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myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting2 years ago

Parents, if you could do it all over again, would you still decide to have kids?

I'm asking because my daughter is out of the country for several weeks (with her dad), so I'm getting an extended taste at what it would be like to be completely unattached!

I do like the fact that my house is staying clean and I'm actually getting to work on time because I don't have anyone to argue with in the morning.

But I miss her terribly. I suppose if I never had kids, I wouldn't know the difference.

I've always said that if I could do it over, I would not have had any kids. But now I think I'm changing my mind.

 
 
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dpk262006 (9142) response was accepted on 5/19/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  kids, kid, having kids, single, being alone
 
1. kemmerlin6 (56)   ranked 9,696 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

Sometimes I think about what I could be doing or where I could have went had I not had children...But then I remind myself that I wouldn't have become the person I am today. Who knows what kind of values or motivation I would have. Today, I do things because of my children. They are the reason I accomplish things and move forward. They are why I strive for something better. I don't know that I would have that if it weren't for them. I know I might have traveled and things like that...but I can always do that later on down the road anyways. I started young and missed out on a lot, but I wouldnt change it for the world.


myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

I was also young when I started. I had my first at age 16 and my second at age 19, so I would have been 38 when they were out of school. I figured I could wait til them to do all my world traveling and such.

Then I got remarried to a guy who didn't have any kids and I agreed to have one more! So at age 37, just when I should have been getting my freedom back, I became a mom again!

Definitely no regrets though! Now I'll just wait til I'm retired to do all my traveling!


myLot reputation of 92/100. mommyboo (3440)   ranked 174 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

I wish I had been that young when I started!! I told my mommy that I wanted to be a mommy just like her when I was around four or five. I was 28 when I FINALLY had my daughter. I'm not really a young mommy any more, but because my husband's kids are older, I have the joy of teenagers, high school, part time jobs, driver's ed, and graduation. There are pros and cons to having kids young or having kids old - when you're very young you're less likely to have a good savings, a home, and a lot of experience and comforts to offer your child. Problem is, when you're a lot older than average, you may have a home and money set aside for retirement and college and all that stuff, but you don't have energy and it's harder to do all those things you multitask so easily with when you're in your 20s. However, the younger parents also have the kids grow up and move away - when they are still young! Older parents had some time to themselves without kids BEFORE the kids. It's a tossup as to what's better, it depends how you manage it.

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2. myLot reputation of 95/100. kezabelle (2676)   ranked 409 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

Thats difficult id miss them if they werent here but if I didnt have them I wouldnt have anything to miss. I would without a doubt have them id live my life over and over and every time i would choose to have them.

Today they have been awful pretty much fighting shouting but even then I can sit here and say I wouldnt not have them if i lived my life over again.


myLot reputation of 92/100. mommyboo (3440)   ranked 174 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

If I didn't have my daughter (my youngest) I would definitely still miss it... I tried and tried to get pregnant for years before her. Somebody controlling the timing understood that my ex would have been a BAD parent, so that's why it took so long=)

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3. AnnikaM (25)   2 years ago

That's a good question and hard to answer if you don't have kids. I think it depends on the person, because I know a few women who never had kids and now they are too old. One friends regrets it terribly and the other doesn't. Stay busy and she'll be back before you know it!

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4. myLot reputation of 94/100. magikrose (4951)   ranked 241 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

Like you I wonder what it would be like to have not had kids but then I realise all the joy and happiness they have brought me and then I look at my kids and know without a doubt that I made the right decission. On those days that it feels like nothing can go right I have to give myself a time out and reflect on what isgoing on and think things through. Then I can go back out with a calm mannor and get through the rest of my day in a positive way and in the end we always have an pleasant calm night.

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5. myLot reputation of 96/100. luvstochat (6679)   ranked 1,127 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

I would never not have kids if I had to do it all over again I would feel like my life was empty if I didn't have any children.
I will admit my kids get on my nerves so much sometimes I threaten to give them up for adoption but I don't really mean it I love them with all of my heart and without kids that means no grankids and you have to have grandkids to spoil.


myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

Oh definitely! I'm a grandma and it's way more fun than being a parent. I can spoil her and then send her home for her parents to deal with! hahaha

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6. myLot reputation of 96/100. Shawchert (776)   ranked 1,670 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

This is something hard to think about.

I have always wanted to be a mother but I wish that things would have been in different circumstances. If i could do it all over again though I would. My son is worth every bit of my time.
:)

And if i could do it again, maybe, I'm not sure how i can deal with taking care of 2 children lol.

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7. myLot reputation of 100/100. joyce959 (1279)   ranked 918 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

I would still prefer to have my kids, no matter how hard it is to take care of them, bring them up, and provide for a lot of things for them. Sometimes I also wish I am alone, but then it is so boring when kids are not around.


myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

Plus, having kids gives you a reason to play with toys and act like a kid again! It definitely is boring without them around. I'm feeling that way today!

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8. myLot reputation of 93/100. teena22 (203)   2 years ago

no matter how hard parenting is...i will always choose to be a parent. kids are gifts from God.


myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

Kids most definitely are gifts from God. But a lot of days, (when dealing with mine) I have to remind myself that God would never give me more than I can handle!

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9. myLot reputation of 93/100. lady11eve (152)   ranked 1,700 out of 14,955 in parenting   2 years ago

this is easy for me to answer...
when im still single...i always wanted to have a baby,always planning what to do to take care of her the best i can...
i love kids eversince that it breaks my heart evertime i saw streets kids,dirty and looks starving on streets,couldnt imagine how could ther parents let them to be like that.
so when i was blessed with my lovely baby girl last june 15 2005,i embraced all the advantage and disadvantage of having a kid.and i dont wanna go back to the time i dont have her yet,few minutes im away from her,i think of her already as if wer away for years.
im so inlove of her that i couldnt imagine my life without her.
i can live without her dad,and its becos of her...and now i still wanna have kids so atleast she would enjoy the life of being a sister...

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10. amy_loves_darryn (2)   2 years ago

i read this and started to cry because i just had a miscarriage in febuary and the best thing some one can do is bring a baby in this world and love it uncomdiyionally and not feel one ounce of pain


myLot reputation of 86/100. leeesa (742)   ranked 231 out of 14,955 in parenting  2 years ago

I am very sorry for your loss. I also suffered a miscarriage, so I understand your pain. I hope you didn't misunderstand my post. I love my kids very much and I don't regret having them one bit. They are my life and I would die for them. All I was saying is that I used to think that if I had a do-over, I wouldn't have kids, but after this separation, I have changed my mind because I realized that my kids are my life. Best of luck to you and may you have many beautiful babies in the future.

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