Abortion - My Experience.

Thank you AmbiePam.

I thought long and hard about posting this, because I know there are people who will say that I did the wrong thing. But the thing is, I know I did the wrong thing, I don't need to be told that.

However, if any young girl should find herself in the situation that I was in 15 years ago, I would advise her to really sit and think long and hard. There ARE options out there - taking a life isn't always the best answer.

I am pro choice. I do believe in a woman's right to choose. But I do also feel that abortion should not be used just because a woman was too careless to take precautions. After what happened to me 15 years ago, do I really have the right to say that Abortion should be made illegal?? No, I don't.

When the women or teens getting abortions have been raped or molested, I think that they are as innocent as the babies. It pains me though, to read of women who abort the children because of trivial things. I read an article about a woman who had an abortion because she was moving into a house with three flights of stairs. She didn't want to have to deal with being pregnant for nine months and dealing with the stairs. She was so cavalier. And she was the one writing the article. It wasn't hearsay, she was being blunt and open about it.

I agree that was so incredibly brave of you to post this knowing the things that some people may say to you, but I do thank you for doing so it has touched me to the point of bringing me to tears. This subject is so difficult to post about because it is so controversial, and I never knew that the woman responsible for legalizing this regretted it, that was interesting to hear. I don't think that it was intended to become what it has personally. I have always been so strongly against it, but maybe that is because the ones I hear about are always just irresponsibility in my opinion. I knew this one lady who cheated on her husband when he was overseas and continued the affair after he came home. The man was of a different race so when she found out she was pregnant she had an abortion because of the chance it was the other man's and her husband would find out since the baby would probably have different colored skin. That is when I get upset, but out of all the stories I have read this one didn't make me upset in terms of getting mad, but a little sad for you and the situation. I have always said this is one of the very few circumstances where I could understand it and I do. You have proven that to me with this story so thank you for showing me I can have a more open mind then I once thought. Best wishes to you and keep moving on and living your life and always smile.

I cannot even imagine being in the place of some people. The pain they go through, all of it, I admire their ability to go on and refuse to be a victim.

Ack! I wrote out this huge long response and my PC decided to die on me!

Anywho's, I've lived with this for 15 years now. I thought long and hard before posting it, because I know some people will disagree with what I did. However, they need to take into account the fact that I was just 15 at the time.

This man took a year of my life. There was no way I was going to give up and admit defeat. I stood up in court against him and testified against him, and had the satisfaction of seeing him being imprisoned for 4 years.

I posted this because I want others to know that even if something like this happens to them, there is hope, and a light at the end of the tunnel.

AmbiePam - I have approved, with pleasure, your friends request. And I want to tell you how much I loved seeing your post here to our favorite mini-angel! When I read the discussion, my gut reaction was 'Oh no sweetheart, your life is about to get ugly'. But seeing your first response and the love and support in it, took my fear away. Thank you for that, and for understanding.

Mini-angel - I hope you don't get flack from this, and that people learn something good from it. But I have your back if things get nasty. Love and admire you to bits!

I think a lot of us have her back. I like BC's attitude, and I would say it reflects my own in some way. If we say we do not believe in abortion, the we had darned well be ready to help those who are finding it to be their only choice. If you cannot live it, do not talk it.

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Mini-angel. Most times when I get a br I laugh out loud because so many of my comments are just off the cuff humor. But this one I am honored to receive. You got so many great responses here. I am flattered to bits you chose mine. I was talking to a friend the other day about this issue (abortion) and told her (without names) that there was only one discussion I had seen so far on the lot about this that DID NOT get jumped on by nasties and it was because of the perfect way it was written and presented. You done good kid, in all respects!

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's nice to know that someone else has said "Don't Worry, you did what you had to." Some people aren't quite so understanding.

It was a very dark period in my life, and at the time, it seemed there was no way out. I fought long and hard to come to the understanding that what happened wasn't my fault. Although I know this, the decision to have an abortion was mine, and that wasn't the right decision to make. I've carried the guilt around with me for a long time now. But, it's time to lay it to rest. I've paid my dues and I've earned the right to be at peace with the decision.

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Thank you Gemini.

I think deep down every one of us has a secret, something dark and terrible that has happened to them in their lives. Whether they share that with others or not is a different thing.

I couldn't tell the people around me, my family and friends. I didn't know how they'd react and when I started to think even more irrationally, I figured that nobody would believe me.

Without my friend and her mother and father, I would not be here now. They were there for me every single step of the way, and none of them ever condemned me for the choices I made. I ended up staying with my friend for a week in total after I left the Hospital. I needed space, and had my parents seen me at that point, they would have known something was wrong.

Living with the knowledge that I did make the wrong choice was terrible. The guilt overwhelmed me. However, I started having counseling and slowly but surely, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, 15 years later, I know I'm not to blame for being raped, I know I'm not going to Hell for the decision to have an abortion, and I know I'm strong enough to live my life.

And good for you, you have not let him win. I admire you the strength you have and I think that you will have a lovely happy life xx

Thank you Dragon. It was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the worst thing I have ever been through, and to have to endure that at 15 is unthinkable.

I never told my parents, although I wanted to. As the years went by, it got harder to do. In the end, I decided that no good would come from bringing up the whole thing, and so it has essentially been buried.

However, I did recently tell a Family friend, someone that I trust implicitly. She knew the man who'd raped me, and she was shocked when I told her everything. She remembered reading the story in the papers, but of course, I hadn't been named so she had no idea it was me.

She handled the news very well, and has promised that nobody will know. Her exact words to me were "I always thought you were special, now I know you are. Not many 15 year olds would have gotten through that kind of experience without their parents." She's very good at making me cry lol.

Thank you Loud.

I guess I'm not understanding why you had your discussion deleted. But, of course, we all have our reasons for talking, or not talking about certain things that happened in our lives, and I don't judge others for their actions.

I have sent you a friends request. If you would like to share your story with me, please do. But please don't feel as though you HAVE to. I know how hard it was to write about my experience, so that decision is entirely up to you.

Thank you Gerty.

I had a choice in all of this. I could let it eat me alive, or I could learn to deal with it and try to move on. I chose to try and move on. There are times when the memories do still overwhelm me, and at the weirdest times.

When I gave birth to my daughter 5 years later, I cried. But I cried for the child I got rid of. Having gone through the pain of labor and seeing this tiny bundle that depended on me for survival, made me feel extremely bad. Emotions tend to run riot at times.

However, I'm still here, and I'm still fighting. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me to know that people on here are willing to listen to me and then say "I support you"

Thank you.

Thank you Natrak.

Knowing that people who have never met me support me in this all these years later has really touched my heart.

I really do have my life. It's been a bumpy road, but I made it. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel helped me to focus, and when I made it, I truly felt at peace.

Thank you Grandma, for being honest. From your response I gather that you are pro life, and I admire your honesty in choosing not to share your view. There are always going to be people who are offended when someone doesn't agree with their decision, but you know what? We have a right to our opinion as much as they are. I'm not in a position to judge anyone for what they believe, nor would I want to.

Mylot is an easy place to vent and to tell all, and it's easy because we're not face to face with someone. Actually telling people face to face about my experience is something that I still cannot do without crying. Putting words down on a screen is much easier for me.

We are all faced with decisions in life, some are easier than others. God should be the only judge, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He has forgiven me for my actions 15 years ago. I am one of His children, and I know He would never turn His back on me.

Angel that is true what you say. God will never leave you! The bible says in Hebrews 13:5 I will never leave you nor forsake you. The one thing I love about God is that we can take Him at His word because He can not tell a lie. I love that!