Would you allow your small kids to to this?

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My father in-law treated the entire family to a weekend at the beach. On our way home, i and my two small boys have to ride with my brother in-law because my husband had to pick up the car from his sister's house. Inside the car, my two year old and his cousin of the same age were playing, jumping, fighting (no car seat, no seatbelts.) then my nephew jumped over the baggage compartment of the car. I was sitting at the back seat with the boys but since we were running, it was difficult for me to handle the two boys since im holding my one year old in my arm. My brother in-laws wife told me to let them play and just leave them alone. I felt so helpless because my son was also already in the compartment. The entire ride was so stressful that i had to strain my arm holding my son's hand while the other arm is holding my one year old. My husband told me later on that it is normal in his country to let the children play in the car. Too many times i saw small children sticking their heads out the window of a running car. I wonder how would you feel if your kids to this? And How would you react if people tell you to leave them alone and let them "play"? I heard comments that i am so overprotective of my small boys. I don't know...