Crystal Comes To Town-A Love Story (Part Two)

(This is the continuation of an earlier post that was too long to do as a single discussion.)

TEACHER, TEACHER
Within days of my "retirement" a county wide sweep is initiated that results in 10 labs being busted. Included in these was one about a mile down the road from my house.

One thing I hadn't really considered; I was using a lot of meth. Having to pay regular price was quickly becoming a drag. So I became a teacher. I had a reputation as a great "cook"; people started coming to me asking me to help them. This was an even better deal for me; now, I'm not paying for any ingredients and I'm not having to worry about my house getting raided.

I give lessons to many people; they're all more than happy to pay my "fee" (usually half of their finished product.) Some are even paying me just to cook it for them; they don't want to (or are scared to) do it themselves. I've split with my wife during all this; my new "old" lady is a girl 16 years younger than me. (Surely it's not the dope.)

Let's move forward a little. I've since started working out in the oilfield. I'm still using daily and helping people 3-4 times a week. In September of 2000, my girlfriend gives birth to my son, David Michael. Once again, luck has smiled at me; even though his mother and I were using the whole time she was pregnant with him, he comes out healthy. Proud Papa! He wasn't underweight or anything; he was (and still is) perfect. I don't trust anyone to watch my son; all my friends are meth-freaks; (funny how I never thought I was one too) so David goes everywhere with us. Even when he shouldn't be there. I sit here and think about this now, and it's just a miracle that nothing bad ever happened to him.

I really don't like putting this part down. My son was there by my side at all hours of the day and night as I was using this shite. And I never once thought about what it could have done to him. My first love was still Crystal.


THE SONG REMAINS INSANE
My girlfriend and I marry in December of 2000. I'm very much in love. 40 years old and finally getting the family I always wanted. Of course, things are never what they seem.In February of 2001 she becomes pregnant again. We get lucky once more; a beautiful baby girl, Kelsey Rose, is born in October of that year. So I have my complete family-including Crystal. Misty (my wife) and I talk occasionally about giving up crank; it's often a discussion among many of our friends; but it's never more than talk.

I'm still in the oilfield; we've cut down considerably on our usage. It's more or less down to a gram, maybe a gram and a half a week. I'm not cooking again; we simply buy pills and trade them for product.

On weekends, rather than haul two children with us, we begin going out separately. I stay home Friday nights while she goes to visit friends; she stays home Saturday while I go out. It works well; I love my time alone with the babies, and she gets a break. Of course, I never worry about her cheating or anything; we love each other too much. But we both love Crystal; and some people will do anything to spend time with her.

In September of 2002 I lose part of a finger in an accident at work. I'll be drawing Comp pay for the next two months. I stay home most days and evenings with the kids while Misty runs around. I'm still not worried; I know she loves me.

In November, I go back to work for 1 week and get fired because I can no longer do my job properly. The finger is healing, but anytime I bump it a sharp pain shoots through my hand. I can't grasp any tools or anything.

December 25, Christmas Day. That evening, Misty says she wants to go see a friend for a few hours. No problem.

December 26. Today is our second wedding anniversary. Misty never came home from the previous evening.

She returns on the 27th. I asked her where she was, the car had "broke down" in another town we both hang in. I think it's possible. I decide to go visit a few people; I find out no, the car wasn't broke down. She had spent the last two nights at a motel with my best friend. He has plenty of dope.

I won't go into all the sordid details, but I am in love; I'm determined to make this work out.


NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
Not the greatest way to start off the year. Misty and I talk, and decide we'll try to work things out. We both know the drugs have a lot to do with our trouble; so we take an extreme measure. At the end of February 2003 we pulled up stakes and moved to a town where we knew no one to start over.

At first all was fine. She got work in a special needs home and I became Mr Mom. This actually worked okay; I've always loved kids, and she's not the most maternal person. Crystal is still hanging with us; we've figured out we can buy $120 worth of pills, trade for 6 grams, sell a couple to get our money back and still have 4 left. It's really beginning to show that we really don't have anything in common other than a love of crank and two children.

I still think I love her, but am starting to think that maybe I was just in love with the idea of having the "perfect" family, and am starting to realize this isn't it. Still, we have the kids; I'll keep it going as long as I can.

August of the same year, and everything goes to hell quickly. We're at a friends house, someone we'd met a few months ago. He wanted to buy some stuff from us. I still don't know why this happened, but the Police show up at his door. He lets them in, and they start talking. Next thing I know, I'm asked to stand up and an officer pats me down and finds 2 grams on me. I'm taken off to jail. Two days later I convince the judge to release me so I can go home; I tell him that Misty works nights, and with no one to watch the kids, she'll lose her job. I hadn't been able to get hold of her since I was arrested; I didn't know what had happened to her and our friend. Turns out; nothing. I was the only one arrested; he and she told the police they knew nothing about it. Of course, the 3 grams we had at the house are gone.

So it's down to the wire. We decide we're done with it. And the fights begin. After two months of screaming and yelling, she says she wants me to leave. I refuse; she goes and gets a restraining order and has me removed (she told the judge I was becoming violent; she didn't tell him she had slapped me and I slapped her back.)

So now, I'm homeless in a town I really have no friends in. The only choice for me was to go back to my hometown, and the only place I could stay there was with my old buddies. So I'm cooking again.


TIME MARCHES ON
I'm going to condense this section. From October of 2003 until May of 2006 is pretty much a blur. I never knew I could actually get more involved in this than I ever was, but somehow I did. With no relationship to tie me down, Crystal and I had only each other. During this period, it's not uncommon to find that all the sudden I realize I've been up for 7 or 8 days non stop. This is a period where there is no such thing as excess. Batten down the hatches and balls to the wall, I really don't care what happens. I was obsessed with suicide and death; I felt I was worthless, and my only comfort was in doing more and more and more!

And then one morning I woke up. I was 130 pounds, most of my teeth gone, living in an abandoned house. And the first thought that went through my head was "Michael, what the phuque are you doing?" And I couldn't answer myself. I knew one person that I considered a friend that didn't do crank or anything else. I went to his house and started talking. I talked for hours. He could see I was trying to find a way out, so he let me move into his RV.

Cold turkey. I quit going anywhere, because I knew I had to stay away or I wouldn't make it through the summer. The first 6 months were the hardest; everyday I'd want to give up, but I had something to keep me going. I have two children that have forgotten what their Father looks like. David is now almost 8 years old, and Kelsey almost 7. I haven't seen them for 5 years.

I've been clean a little over two years now. I still don't go see any of my old friends. I did bump into one at Wal-Mart the other day; he looked almost as healthy as me. I don't know why he stopped, but at least it gives me hope. I'm not the only one.

I look back on the last ten years, and I don't know who that person was. I can't explain it; you could call it a miracle if you're so inclined. I don't know. All I know is I came out the other side alive, and I plan on staying that way for a long time. I have two children to find and tell them I love them.

I wish I could say there's a miracle cure for addiction. There isn't. An addict can only cure them self or kill them self. 95% will probably die. I had friends sent to prison for 20 years; I had friends OD; I had friends blow themselves up, all trying to hang with Crystal. That little b!tch.


For those of you addicted, or those of you who know and love an addict: there is hope. It's not an easy road, but it can be beaten. I wish all of you the best.