totally petrified to go see my orhopedic surgeon  

MS,

I'm so very very sorry you went through this, and I can understand what you mean by doctors pushing drugs, back in 97/98 doctors told me I was depressed, and that they could cure me of pulling my hair, wanting ot stop pulling my hair so badly I listened to them, I took their medications, and they made me worse, but of course it wasn't their medications ....it was me, they kept giving me band aid effect medication....

It started with Luvox, which is supposed to treat OCD, and it made me crave alcohol, of course their medications can't do that, I overdosed, it was a medication that had not lasting side effects if you overdosed, I overdosed, and was drunk to boot.... that was suicide attempt number 2 from there things went downhill very very fast.....fast forward about 3 more weeeks and on more medications, and this time I overdosed more severely....2 more times, these doctors didn't care they said it wasn't the drugs making me like I was.....but my husband argued for me, because I couldn't I went through 19 medications in 9 months--I finally went of, I didn't care what doctors thought I was tired of medications, I was tired of being drugged, I'd rather live my life without hair and pull it out than deal with someone who thinks they can cure me through medications,

But when I went to an internal medicine, general practitioner, she rode me about pulling my hair, and harped on me for 30 minutes about seeing a psychiatrist, I was mad, and I didn't like her, she told me that I had bad body oder, was angry, and had to do what she said, and its like this with all doctors who see me they are so hung up on my past that is none of their business, to see teh idiot I saw I would have to go out and buy a brand new outfit every time I see her because you can't wear clothes that are stained. she was a judgmental b----

I truly understand what you are going through with doctors because I'm going through it too, just on a different issues. I tried to see a neurologist once for migraines and she gave me heavy duty antidepressants which I refused to take, medications that I had just come off of, but she judged me because of my suicidal past....

I've learned once labeled always labeled.

There was only ONE doctor that I saw that didn't put me down, and gave his reccomendations on a professional level and didn't talk down to me like I was some kind of idiot, and I vowed right then and there it was the last time I would talk about my medical past to anyone in the medical profession.

He at least had the decency to tell me it was my decision....but gave me his opinion, which I respected, but I am scared to crap to go through with the surgery on my foot, because I am so afraid that doctors are going to try to kill me.

I know what you are going through. I would think that they would have given you anesthetic locally to kill the pain....

I know what pain is like....and while you have it worse than me, I can empathsize with what you are going through.

Mooch

Mooch

"Once labelled, always labelled" - how true that is! You may know that my son was a NICU baby, he had a tough start but he's fine now, hale, huge and hearty, but the doctors take little things that they would have ignored with my "normal" kid and freak out over them and forever make me drag my baby to specialists for nothing. They made me get his brain ultrasounded because he has a big head - but my daughter had a big head and they had no problem with that and everyone in my family and my husband's family (except for me and him LOL) have huge freaking heads! So the bigheaded baby is a non issue but they made me have them look at his brain anyway (he's fine). He spent nearly two months in a torture device known as a pavlik harness (starting at five weeks old) because one of his hips felt a little loose. It was terrible for both of us, and while the condition usually fixes itself, we went through the treatment to be safe because I'd have been labelled negligent if I hadn't. He's fine now, but at the last checkup the pedi thought his arms were floppy (they are NOT, he just goes limp for the doctors - can you blame him?) and I told her it is because he goes limp for the doctors after everything they've done to him. When I picked him up he was FINE, only when the doc picks him up is he limp. I have to demonstrate this at EVERY visit and they will probably STILL make me drag him to another specialist! Once labelled abnormal in any way, you are forever labelled as such.
My anit-depressent is Elavil. They wanted me to take some new drug but I refused after I read about the side effects. With two small children I cannot run the risk of losing my marbles when I am alone with them. This medicine I had taken previously when nothing else helped a two month long migraine that nearly killed me in my twenties. I did not have any adverse effects so on my suggestion he gave it to me to help with the nerve pain and frequent headaches instead of the unknown med. My aunt is a psychiatrist so I ran it by her first and she researched and saw that elavil is indeed effective for some people with nerve pain. But I'd still like to get away form my neurologist, he doesn't listen. I say the pain feels like broken glass inside my bones and he tells his little tape recorder that I have "burning pain" it is NOT burning, I freaking know what burning feels like and this ain't it!
I tell him I can't feel my toes at all, and he says to his dictation machine that I feel "tingling" in my feet. No, I said I fell NOTHING, not tingling, not anything. There's a difference. I have a lump on the back of my head that gets bigger when I have a headache, I have mentioned this at every visit for over a year and he does not send me for an MRI or anything. He is the only neurologist in this area. I hate him, but I need the stupid medicine to not be bedridden and I have little kids to care for.
There ARE some good doctors though, the OB who delivered my daughter was awesome. Unfortunately he no longer delivers and I had to get someone else when I had my son and we both almost died.
I had hernia surgery recently and the surgeon was VERY nice, he did the best he could to make me feel at ease and when I had a panic attack right before the procedure he sent the anesthesiologist to "help me relax" it worked. Before they put me under he had me talk to him about happy stuff to get me into the right frame of mind. The last thing I remember before going to sleep I was telling him all about my kids. When I woke up, he was right there, the first person I saw, checking to make sure I was OK. He told me how the surgery went and THEN I saw the nurses and assistants. Before I went home he came back again to see that I was OK. He also made a good impression on my husband who he spoke with before and after the surgery.
When I was home and in a lot of pain and the meds weren't helping he immediately called my local pharmacy with a better prescription. At followup visits he was very kind and professional and answered all my questions. Even my children liked him ( no baby sitter that day LOL).
So there are some good doctors out there, and hopefully you will find one. Surgery was frightening for me, but having a good team at the hospital made it all OK.
Thanks for BR, you'll be in my thoughts. I hope they fix your foot and ankle, I know what a hassle it is to live with such pain, because you cannot avoid using your feet.

I need surgery on my foot and ankle, but its not necessarily orthopedic, its doctors in general....

Mooch

Oh well I cant say I blame you there..I must have missed the other notify from you in all the discussions, I am sure I will get to it after weeding through 2000 emails LOL Mooch! xo
So sorry about your poor ankle and foot dear..((((Mooch))))
I will be thinking of you and sending healing wishes..try to relax with the surgeon and I hope you get a good one! xo

I had a wonderful ob/gyn for my hysterectomy, and it took place at a very nice small clinic. My husband said it was a five star hotel that masqueraded as a surgical facility. I have been pretty fortunate, except when I was first married and had to see a Navy doctor at a clinic, and he obviously resented have the walk up ER hours. I also said one thing and read as the corpsman wrote HIS interpretation of what I was saying. That was then, and this is now, though, so I am mostly happy with the doctors I see.

OMG how awful! Why would he not numb the area first?
I also hope you never have to go through anything like that again. And if you do have to have somethign like that done again (but I hope you don't) perhaps you can find a more compassionate doctor.
When they tried to do that nerve block that I wrote about before, they went in through my neck (needle though my throat) and also told me not to swallow. You are right, you can't NOT swallow in that situation when you are scared.

Hi MSV,
He said he could not numb the area first because it interfers with results.
I felt like interferring with him, beleive me.