Confessing Your Faults

I do admit my faults. I don't like to blame others for things that I have done and I could have done differently. I haven't made very many bad choices in my life yet as I'm still in my 20's but I have made some. But that is done and over with and I don't look back on those choices...I just look towards the future. I'm sorry you lost your home but I'm so glad you were able to get out of that abusive relationship.

This is kind of a hard question for me to answer..you already know so much about my life, though various other discussions I've had here...about my mother, the problems she created in our lives.
To me I think my whole life was a series of bad decisions...I was in a sense very gullible and trusting of my mother and it took me MANY years to "wake-up" and realize that many of my dumb, set-back type decisions stemmed from my on-going need to seek approval from my mother. Yes, I do, do the blame game with my mother, but also myself.
I don't think parents realize just how much they influence their children, for good or bad. I think it was especially hard as I was an only child, so of course the "spotlight" was on me. It didn't help from the moment I could remember that my mother never said anything nice about my father and I never got to know him...my parents were divorced when I was only one and a half years old. So she constantly tell me such vile, negative things about my father...then turn around and say, "Oh, you're just like your father, you have his personality." She also reminded me that my personality was like my great-grandmother's...so here I was supposedly having the personality types of my father and great-grandmother...two people she hated...so gee, is it any wonder I sought approval, to be "mummy's good little girl?" It also turned me into a somewhat perfectionist....not that it's a bad trait..to try and achieve one's best..but in many ways I never was able to have a childhood either...I think my mother sensed that I was an extremely responsible person, even as a kid...I was alone a lot, being a latch key kid and did take on responsibilities that aren't expected from a person until many years later, not as a young kid.
It also took SO many years to realize that my mother DIDN'T take on responsibilities...she dumped them on everyone else while she lead a "free-spirited" non-commitment type lifestyle--in other words living in some kind of twilight zone...It also took me many years to realize my mother no doubt had some real heavy duty serious emotional problems...also, she just plain never "grew" up.
She yes I do a real heavy duty blame game thing against my mother, but I do sometimes beat myself up for like I said having been so trusting and downright gullible and stupid...it took me many years to realize that I DON'T have to seek approval of anyone else save one person....ME..wish I had learned that long time ago..

I could go on and on here. But like I said you're so familiar with my story

Now...while yes I might blame my mother, and yes, I might beat myself up for being so plain stupid and making a lot of wrong decisions in life ...my mother was famous for talking me out of doing things I wanted to pursue..At the same time I realize due to my stifling upbringing in many ways it made me stronger.....I could problem solve, I could take responsibility, I could make decisions, whereas if the simplest thing upset the apple cart with my mother she completely fall apart and hide her head in the sand and hope the problem could and would go away...and as we all know problems in life don't resolve or go away with that kind of attitude.

There are still so many things I want to do with my life...I'm still mending and healing you might say, but now with my mother having passed away I no longer have that negative influence in my life anymore and can only hope to move on to achieve the things I want to in life....ABOUT TIME!!!:)

As far as I can see it, your mistake wasn't letting this man into your life. You'd known him several months and he was obviously putting up a false front to work his way into your life. You could never have forseen what was going to happen once you let him into your life. But... and this is a big BUT... I agree you were at fault when you let his abusiveness carry on, and even gave him money to stop abusing you. He must have thought he'd hit gold, big time! Yes, I agree, you should have sent him packing immediately, but we can all say things like that with hindsight.

I too made mistakes in my life, and yes, I will own up to them, but if I find myself needing to make a decision and put things behind me, I tend to go off for a time of solitude, when I think back on things, and look to my inner self for an answer. It's surprising how well you can make decisions in this way, with no influences around you apart from Nature. Once I've made my decision as to which way I'm going to go, I will return to my home and set things right for the future... thus, I feel I grow spiritually, and my life is much more satisfying.

Brightest Blessings.

Firstly may I thank you for sharing this, as I know it couldn't have been easy to confessing your fault, I guess with time these events in our lives get less painful, but at the time they tear us apart, you know my story, not too dissimilar from yours, I made a stupid mistake getting involved with NOT just one guy but two, I jumped from the frying pan into the fire. I needed rescuing so I jumped from one controlling, manipulative relationship to another which ended up with mental abuse I suffered for 4.5 years, the first one lasted 5 years. I have learnt an awful lot, not to get involved ever again and that love is NOT for me. I have also learnt not to trust people and to look after number one, the only person in life that can rescue me is ME, not some horribly cliched knight in shining armour! I've accepted my lot in life and I am happy to spend the rest of my life single, for my own peace, sanity and survival. You are a survivor my friend, it's just a shame that the shite happened, but it always does to good people and we do indeed learn the hard way x

I write down what I see which needs to change, I'm always working to better myself as I think we as people "generally" go through stages of improving ourself. I tend to be to serious, I'm not the easiest person when it comes to making friends, in person it appears I'm to eager or not bothered.

Believe me, if someone said they didn't "make any bad decisions" I would automaticly assume they was lieing.

I think we have, I know as a kid I made a whole bunch of mistakes and bad choices but we learn from these things and it's apart of our experience. Most the things I've worked on, was after my grandfather died when I was 14. I was pretty much a cannon then, not a "bad" lad but someone going down the alley of being close to it. (kinda like bart simpson)

~Joey

Here's one that goes way, way back - which is certainly not to say I haven't made plenty of bad choices since then! When I was growing up my parents, especially my dad, were always talking about me going to college. They didn't "push" any particular field or profession but it was just taken for granted that I'd go on to college and "make something of myself". I was really "into it" myself; I'd gotten a big college directory and was trying to decide which college I wanted to go to. I took my SAT's and did quite well. Then, I met my future husband and the rest, as they say, is history.

To make a long story not quite as long, I became pregnant at 17 during my senior year in high school. Instead of going off to college I got married and had a baby. Who knows what I'd have ultimately majored in had I gone to college or what career path I may have chosen. Who knows if I'd have been a success or just another person with a degree who ended up in a mediocre job. And certainly, no one can know what turns my personal live may have taken. Would I have eventually married someone else or would my husband have "waited" for me and would I have come back to him or him to me?

What I DO know is I wouldn't have the wonderful daughter I have now or the amazing grandson and granddaughter she's given me; I wouldn't have the wonderful son-in-law I have or the close friends that are in his family and are now like my own. I may or may not be with the one and only love of my life but our lives would certainly be much different than they are today as it turned out! Sure, we've had some bumps in the road but in spite of them I'm glad I "messed up" and got knocked up...lol! I wouldn't change a thing!
Annie

I have many faults that I do confessed to my friends and even someone that have the authority to gives advices. And I can say that I never regret those mistakes in my life bcoz I learned so much in that mistakes I grew, I learned and I've been more stable now facing more difficulties in life.

Congessing u r self to others is a gud habbit .. i too agree with that ... but it shouldnt be like that u keep on repeating the same thing again and again nd then u r confessing it .. Once a fault confessed is like half redressed .. .. nd moreover to go worng we are humans nd to err is human only right .. then we should realise that what we r doing is right nd will not hurt some one ....

hmmm. It seems its the case with most of us. sometime in life the matter of heart takes on matter of brain. we do the moistake. we lose the protection shield and it seems that we are doing right. eventually it turns out to be worst decision in life.In my case, not this much serious thing happened. But it was something similar. i depended too much on a so called friend and he proved to be a cheat. it gave me immense pain.

We may see them as mistakes, but there is never a time when God is not completely in control. He allows things to happen to teach us and prepare us for the future. He builds charactor in us and makes us fit for the roll he wants us to perform in this world.
We may look at our lives and say if only this or that had not happened. But, before the foundation of the world, God already knew what you and I were going to do. Knowing this, really helps to cut down on my anxiety when I think that I have totally blew it.
I say to myself, God knew that I was going to do this before I was even born, but he chose me anyway. A lot of times we get the feeling that when we mess up, God is some how in heaven going, oh no, I had no idea she was going to do this or that. I saved her? I wonder if it is too late to take it back?
No, no, no, he is saying you are my child, I know what is in your heart. Don't let go of my hand, just talk to me, daddy already understands. He says in his word, What the devil means for evil, him will change for good, so that he may be glorified. This is why things always work out. Isn't God wonderful?