What will my most favorite birthday gift be? Its my birthday!

That's really cool, the 22nd, 23rd and 24th! I have to admit I'm a bit selfish with birthdays because most of my family has a July Birthday, but its cool to have that special extended time to celebrate!

Thanks Minnie!

That would be ideal, I think.

Thanks Howard!

PS. I hope you got something with babysitting/child care worked out. I haven't seen you so figure you're taking advantage of the summer with your little sweetheart before classes start again.

ARG! That babysitting thing is a real mess. Here's that update...

They asked me to do the 5 day a week thing for a little while, and I agreed, then they asked if I would give them a little discount, and I agreed, then they told me the hubby's son was coming to saty with them again, and asked if i would watch the kids while he was here, and right as I was about to chime in about that costing them more (he's 10) they told me that they would be deducting from my pay for nights that Kate is at their place--which is one night that I'm in school, that THEY suggested as a favor to me, since I'm providing in home childcare for them at much, much lower rates than a non-friend would charge. And the rate they are deducting is the rate they pay me for one of their two children. They do not think I should get more for coming in early, or satying late unless its more than 4 hours in one day (NOT cumulative) or more for the stepson, or more for bring in groceries for the kids. What they are trying to pay me is 50% less than a private nanny that they'd have to take their kids to and pick up from, plus provide meals or pay an upcharge. My family does not need the income, so from the get go, I was doing a favor. I never asked for more money for late nights or early mornings, and always gave a discount when they needed me for extra days at the last minute. I was trying to help out my friends who had money and day care issues, and since they were paying me something, they didn't see a favor.

I had a sitter for my school nights, that would come to my house and let Kate sleep in her own bed, and I was more than willing to pay that person my own fee for that, because that's a lot to ask, but since this family talked me into letting Kate sleepover on nights I'd be there is the morning anyway, I told my person I didn't need them. They watched her three times (one overnight) before dropping on me that they'd be taking deductions for it. And, the kicker, is that my pay check was already written out before they discussed it with me, and when I objected, they didn't budge. Wouldn't even take into consideration that the night I let her spend the night (again, with my objection) I called ahead and said, "I jsut hate imposing on you guys like this, I'm picking up Papa John's for you guys, what do you want?" And they let me bring over $30 worth of pizza plus groceries for the girls' lunch for the week.

I guess it wasn't the freidship I thought it was. I'm not going to let them walk on me like that, ya know?

PS-Avatar? I thought I was talking to someone else at first! LOL

Oh, what a mess and I'm sorry. I don't know what to say other than I've tried "friends" too with my children and it never worked out. I feel as you do, you're getting walked over by them. I'm sorry. I hope you can find something different for Kate without having the stressors of straining your friendship with these people even more. If you start suggesting that the groceries are compensation for keeping her that one night a week, I can see problems. I can't believe they just wrote the check out and that was that. Time to keep looking? Schools no picnic, why add another stress of the situations. I hope you find something before there isn't any friendship involved with this people anymore.

Ha, ha, yes several have been alittle confused. This avatar was given to me and I'm keeping it warm until a friend returns.

I really should have outlined all the stuff that was expected of me when I started. The original deal was two days a week, 9:30-5:00, 5:30 at the lastest plus meals for me and Kate. I'm a pciky eater and I monitor Kate's diet for junk, so I wasn't just going to eat whatever was onhand, so they paid me $10 more to bring food for BOTH older girls and myself for those days, which turned into all three meals a day. Then, the mom started working later and later, and when the dad was out of town for weeks at a time, I'd have to come there at 7:30AM. And they paid me less for it, not more, which I understood--as a friend.

I just wish they would not have acted like they were doing me a favor when they talked me into letting Kate come over on those nights. I wish they would have been honest with me from the start about the charge they were planning on imposing. When I protested, the mom told me she thought it was fair because she's tried when she gets off work. I told her I was tired from waking up earlier than normal to come over and when I'm at their house for 10 and a half hours on her late nights, knowing I can't leave and run errands, that I'm gonna be picking up fast food for dinner, and that she's not going to compensate me for being late with anything other than an, 'I'm sorry.' She didn't budge. Then, I asked her if she would be paying me the same if I told her she had to start bringing the girls to my house, and she said no, she wouldn't. She didn't see the logic in the value of my time versus her time, or my gas money vs. her's. It makes me really sad, because I genuinely like her as a freind, and I don't think the friendship will recover unless I jsut give in, which is not happening.

Sorry to unload on ya, L.:)

Wow, double wow. I don't see this friendship recovering either. It's like she's putting move value on her needs than yours and you are the one that is bending over backwards here. I'm sorry. I don't want to add to your frustrations here. I sincerely wish you find another arrangement because I honestly believe this is going to fester into something else. For your own sake I would say that is the best thing. I can't see remaining friends when the consideration doesn't go both ways. Sorry, just my input.

You can unload anytime you want to. I've got some pretty good shoulders. Sorry for the confusion on avatar's too, I've changed back to me so no more confusion.

I hope you find another alternative soon, because I don't think this arrangement is going in a positive direction for you.

Thank you Lovely Laura!

Hey Katesmama,
Sorry to intrude on a private conversation.
But I had no idea of the things you've had to face
at your nanny job.

And I'm sorry to hear about it.

As for the other famiy you were being a nanny for that
does sound like typical behavior.

Rich people often consider themselves to be better
than everyone else, anyway. And even though they don't
probably need a discount, they probably squeezed every
bit of work out of you for no pay.

I used to be in a services business and the rich customers
were always that way. They have the money and can afford
to pay top dollar but they are too cheap to do that
and expect so much more! And they don't want to pay.
It's typical.

And I know that you and your guy are really doing fine
financially and are not poor.

That's not what I'm saying.
But sounds like SHE thinks that her family is richer than yours
and she thinks SHE is doing you a favor. And not the other way around.

As if you need a handout? That's silly! You don't need handouts
and you don't deserve to take that witch's abuse, either.

She was probably trying to see how much she could get you
to back down from the beginning. You know, how many freebies
she could get.

My customers used to do that to me too and then I'd
hand them a printed schedule of fees and point
to the list and if they didn't want to pay then they
could simply do without.

But you're right. Does sound like she thinks her time is
more valuable than hers.

Considering that you are going to school and being a full time
mom, your time is just as precious!

With your experience as a nanny couldn't you find a more
amenable position elsewhere (with better schedule and pay)
with people who won't lie to
you and end up making YOU pay for everything?

Best wishes that it all works out for you.
And you know that I am on YOUR side in this matter.

The whole situation just makes me mad that someone would
treat my best friend so shabbily!

Oh, yes, Beauty. While they make plenty of money between to two of them, they are dead broke. They have credit card debt that will keep their kids out of college and a house payment that is entirely beyond their means...and their last house was foreclosed on! I'm sure they thought I was the big beneficiary of araingement, but I cleared that up real quick in a hurry the other day. Here is what I'm really hoping for...

I will take a break from them for a bit and they can do whatever with the kids in the meantime. Then, they will come to their senses and ask me to come back, but I'll insisit on outlining terms first, before they ditch thier overpriced daycare, and we can either just keep it a business arraingment, or we can retain the friendship without further strain. Who knows, but either way, you are right, you know me, I don't need the grief or the cash. It was just frosting on top. Not that we're rolling in dough or anything, but we are excellent at living within our means and saving where possible. Plus being unmarried, I get a crap load of grant money for school, so if it was necessary for me to bring in money, I can use my school account.

Sounds like a plan!

It would be great, thanks, Book.

Thank you Mirita!

That is very sweet. For my birthday this year, I got a week of Katesdaddy being out of town. His job called yeasterday to ask him to go on a trip, and I helped him pack to go. He's never done anything for my birthday, so its best he's away.

That's a tall order my friend.

What's with the today? Feeling blue?

1-Thanks

2-Dieting, so I'll make the cake, Kate can blow out the candles and you can eat it

3-I'm definately going for dinner with my pint size best girl

4-I very rarely cook anyway

5-I'd rather not see Katesdaddy cleaning in the nude. Not that he is an unattarctive man. It would just be a day of hearing, "Where does this go? Why do you put this here not there? Can I throw this away? Do you even use this? Where did this come from? Don't you have enough shoes? When was the last time you cleaned here? Do you really need two of these? Why can't I use launder stain remover to clean the counters? Can't I use bathroom cleaner on the stove? Can you get me some water? My back hurts, can you rub it? I'm tired, I'll finish later."

So, if you find a hot man willing to clean my house naked, lemme know, and we can both watch while eating the cake, deal?:)

Ha- I wouldn't want to see my man cleaning in the nude either. He would get nothing done and would probably keep stopping at every mirror in the house to check out his physique.
I will search for another nude hot man to do your cleaning. He can also deliver the cake and then you can blow....out the candles!

Its my birthday, if anyone is blowing anything....oh, wait...you said candles. Nevermind.



:)

PARTY TIME!!!!!!

That's a heck of a Birthday gift! My Kate was concieved in the beginning of the month, and I have a video of me walking on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean that very day that I treasure.

I've never had a birthday party or gifts either. It makes it a sad say for me because I think people should be celebrated on their birthday-showered in love.

You tell me when your birthday is, I'll set it on the calander and provide showers for you, ok?

that makes me feel very special Katesmama! thanks much..

well my birthday is quite far from today..it will be on December 17...

well i didn't know i was pregnant when my birthday came...i just knew when i had my first check up with the OB, when they stated the exact date she was brought into life was Dec 17..its a good thing i never celebrate my birthday and i didn't have a drink that day coz i never knew i was pregnant...

I have it marked in my yahoo calendar, Angel.

I didn't know I was preggers on my B-day that year either, I took a trip and spent the whole trip partying and drinking. I felt terrible.