Yahweh's Resume  

I was browsing through the net because I wanted to find out something about the Old Testament God, The Muslim Allah, The Christian God the Father. I wanted to know how the idea of this God developed through the ages, what the ancient Hebrews (who were Pagans) really believed. I had already read somewhere that Yahweh was only a sky god in the Hebrew pantheon, who later got "promoted" to his post as Lord God of the Universe, Creator of the world.

What I got in the Internet was a rant. Now, I like rants; they amuse me. Or rather, the ranters ability to express a plethora of emotions through just one four letter word beginning with "f" amuses me. And this was a jolly good rant, not that informative, but a good rant. I was just going to read it and forget about it, when I saw Yahweh's resume at the bottom of it. Well, I found myself nodding in agreement. This is exactly what I felt when I read the Old Testament myself. In fact, this was precisely what upset me for days. I thought I would share it here.

Believers, keep away!! This is not for you though if you wish you may read and leave a rant of your own. ;)

Personal Resume and Data Sheet
Yahweh

Place Of Residence: Heaven

Aliases/Other Names Worked Under: God, The Man Upstairs, JHVH, Jah, I Am, The Big Cheese, The Big Man, The Almighty, Your Maker

Hobbies: Infanticide, maiming, slaughter, genocide promise-breaking, destruction of own creation, smelling burnt offerings, *ucking with people

Criminal Record: None

Work Experience: Drowning of millions of human beings and even more animals during Great Flood; creation of the universe including its focal point Planet Earth in a mere six days; massacre of many peoples;destruction of many cultural and intellectual achievements; torture and extinction of human beings by various and sundry methods including hugemongous hailstones and poisonous snakes, plagues of fire, plagues of smelly frogs, pestilence and diseases invented then introduced to Earth; consignment of people to Purgatory and Hell for long periods of time

Children: One (son)

Spouse: None

Qualifications: Experience with: rape, pillage and plunder; proven talent for punishing, lying, deceiving, trickery and chicanery, ignoring prayers, discrimination against women and handicapped, damnation, making deals with the Devil, instigation of confusion and chaos, creation of evil, transference of monarchical system to Planet Earth, repetitive squelching of democracy and dissent, instilling disillusionment and a multitude of psychoses,manufacture of psychopaths, inspiration of sociopaths to carry on divine work on Earth, invention and perpetuation of capitalism and other forms of exploitation

Personal References: The Pope (every one of them), Noah, Adolf Hitler, Genghis Khan, The Reverend Jim Jones, George H. Bush, George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, most other American presidents dedicated to imperialism like chosen Hebrew race, other potentates around globe, Job, Lucifer, Satan, Oral Roberts

Here is my source: http://www.blestbedissent.com/yahweh.html

Cheers and happy mylotting