother was babied more and given more. He did it to his kids, as well. Not on purpose, I'm sure. It's just the way things usually work. His oldest daughter is very serious and tried to take care of her brother and sister while they were growing up.

I was born smack in the middle of 5 siblings (45 minutes before my twin was born LOL). My older brother had a lot of responsibility when growing up and I was not visibly aware of it until recently of how much my parents relied on him and still do from time to time. Even though I was the eldest girl my sister was more responsible than I was which I think came out more when she got into an accident and was left blind in one eye. She was the first to leave home and buy a house and all sorts. Then my oldest brother followed, then my younger one (who by the way got married first) and me and my second oldest brother stayed with our parents until they moved overseas. I was working and helped them out too. We all did once we started working, it was just the thing we had to do. I know now that my eldest brother was left with the biggest burden of all though.

My younger brother was spoiled (11 months younger than I was) but was also sick (has a hole in his heart) so he pretty much got a lot of the attention as he was not a well baby in his earlier years. He had a hard road and a lot of steps to follow, being the youngest and all. I know he had a hard time at school always being compared to the rest of us.

Being the eldest girl and in the middle, I didn't crave for attention because I think my sister and I were so close that we had each other so, if mom or dad were busy with the boys, then it didn't bother us at all. We all grew up to be very independent and not have to rely on anyone else but ourselves.

Absolutely, birth order influences who we are. How can it not when it is in childhood that our young brains are so impressionable? I, too, like you, am the oldest of five children and can agree with having similar experiences as those you referenced. What is striking is that I read your post within 24 hours of having this first thought in my life: wondering what it would have been like to have an older sibling, perhaps a sister, who I could rely on rather than being the one relied on by others. Wondering what it would have been like to have someone watching out for me, protecting me as I protected my siblings. In my family, it was our mother we needed protecting from. I've come to realize that my emotional bonds with my siblings are what they are in terms of birth order but that it is up to me to decide the role/person I am and not accept assigned roles of feeling responsible for everything, thinking I must fix everything. It is not fair of me to think my siblings want me to fix things if that is a role I fulfill. It is up to me, not them, to define myself. It is very rewarding that they accept me for that and now it is easier for me to accept the fact that I am the oldest and find some good in that.

Yes, birth order affected my life! LOL.. I was 2nd.. and I also was the baby. So I couldn't do anything my brother could do. He was 4 years older and he got to do all kinds of things. He got to stay up late at night.. and then up in the teens he got to go out on dates. Being the girl I always had a leash around my neck... That being said, I really didn't notice any difference once I got older and out of the house. It was just when I was a kid that I noticed.

I am but sadly the only cub in the pack, when Mrs wolfie had me she said no more! In actual fact she couldn't have any more, I wasn't spoilt per se but I was the 'miracle' child. In my deep dark depression I wished I hadn't of survived. Sometimes I wonder with faint heart what my life would have been like had there of been a brother or sister, preferably older to look out for me, maybe I wouldn't be in the mess I am in now!

I am the youngest in my family, and I feel the same thing as you, always feelling like I am responsible for everything. To this day, if my parents get in an argument, I feel like I need to fix it. When my SIL was treating my parents like crap around the time that her and my bro's first child was born, I felt that it was my responsibility to talk to my brother on behalf of my parents and sort out the whole ordeal. I've always felt that I need to take control of the situation and take responsibility for it, even when it's not my responsibility to fix it.

I only have my older brother, and he always thought that I got everything I wanted because I was the "baby," but he just didn't think about all the stuff he got too. He got more freedom to go and do as he pleased when he wanted...he just wasn't very social so he didn't take advantage of the freedom my parents gave him. His grades could be MUCH lower than mine and they would still be satisfactory. Anything he wanted to get involved in, they forked out the cash for it. I know it was mostly because they were just wanting him to get involved in ANYTHING, but still.

When my high school years came around, my parents were strict about where I could go, when I could go there and who I could go with. I had to bring home straight A's because that had become expected of me. When I wanted to get involved in something new, they always let me, but begrudgingly sometimes because I was very active and outgoing and wanted to be involved in everything.

So his mindset that I was given more and treated like a spoiled brat was wrong...he simply never took advantage of the things my parents were willing to give him. I did. lol