|  Single girls around the world (or the Western world at least) probbaly, despite their cultural, racial and economic backgrounds, probably have a few similarities in their lives. I'm pretty sure that 99% of them (us) have a 'booty call' or a 'free ride' somewhere in the background to fufil the no-strings attached sex beed, they normally have the male friend who acts as the 'date' to those dreaded wedding, christening, dinner party invites. Mots of them probably have the token femlae single friend(s) - normally rapidly changing faces - who they hit the town with on the pull. I would also put a substantial amount of money on it that most of them have the in-a-long-term-relationship female friend who identifies being single as possible the worst thing inthe whole world and persists in being almost patronising to the single friend.
Which leads me to this discussion, which was prompted when I bumped into an old school friend in the local chemist in my home town, she was standing with her son waiting for a prescription. We said the custom 'Hello, how are you' and launched into conversation, in which she asked me if I was 'still' single and then proceeded to ask me why I haven't found a man yet.
While I am single, at the grand old age of 27, and while sometimes I do think how nice it would be to join the growing army of non-single women, that does not mean that I am giving off 'I am desperate' vibes. I do not have an internal body clock ticking away telling me I must find a man soon so I can reproduce, quite the opposite.
In my experience, while I have met quite a few of the much documneted 'I want a house & baby and any will do' women most of us are not desperate at all, far from it. In fact I think that normally single women are more discerning than those who have been in long term relationships for the majority of their teen to adult years. I mean is it really possible to meet the first love of your life at fifteen and then in intervals of 5 year relationships meet another two earth moving this-is-going-to-be-never-ending loves before your 30? I'm not so sure I think so!
I, like many others, like the 'first meet' stage, first meet, first kiss, first date, first month, first sex. But I find myself being hypercritical as I am getting to know someone, I find that I home in on faults that I wouldn't be able to overlook in a long-term relationship. Normally (unless they end things with me, and my weird 'now I want you' mood kicks in) I find that I go off them very quick. So when my non-single-in-love friends talk to me in pitying tones about how the love of my life is just around the corner, I find that I want to shout at them 'what do you know about love? you are not so fussy that you took the first one that came along, do you think I want your life?' but of course I don't! What I do do however is, when they try and set me up with greasy Malcolm from their firms post department, make sure that I try to put across that the reason I am single is not because I am desperate, but because I am fussy!
I am normally met with patronising sympathetic looks and a few oh wells, but still I do not win as normally these same friends start talking amongst themselves - as if I have then become invisible - about how 'some' people are always looking for a film love story. And, of course, they all know that real love is not like that, its about stability, security, mortgages and ISA's, its not about fancing someone but accepting them. So I have come to the conclusion that I cannot win. If I dare say I like being single, I am 'putting on a front' and if I happen to say that maybe 'it would be nice to meet someone' then I really want a boyfriend (anyone will do!), either way I am labelled as desperate or a complete no-hoper who can't even attract a man!
Who said the single life is easy? Pass me the vodka someone...
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