Fixing a Marriage

Well, if you have turned to God, and asked for his forgiveness that is a beginning. What lead you into an affair? If you continue with the affair where is it going to lead to? Sorry to say, you may find yourself without your husband and the person you are having the affair with. Is there anyway you can reconcile your marriage. I know you said your husband said it could not be fixed, you have to understand that he is hurt about the betrayal.
An affair is something that is not easy to forgive or get past.
If you want your marriage to have a chance at reconcilation, you must break off the affair immediately.
Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel, and you are asking for his forgiveness, prove to him that you will not see this other person again.
Please do not turn to God, if you are going to continue with your infidelity, God should not be used to continue in what you are doing. God wants us all to follow his commandments.
I wish you luck, please think with your mind and not your heart, do the right thing.
I know you are feeling bad at this time, but it soon shall pass.
Good luck

I am not sure if how it started all... I mean the reasons why you commit to have an affair with other guy...If there's nothing wrong going on with your relationship with your husband, I think you really should be sorry for what you did. It is very painful on his part, and although you are doing some moves to make up for what you've done, still, your husband would have a second thoughts on you. But just continue showing that you really wanted to change, and make sure you do. Turning to God is the best thing that would help you today, just keep on praying on keep on showing also to your husband that you are that sincere. Tell him the very reason why you did it, it maybe that he has also some shortcomings on being a husband to you. It may take time to heal some broken hearts but just have some patience.

God Bless and Good luck!

Dont be depress. if one relationship stop then another will start. Its just a matter of time. If you are finacially strong and take good care of yours then come out of that place and start a new life. Dont look back into your past. Ith will only give pain. See your's coming future with full of happiness.

I agree that this must be a definite time of confusion for you. I think first you need to identify what you were searching for when you went outside of your marriage and why you could not find that with your husband. You can't begin to deal with your problem until you identify it.

Before you can ask your husband to forgive you, you have to forgive yourself and you can't really do that until you stop the affair. I'm sure its hard to give up the affair because whatever it was that you were looking for, you found. And the idea of now giving up and not knowing whether or not you can have that again with your husband.

You have to be patient with your husband as you have broken the trust that you had in your marriage. And sometimes its hard to gain that back especially when you have already checked out of the marriage, so to speak. Also its hard for him to begin the process as long as you are still in the affair. You have no choice but to get out of the affair and start working towards your marriage if that is truly what you want. I would work hard at trying to build that trust back up. You have to put what you say to your husband and your actions on the same page. Otherwise either is pointless.

You will also have to be prepared that you may end up losing both of these people because on some level the only needs and wants that you have managed to accomadate is yours.

It is very sad to hear about your situation. I sincerely would like you to be able to fix your marriage. But as you have said, you can't have both. You have to choose and let go of the other before you decide if you want to move on or go back to your husband.
But honestly, if I am in your husbands shoe, it will be a 99 percent chance that I would take you back. It is just my sentiment and I hope you don't mind me saying that. If the scenario is that you made a mistake of going out with another man and it was a one time thing, it could be understandable. But having it to last 5 months, then something is really wrong with the marriage for you to look for someone else regardless of the reason. Having said that, it is ultimately your decision to go back if you feel like it. I hope you are able to do the right thing

Protect yourself by all means... what I wanted to say is if you think that your marriage life is not working maybe, both of you must give space to each other that will have the time to breath and meet other people. If you are still meant to be together then you will have this sign from God that will still put you together. Just keep praying and ask for guidance. God bless!

You have said this 'guy'(I will not call him a man) doesn't want you to get attached to him. Logic: UNattach yourself! Dear, you need to tell him this is it, you're done with him, hit the road! Even if you don't save your marriage, and you man is WAY hurt, then this guy is no one to be having a relationship with anyways. Severe those ties first, showing your man that you ARE serious. Otherwise why should your husband even believe you. Face it, if you won't severe the ties with your affair you man has NO reason to believe that you are telling him the truth. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DO WHAT YOU SAY! I wouldn't believe you either, if you kept meeting this 'guy'.

Tell him to get lost and MEAN it! Don't go running back to him and giving him or yourself or YOUR MAN any more grief with this affair. You have to do this! YOU have to take this step. Like I said, he's no one to be involved with anyways. He is ONLY using you and YOU know it. Harsh, yes, but you know I have been following this and praying for you. You need to step up and BE a WOMAN, hon! Be a LADY! Show your man you mean what YOU say! Step out of your selfishness and get started on healing!

I do not think your husband trust you anymore. Having an affair is one of the worst thing you can do to a person. It hurts them so deeply. Some people never get over it. I do not think your marriage can just go back to the way it once was. to much has happened. To look to god for strength is good but I do not think you can just fix this if you are still seeing this other man. Put yourself in your hubby's shoes once. I realize we all make mistakes but if you are still seeing this other man that tells your hubby you are not willing to try! Maybe if you are serious you need to move away from the other man and focus on your hubby! I had an affair on my ex and I was not in love with him anymore but I do know it still hurts him to this day. I am a shamed of myself for causing that kind of pain to another human being. I would never do it again. The guy I was having an affair with is long gone now. It was not worth it. The guilt will eat you up if you do not find peace. It did not just effect my husband but my children to. Good luck!

Don't try to push him in the chance of pushing him away competely but try to talk to him as much as possible and in the mean time just keep streghtening your relationship with God and maybe you could go to your pastor or if there is someone you can confide in if you go to church and if you don't I would suggest finding a good church to get into

subtlesubmissive hi if you want to save your marriage stop'
at once with the affair. you cannot have both men,so choose
which one you want to live withfor the rest of your life.
Talk some more to you huband,tellhim what you have told us,
but he will not listen if you keep going to the other guy.
you betrayed him and he is really hurt from it. You will have
to get over the feelings you have for the other man,its a must or you may as well count on divorce.I dont know if this is
fixable. it dependson your husband now.