Help me find myself  

I can see that you have experienced a whole lot of life. What are the good things right now, (daughter, husband, home?) and what does "happy" look like. Emphasise the positives and the see how you feel. What things in your life do you feel in control of, what could you regain, what can you do nothing about, so why are you worrying about them, you've enough to do.. Don't just think these things, write them down. Have you tried keeping a daily log. Good things and bad, read it and thinks how often things actually go well. Do you panic? Try breathing. Take a deep breath - say "one thousand" (silently), hold for 5 seconds and then breathe out saying "one thousand five hundred". It's the exhaling bit that works. Things will feel slightly more placid. Especially if you can train yourself to routinely breathe this way. Take care.

its realy bad and i do feel sorry but still all is not lost you are mom and wife its not in our hand to change things that already been done but its in your our hand to be positive and try to enjoy looking at your children with hope of better tomorrow.i can understand that we can never comeover some losses but nothing can bring them back what is gone so only is hope left with us we will see that new spark in our life and with time all pain will get heal. dear leaving that pain behind bring smile on your face and think that you are reborn and you have to start all again

Life is an endless emotion and we have to pass through it, so why cant we live our life in a cheerful mood ? Pains and sufferings will always be there as we know that a sailor doesnt enjoy sailing in a silent sea, so live the life to its fullest and combat the challenges offered by the life. Its simply a matter of resisting in a small piece of time which is odd in our understanding but possibly its gonna offer a lot to learn for the future. If some precious ones are lost, a lot are waiting. Living for the forthcoming is the progression of life and remember stagnency will always lead to accumalation of filth.

hey hi... to find urself u have to do what u want to do... and if u have loss sumthing then one day u will get a good thing from it.. believe me everything u do from ur daily life it has a meaning and if u understand the each meaning of ur life then really one day u will get to learn abt ur self realy ....

It sounds like you have a plate full and I really do feel for you. Some people just seem to get all the bad luck. It sounds like you have been dealing with so much that you have lost yourself in it. You are probably overwhelmed with it all. I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. One thing you could do, if you have the time is get some councelling. You could join a group and tell your stories. Talking about it makes it feel better and sharing it with other people who are experiencing the same thing is very rewarding in itself. Do you have a greiving group place in your town? Call your mental health facility and ask if they have anything like that. I think it would help you alot. Good luck and God belss!

Hi there!

It really seems like you've gone through a whole lot in life. We are the same age and I am not married yet. I also have gone through my own challenges, but when I look back I am thankful that I survived them. I know that I survived it because I am still here. Things can never be easy if you don't set your heart and mind to being open to options and also allowing yourself to adjust/adapt with the flow of what life brings you. I can say, that I can smile back at the painful memories that I may have experienced because I know that I did my best in every honest way and also making sure that the people- my loved ones, whom I was going through the same phase, understands the effort that I exerted and also they knew that it was from my heart when I did things. One useful tool for me was praying for guidance. I'm not sure what religion you may have, but it would help to uplift the burdens to HIM. He said - 'Cast your burdens upon me, those who are heavily laden. Come to me all of you who are tired, who are carrying a heavy load. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and my burden is light. Come to me and I will give you rest.'

Don't lose your faith and trust especially in yourself. God bless!!!

i have to say im 38 and i have yet to find myself.like you i have have lost alot of family and friends in fact i dont have much left. i have relocated a few times to different states to get away from issues i wont get into but i will say this helped. i wouldnt say i was running away from anything just needed a change.my husband and i have been through a great deal of things like you. i also have a 17 year old step daughter.between illness,dealths,suicides,mental illness,drug,financial issues,and on and on....we are still together and hope we will be together till we grow old and die.my only positive thing to say is life changes so much and things wont always be hard.you will have good times and those nasty bad times.be strong and look into you heart for answers.trust also in god to get you through. thanks for letting me share.

Based on your story, i feel how you feel.. i know its a hell of emotions experiencing all that. I remembered when my mom was sick of cancer and we're going in and out of the hospital for months.. i almost felt the same way as you do. Eventually when my mom died after six months of chemotherapy, the feelings has worsened. Nevertheless, life must continue to go on. I guess despite of all sad things that happened in our lives, we still get true happiness from the love and care of our family and friends, from the things we loved doing, and from our faith in GOD. I think we should dwell on that more than the struggles and pains we have experienced. Remember and remind yourself always that those trials made us stronger so they are more blessings in disguise instead of curses. Find time alone by yourself and meditate. Focus on the good / happy memories and your strengths. Try talking to God and vent all your wishes, pains, and happiness. That's what i call building my relationship with God. It really worked for me, please do try it because i think it could also work for you. Find a trusted friend (he maybe your bestfriend or your husband), share your feelings with him or her. I'm sure you'll be okay. :-)

I am sorry you feel that way but put in mind that you have a child who cares and loves you and needs a mommy. You have to think positive in life.Do not just stay in one position and crouch in a corner. Open up to the world. In life we lose people we love but we have to move on to focus on the other people you love who are still living and still needs you. I am a person who have been at the worst of times..I don't know what you've been through but in my life I learned from all my mistakes in life. I aim for something I want and I don't stop until I achieve it. When I am down with problems and bills and life just seem to fall down on me. I don't think about it and lose myself ..instead I smile and say to myself tomorrow will be a better day for me. I focus on the future of my family not the past. I am 34 but look at me in that picture. Do I look 34? And I have kids as well.I have 5 of them. I have a full time job after work I either go to the gym or hang out with my friends for an hour or 2 but that one rarely happens. I also play with my kids I always try to be happy even if the world is putting me down. You should find a hobby you will enjoy. A time for yourself..A time to play...A time with your kid and a time with your husband. Have a date:) If you want make a goal for you or your family like something you want to achieve ...a house ...a car..an appliances..education for the kid..savings..Then now think of a way to achieve it. Hard at first and it might take years but the harder you try the more you get nearer to achieve it. Be happy in what you do that's all you need to do. Good luck!

Hi,
I can't help you because only you can do it! but I think that maybe you should try to find yourself in art.. maybe you should try to paint or write a book, to sing or dance..have you ever tried this?
I think that all people can paint, write, sing, dance and do all they want, they have a patent way of doing these things and it's not wrong!
It's not important if that doesn't bring financial benefit for you but it will refresh your soul!
Don't avoid from that! Just try!