Severed Intimacy

~ Severed Intimacy~


My dear jilted friend,

I have just read your lament, and am I so sorry to hear that you have lost your DH to the seductress Ms Stihl String-trimmer. However, things could be much worse ... at least his current affair is happening in the front yard where you can keep an eye on him (though I am sure all your nosey and gossiping neighbors are watching too) I say worse, because what the Sisters Stihl are most famous for ... is luring men, many of them caring and loving husbands, away from their homes and families and into the woods. Deep into the woods. Far, far away from your watchful and caring eye.

Men have been known to take-off for an entire day, or worse, disappear into the woods for whole weekends, with the far more experienced, and demented, older sister of Ms Stihl the String-trimmer. Yes, Ms Stihl de la Chainsaw, is a much more formable opponent to a suburban wife.

Ms Stihl de la Chainsaw is much more driven than her younger sister who prefers lurking in middle-class suburban neighborhoods. She is both has a keen and cutting sense of humor, and a high energy level. She lives for having men grasp her tightly with both hands and then press her firmly against a thick woody trunk as she screams in total delight ... she likes it rough in the wilds!

In fact, she can even be a Black Widow, some husbands never return home from a wild weekend in the woods with this Stihl sister. Many others have returned home to their families, but damaged, disfigured, often just empty shells of their former selves, missing, fingers, toes, even whole appendages that Ms Stihl had delighted in chewing off during their wickedly intimate affair.

So my friends, keep a close eye on your husbands, especially when venturing into hardware stores and home and garden centers. The Stihl Temptresses are very exclusive mistresses, they do not hang out in the pedestrian aisles of big-box chain stores, no Lowes-Lifes or Home Despots for these alluring Yard and Wood Nymphs. No, you best keep your hubby away from the small, personal, individual proprietorships in your town that arrange these nefarious meetings of husbands with the home-wrecking Stihl Sisters!

Cheers!