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How Do You Know It's For Real? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love2 years ago

I was married twice and in a relationship for 3 years and looking back I am not sure that I was ever really in love with any of them. How do you know that you are really in love? How can you be sure that the one you have chosen is the one you want to be with the rest of your life and not just someone to be with for a while until someone else comes along? Is there some way that you know or do you just KNOW?

 
 
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aowaow (1097) response was accepted on 5/25/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  love, marriage, in love, the right one, love is real
 
1. myLot reputation of 92/100. learn2earn (11105)   ranked 705 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

I am not an expert on relationships but please allow me to give my own opinion on the matter. I think a person can know that he is really in love to someone when he is willing to give his life for the sake of love. It has been the best kind of love. It is demonstrated by God when He said to man, "I love you". He proved it by sending himself to become a man and die for the penalty of mankind's sin. Rose from the grave that whosoever believe and trust Him will have eternal life. Oh what true love this is!


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Thank you for the comment. I recently had someone tell me that Jesus died for us, along the same lines.

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2. angelgiirl (3)   ranked 7,522 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

hey

I know I love him Iám whit I can not be away from him several days
and I never go anywhere without him

so I can say Iám i love whit him after 7 years and my love for him is still grows


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

That is terrific..........that is about how long each of my marriages lasted. The family teased that I had "the seven year itch", which had nothing to do with either of my divorces. I hope that it continues to grow for you and you are happy forever!!

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3. myLot reputation of 86/100. wittyakanksha (387)   ranked 3,133 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

i think you have the answer to the same question you asked.when one is in love you know how it is different from the other relationships you have had in your life earlier.you know it's love when all you care in the world is to be with that person and to see him happy.his success spells success for you and his happiness is happiness for you.it is the look and the feeling in your tummy that makes you realize that it is love and it is for real.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Thank you for the response. I thought I had that 2 different times but it turned out not to be. Does the love go away or does the infatuation with each other just fade and not be what you thought it was?

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4. myLot reputation of 91/100. aowaow (1097)   ranked 511 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

There will be no fixed price in a relationship. Because all things have the bad and good side. No matter you find the edge of the world, you'll never find the person who is a 'chosen' one. "Better"-one suits for the argument.

A piece of advice:
Maybe you will need to stop comparing your ex with the next one. It's bad. Comparison means giving value equally on both subject. Once it's the turn to value on this person's weaknesses, that will give a chance to conflict, because we compare from the best criteria in our ex.

Forgot your past, and think that your new partner will be the-one-and-the-last. No matter how good or bad, it will always be your choice. Making several failed relationship will scare your emotional away. Lately, you'll stop totally. But on the contrary, we realize about relationship's dilemma, just patiently to face it. Because anything including love does has its own phase of wax-and-wane condition. One of the sample is like in the work, sometimes we love to do the job, but sometimes it's the boring time. But you still do for the work, right?

Life is expecting us to accept both side for making a relationship. Because if we only want the sweet side, then who wants the bitter phase. This relationship will be most likely failed. Because each of them harvest the fruit, but none was watering the tree. Lately the tree (relationship) will be dry, no more fruit, the relationship will start to fall.

Lastly, actually no matter how many relationship we have, it doesn't always mean it will give us the better result. Even if it's, but newer problem, where it never appeared in our past relationship, will arrive. New love means new personality, new field of emotional adaption, and new treatment to the relationship.

From happy to fetch for the unhappy, from unhappy to solve for the happiness.
Both are natural and always attached in our life.
Preserve always your relationship.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Thank you very much for your comments. I try to never compare anyone I am with because that is not fair and I do agree that each has to be a fresh start. Unfortunately, each ended! But it does make it difficult to be open and trusting with the next person who comes along.

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5. myLot reputation of 97/100. danishcanadian (20754)   ranked 1,525 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

I knew that my husband and I were meant to be, because when the sh!t hit the fan, we were there for eachother. We did all the "for better or worse" stuff BEFORE the wedding, and we survived. He's also as crazy as I am.

Go ahead and look him up. His mylot user name is vladilyich


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Thank you for the response. I've heard that you are both a little crazy. Or maybe just crazy.......without the little in it!! Thanks, friend!! Glad you 2 are so happy. I am still jealous..........but happy for you too.

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6. myLot reputation of 99/100. ladym33 (5697)   ranked 147 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

When I fell in love with my husband I knew it. I had never felt that way before. It was the first time in my life that I felt protective over someone. I wanted to protect his heart, and everything about him. I wanted to be all things to him and though I had hurt a lot of other guys before him, I knew I could never do that to him. I also felt safe and loved and return. Nobody ever made me feal so secure and loved. I suppose it is different for everyone, but that is how I knew. We have been together almost 23 years.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

WOW! That is great and what I wish I had found from the get-go. My brother and his wife are like that and have been together over 30 years with 3 sons. They have been through a bunch of stuff together and yet still can act like newlyweds. I have always wished that it would happen to me one day..........sigh.....Thanks for the response.

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7. myLot reputation of 95/100. giePortlandOR_08 (3894)   ranked 672 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

I think the only person that can answer your question is yourself because this thing involve about your feelings.Nobody knows about this except yourself.I guess no matter how innocent a person is when it comes to love he/she knows about it.When heart beat for someone i guess thats it.However there are times that we thought it was love but its not but yourself could figure out which one is really a real onewink.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Thanks for the response. I'm not sure that I can trust my own heart, to be honest. But I know that I have never met THE ONE but have probably settled because I didn't want to wait for someone else to come along. I think in my first marriage, looking back, I was in love with the idea of being in love and it was terrible from the beginning!!


myLot reputation of 95/100. giePortlandOR_08 (3894)   ranked 672 out of 11,899 in love  2 years ago

Lets just say the right person didn't come yet and when it comes you will know thats the real one because thats what you feel.

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8. myLot reputation of 98/100. Cannonball (1130)   ranked 180 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

It's a bit hard to explain love but I guess when a couple decide to live life together they certainly must have great feelings for each other.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  1 year ago

Having great feelings and being in love aren't necessarily the same. Sometimes great friends could live together and not be in love. They might even sleep together and it not be love.

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9. myLot reputation of 97/100. gtdonna (1070)   ranked 2,894 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

In my opinion, I would say, I know that it is truly love if a person wants to wake up in the morning to the other face, their smile brings a smile to your face. You are motivated to do your best when you think about them and what they bring into your life. There is a feeling deep inside that only that person gives you when you hear their voice, when they caress you, when someoen else say their name...everyone has a different experience however.

Love is a feeling you feel that you've neevr felt before!


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  1 year ago

I like this answer. I think that when it happens someone must just know it but I thought I knew it before. When the relationship ends, though I am not so sure that that is what is was!! Maybe that is just falling in and then out of love??

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10. myLot reputation of 86/100. liperoterachel (10154)   ranked 1,430 out of 11,899 in love   2 years ago

This is a very hard question! Hmm. It just hits you. When you have feelings for a certain person. Then soon, you start thinking about her/him all the time!

Love isn't just the feeling. When you know that you can commit your life to this person and love him and stick with him even when he's making you so mad, you're gonna pull hairs outta your head.


myLot reputation of 98/100. idowrite72 (1609)   ranked 1,130 out of 11,899 in love  1 year ago

Sounds like someone who has been there! I thought I had been there but I sure am not anymore. So it must be possible to fall out of love, too. Or maybe it wears off sometimes?? Or you still love someone even when you can't stand him? lol

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