Should you spank your kid?

I love your method but I do at times do spank. I have five and they are so close in age range. My parents spanked us sometimes too but my dads presence in the house backed up my mom. I do alot of "put your nose on the wall routine" or go to the other room bit, but when I spank them it's like they know they went too far. When I young I still hit my brothers. Growing up siblings can be irritating as well. My dad used to tell us to stop fighting all the time. I see that with my own kids but at the same time they each other alot.

There are definitely other techniques out there to teach your child right from wrong, but that's not always workable. We have slapped our kids on the hand when they were between one and two years of age, just because it startled them enough to stop them from doing what they were doing. And the reinforcement of a sternly said "NO!" drove the point home. Even now, when they are older, they might get a smack on the butt if they throw a tantrum and they need to be removed from the situation in order to get them to a place to calm down and have the time-out. That little smack on the butt startles them enough to get a hold of them, lol. Anyhow, my oldest is seven, she doesn't need that anymore. She hears by the tone of voice, when she is in trouble, lol.

Point is, I'm not completely opposed to a spanking within certain limits. Alternatives are definitely better teaching methods.

Now that it has become a crime in most places to deliver corporal punishment to your child, I think its a good idea to follow the law, so that you don't find yourself in jail while trying to teach your children boundaries, punishment and accountability.

I have to say that I was spanked many times as a child, but I have never been beaten or abused. I was told of the upcoming spanking and the reasons why I was going to get spanked and was talked to afterwards.

Before I was spanked, I was given an opportunity to change my behavior and because I chose not to I was given a swift punishment that left a long lasting impression on me.

I can't say that my parents method was better than time-outs and the like, but I often wonder why so many children are on medication for ADD, and are often weaker acedemically and socially, and often times out of control, compared to the generation of children that grew up before spanking was frowned upon and made to be a crime.

I think that the spankings I got were well deserved, but fell well short of the abuse that people call it these days.

Don't you think you deserved the spankings you got?

Didn't there come a time, when you were still young, that there was no need for you to be spanked any longer?

I just don't know what to think anymore. I see your point that it would seem silly to some to get spanked, because I hit my brother, in an effort to teach me not to hit, but I think that there must be some immediate consequenses to the actions of children and sitting in a chair just isn't as effective as some other punishments.


When I was young, we simply didn't hear of some of the bizarre behaviors and social turmoil that exists in todays school aged children.

Is it because corporal punishment doesn't exist in todays world?

Good question.

Answer: NO!

The parents should watch "The Nanny".

There are other ways to "control" your children if that's what you're after.

My Dad, all he had to do was look at me, shake his head and rub his stomach. He had ulcers, so that was enough to let me know I was being a little schmuck.

My Mom, rarely spared the rod, I grew up with more respect for my Dad and I turned out fine but I would never hit my kids.

Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of spanking. I was abused by my ex-stepmother as a child, and it left some pretty interesting impressions on me...and also the knowledge that as an abused child, I was twice as likely to abuse my own.
That said, I HAVE spanked my children. This happens, if I had to pick a number, maybe once every other month. They seldom misbehave to the point of needing anything worse than a time out (and as you said, in the case of teaching them not to hit, it's counter-productive). There are circumstances where a spanking is the quickest way to get them to realize just how badly they've messed up - particularly when you've already warned them repeatedly. Spanking does not necessarily equal abuse!
For me personally, if you ARE going to spank, I don't approve of using anything except your own hand. That way, when you spank, it stings your hand a little, and it really does hurt you as well (and you're also less likely to go overboard). I also only do one or two swats in one spanking. As someone else said, it's just as important, as with any form of punishment, to make sure that the child understands what they did wrong, why they are getting spanked, and of course that you still love them.
Disciplining a child is different for everyone - it depends on the child, the parent, the culture, etc - so there really is no ONE right way to do it.
The most important thing is that you have a well adjusted, healthy, happy child, who is also well mannered and well behaved, who is NOT terrified of you. Whatever form of discipline chosen should NOT interfere with a loving parent-child relationship, and I believe that so long as those things are true, then a parent is doing something right.

I was raised pretty much the same as you. I didn't get into too much trouble, but was spanked a few times. But I don't think spanking is the right way to punish a child. It is somewhat showing them that hitting is okay, and doesn't really teach them anything. A better form of punishment would be time out, or taking favorite things away like tv, games, ect.

I do spank my son, but not that much..becuase it makes me in a down mood.
I didn't get spanked, i got beat up...I was hoping my dad would stop it but he didn't..I would call out to him, but my mom kept on going (my mom is a strong woman physically and mentally).
I don't like hitting, but even though I have 1 kid he is a handful, I have low patience so it is really hard for me when he is doin something wrong.
I do yell alot though, but I need to stop that 2

hi goldenapple I was too. and I never spanked, I did time outs, and stand in the corner but never beat on my kids, and while my little girl died at age 8 my son who is now fifty is a fine young man, young to me at 81 anyway. I think your approach to
discipline is right on so keep at it. you are doing great.

yes i think u should spank your child to let them know who is in charge because if u be easy to them, when they get older they well walk all over u and u would have know control over them, so scared them while they young,

I have had my fair share in being spanked by my father before. That was his way of disciplining us. When I have my son, I chose not to follow my father's way of disciplining my son. Actually I wasn't sure if that was the best way because I grew up pretty well disciplined when I was young because of that method my father applied to us. I risked and I would say that I chose the right path in letting a child grow. He is a happy little child of mine who knows only to love us back because he never experienced being spanked at all. We do discipline him by teaching him why is is being disciplined and not force him by fear to follow our rules. So far it is working for us. As I said he is happy child and so far its working for us not to ever spank our son.