OK a lot of people feel this way.. but why?
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
February 19, 2008 4:20pm CST
My mind has been going around so many things at the same time lately. All sorts of questions popping out that it would be a waste not to ask them here LOL
FOr now this is the one on my mind: Why is it that when someone talks in a different language in front of us, the first reaction of so many of us is to think" is she/he saying something about me?/swearing at me?"
I have seen this happening so much and personally I don't exactly understand it because when that happens with me I don't really think anything special about it.
But I do know that it is the first reaction from some people, and some are even offended when that happens.
What would make it feel that the person is talking about us specially something bad?
Truth be said I have seen it happening more in here than back home, maybe because people are/were more used to hear other languages around.
Could this be a cultural thing? THe effects of living in a country that although so multicultural is still mainly a huge block of land where everyone - almost everyone - speaks only English as opposed to Europe where you can go trough 3 or 4 different countries - and 3 or 4 different languages - in one day?
Clue me in. What would make me think someone is talking about me just because they're speaking in a language I don't understand? Or why would that be my first reaction?
3 people like this
6 responses
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I don't feel this way, as people can speak whichever language they would like to speak when they aren't talking to me. I have managed to learn some Spanish listening to other people talk. Many people speak Spanish in this state.
I do get bothered when somebody speaks Spanish to me expecting me to understand, as my Spanish is a few basic words. I think this would be like me talking to them in sign language and expect a response when they have only watched me sign.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Yes it would be confusing if the person was talking to me in a language I don't know and expected me to understand.
But I've seen it happened generally when they are talking to someone else but close to us.
It happened just the other dayat the doctors office. 4 ladies where giving their information to the secretary. Yes they did talk to her in English, but one seemed to have more trouble than the others with it. So when filling out her form, that one turned to the others and spoke in her language - I"m not sure which, it sounded like Polish to me - now the secretary took offense, when to me it just seemed like she was asking about a question in the form she was filling out.
Sometimes it seems more like people get upset because they can't understand a conversation that is not meant for them... that's kind of being nosy isn't it LOL
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I do not particularly react by thinking they are saying something bad, although sometimes (not always) I feel it is somewhat ill mannered, but it really is not any more ill mannered than whispering is. People get just as paranoid about that. I think it is easy for you because you speak such a variety of languages, that you grasp that foreign speech is not necessarily secretive or derogatory, but might be just private, keeping one's business to one's self. I do not like it when we become so isolationist. Another reason I am easier with it is that I have friends who have a different native tongue than I do.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
Yes, you seem to grasp the concept as well. It sure is polite to at least attempt to speak in the common language as opposed to the one no one else understands, but I can think of quite a few reasons for that so I can understand it.
ANd you are right about the whispering, I had actually made the same connection in my mind, and the truth is that in general whispering is not exactly taken as offensive although it is to some people.
YOu're also right, I believe , in saying that it's probably easier for me because basically I am used to have different languages around me and I feel at ease with it, so I don't feel threatened by it.
I have thought about this and I find that maybe the people that tend to think that the person might be saying something bad seem to be the ones that have a bit less self confidence. It makes sense to me, because a confident person won't immediately think that someone is saying something bad.
Being used to have people talk different languages around us, even when not all the time, also seems to make the person feel more comfortable with a situation like that.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
19 Feb 08
I don't feel like people are talking about me when they are speaking in a different language. However, being in the US I do feel that using a forgein language in public is quite rude, especially when you are standing right in front of someone. Now it is different if you are a tourist vs if you have lived here for many years and just don't use the language.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
19 Feb 08
Yes, I guess that is one of the differences. Personally I am so used to hear different languages that someone talking another language in front of me even if I don't understand it doesn't bring any special feelings.
OF course I can expect it from a tourist, that will make sense.
It is also understandable to me that someone even though here for a long time, might have difficulty explaining something thus reverting to the first language to express himself/herself better so that maybe another person that understands the language can help. I've seen this happening often with people that are not completely fluent in the language.
Now if the person was talking directly to me I would find it odd specially if the person knew I didn't understand the language. But I wouldn't necessarily be offended.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Feb 08
Here it really depends on the Circumstances before anyone thought htat
But it is not often at all that you hear someone that you know in a different language to be honest
It is more when People whisper that the alert Button goes of
But when they do that they make it obvious that they are talking about you because they are glancing at you
I just ignore it now I really do not care anymore what People think of me I know different
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
20 Feb 08
It all depends on location. When I was in bank, cashier was speaking Spanish to other cashier while helping me and it makes me very upset. I took it as disrespect...
I don't care if people around talk in different language, but I don't like when they do it in front of my face.
I know few languages, but I respect others and I never speak other language than English when close to people who can feel not welcome in the conversation.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I think it goes like this. When people who don't know more than one language hear people talking in another language, they are startled a bit and have an instinct to give them a LOOK. And when they give them a LOOK, the people speaking the other language have their train of thought broken by that and give them a LOOK back. The first people, unaware, perhaps, that they actually started the thing don't like the look they got and so they stare back and get stared back at and then think that because the people speaking the other language are LOOKING at them, that they must also be talking about them, which if they are rude enough and stare long enough may even come to be true!
By then they might be saying "Why is that person looking at us like we did something wrong?" or "Look at that person who is rudely staring at us!" I always say to people "If you wish to think the worst of people, watch out what you wish for as you can through your own actions make it come true!"
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
That is a very reasonable explanation. Maybe there are others, but so far yours is the one that makes sense.
Without meaning to be offensive or rude, I sometimes feel a certain arrogance in some English speakers as if English is the only language worth knowing and that others should learn it instead of the other way around. Specially in here. Maybe because it is such a big vast land where people can drive for days in a row always within an English speaking blanket.
I really mean no offense, but I have felt it a few times. It's not everyone, but it has happened.
