19 Years Old, Parents Not Allowing My Girlfriend To Sleep Over

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Learning more about your parents, I can see that they don't want you or your girlfriend to walk down the same path (or that is what I think it could be). For you, it can be frustrating because you are an adult. All I can say from here is to hang in there. One day before you know it, you will be with your girlfriend in the same bed. May be best to concentrate on careers and may be even travel around the world if you can.

Ok thank you for your help

Dhicks2008 both your parent and your girl friend's parents probably aren't judging you because of you but because they have been there and done that and know the consequences better than you think they do.

thank you very much for your comments, all taken in and thank you

Well said. No matter how old we grow, we are still parent's baby:-)

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thank you very much for your comment,cheers very much

Hi, yes i suppose that is very true, it is up to them i guess until i can move out. But i wont be able to for years to come.:(, I just wish they would treat us both like adults and not like animals that cant be left in a room together.

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Adults have jobs and a house of their own.

Yes they do, bout time i got my own house lol. cheers

Yep, sorry but I agree that just because something is likely doesn't mean it will happen. I did have*opportunities* to sleep with boyfriends as a teen and I turned them down lol.

I have to repeat again for the original poster - start working toward the goal of moving out. If things have no chance of compromise while you live with your parents, face the fact that moving out will be the only answer. I know that I NEVER would have been able to have a boyfriend over at my house, my dad would have had a fit and attempted to bbq him. I am serious. As things stand now, I am old, much older than you, and things are still weird with my dad. My husband and I will be visiting in the fall with our daughter and I've had friends ask me why we don't stay with them=) I like having my own private space for my husband and I to unwind, the last thing I would want would be my dad making any comments about 'his house' etc so we're getting a hotel. To share a little more, my older daughter is 18 and she moved away to another state, she has a boyfriend and they are living together. If she comes to visit and brings him, I will not have an issue with them staying with us. I don't want to know what goes on, but Im sure they don't want to think about what we do in our room either lol.

LOL thank you for your comments, they help alot. Cheers:D

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I am not doubting that it is genuine love, but if you want to be together and do what you want, when you want to why haven't you gotten married and provided the things that you need. If you parents have allowed this in the past, I would want to know why them and not you. Are they too grown and just hanging out at your parents? Why havent your adult siblings moved on? I'm wondering what part of the world that you are from and whether or not its a cultural thing? I just don't see parents agreeing to allow their non-married kids at any age to sleep around. Remember that my comment is that of a mother. I have been your age a long time ago, but when I felt like I wanted to live as a couple then I moved out on my own and never thought about asking my parents to facilitate my adult sleepovers.

Hi ty for replying. Ok well first of all we are still at college and we want to marry properly which requires a fair bit of cash. We are living with parents as we cant really afford to move out. My older brothers have moved out and live good lives. I am from the UK and no its not a cultural thing, all my friends are able to stay with their gf's no questions asked and no problems. Maybe i must just wait to move out.

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Let me guess, you completely missed the point of what I said?

I said it was offensive to accuse them/people that sharing a bed is automatically "sleeping around". I didn't disagree with anything you said, except for the accusation. Chill out.

thank you for being supportive my friend, cheers

I agree with gloomcookie, that would not be 'sleeping around'. I think maybe the term was what came across as offensive, sleeping around to most people means that you are NOT in a monogamous relationship. Our poster here has been in a 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, so while his parents don't want to facilitate him sleeping with his girlfriend - which he said was not the prime purpose of his request - it's not like he is going around getting angry because he wants to bring prostitutes or a string of girlfriends into his parents house and they won't let him.

I realize this is sounding silly but I'm trying to illustrate why what was said was taken offensively. It wasn't your opinion at all, it was the word(s) used.

As far as the other things, I AGREE that the poster needs to make a plan to move out. I have been there, well not as far as wanting to have my boyfriend stay over at my parents' house, but I wanted my own personal freedom, so I spent some time putting away money, purchasing a car, buying and storing what I would need for my own place, and then I left my parents' house. I think this is the natural progression for kids and I am constantly stumped at the grown kids who continue to live with their parents. I 'get' that maybe it's easy because they don't have bills (if the parents are that kind) but I'd rather be free than have it easy. Easy is a term of perception, not having my freedom would never be considered easy to me.

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Wow, sorry i can't help then. Your parents must be harsh.

My parents don't understand me either in a way, specially my mother.

The only thing that makes me happy while i live here is knowing i can spend time cuddled up to my boyfriend, who does understand me.

I think you two should scrap together some money and atleast try to move out. At the end of the day, its not your girlfriends parents choice so there should be nothing stopping her.

Harsh parents need harsh actions.

thank you very much for commenting, greatly appreciated

Ahh. I bet they didn't much care about the holiday, the gist of the problem is that they just don't want the possibility of anything 'under their roof'. I don't think they will change, I know a lot of people from that generation, the one before, etc feel this way. They are authoriative and things are their way or no way. Honestly the best way to handle it is to get out on your own. Then they no longer have any say over what you do, when you do it, why you do it, etc. I mean they can gripe about it when they see you and you can just say 'have a nice day mom'. While they should mind their own business already because you're 19 (18 is legal adult there too?) because you're still living with them, they are going to continue to press their own agenda till you move. I'm sorry, it's not fair but it IS their house. My suggestion to younger people (under 18) who are facing circumstances at home that are not going to be resolved is usually emancipation - legally becoming independent so they are no longer considered minors and their parents don't have a say in what they do any more. With something like this comes responsibility though, a minor who did something like this would need to have a source of income they could live on, money saved, and be able to get around, go to school and work, etc reliably before it would be a good idea.

Ty for your comment. Yes maybe, her parents make us sit in the conservatory after 4 years! im not even allowed to watch tv in her room. its getting sad now, ive been with her a long time and they just wont allow anything, they should give us space but they dont. its so annoying and it makes me mad that no one will understand. If i was going to get her pregnant then i would of already lol, i mean parents know we are doing it so after 4 years im sure they know that one night will not mean pregnancy.

Thank you very much for your reply.

Ty for your comment. spare the cuddling for our wedding night lol. Ok i will just wait 10 years to be close with her not. lol. I mean you dont have to be married to cuddle with someone,well at least i shouldt have to be. Well she will not get pregnant as i am not stupid. We just want to be closer and i guess progress.

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very~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

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ok thank you for your comment, i guess you are right, but how is it that everyone my age feels the same way and their parents are fine with it all. Well thank you all for your help and advice.

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Thank you for your advice and thoughts

Goretz, as a girl myself I've always figured the wisest thing is to set yourself up to be independent. I married the first time at 22 but I lived on my own for two years be