Well I think I blew it....  |
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 Okay I've been dating this guy for a little over a month now and we've fallen so in love. I didn't xpect it to be this way. He's awesome with my son who is from a previous relationship, he changes diapers and plays with him. well anyway last week he slipped off the boat and did something that he hadnt done in a long time. Well we recovered from that and I am still struggling with being hurt in the past I just dont know how to let go and let him love me. So today I had alot of time to think and I realized that I need to lay some stuff out on the table for him and when I started to I realized I sounded crazy. Honeslty I feel like I love him too much...I mean so much it hurts when we arent together. Is that normal? who freakin knows. but basically i told him that i love him with all my heart and i love him even more for accepting my son and loving us both. He had asked me a week or so ago if I would move in with him in feb and I said yes of course. but in the mean time Im cinstantly worried about losing him. ( that hppened with Gradyns father he walked out with another woman when i was in the hospital having Gradyn). I need to let go of the past and just let things happen but I dont know how to do that. Plus I fear that the damage has been done and its irreversible. what should I do?
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1.  sugarfloss (1730) | 1 year ago |  hey there lexus656,I think you have the answer.U just said it,"Let go".Hang in there.
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| 2. rsa101 (7328) | 1 year ago |  Well don't allow your fear to stop you from getting what you want. I think the fear of losing him is quite normal for you being a victim of that incident. Well right now the best thing that you have in that relationship is his trust, you have seen him that he accepted you and your son like it was his own. That is why you have accepted him and loved him back because of that single act which is not common for a man to do. With regards to damage is done, it was and it will haunt you if you keep that fear in your heart. Fear is just a figment of your imagination if you nurture it, it will stay with you for as long as you want. That feeling is within your control and no one can take that away from you but yourself. Take control of your life and not the fears of the past relationship. Learn from the past and move on.
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 Lexus656 (391) | 1 year ago | thanks for your comment I think that it has helped put it into perspective. I just hope that he'll listen and understand and not think that I'm crazy and walk away. | |
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| rsa101 (7328) | 1 year ago | I am confident the way you described him to be that is quiet a responsible and understanding person that he is. Be brave in being honest with him how you feel about the relationship you have in your heart and I am seeing that he will loved you more for being that brave to open this issue with him. Trust yourself and he will trust you back if he truly loves you. | |
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| 3. redkathy (1787) | 1 year ago |  Be honest with yourself. No one can decide what's right for you. I always pray for some time, try to be patient and pray some more. Then I would search my heart, think about my real feelings, weigh the good points and the bad points(slipping off the boat). If the good outweighs the bad, let it go and move forward!
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| Lexus656 (391) | 1 year ago | When he had his little issue last week he wanted me to leave him but I couldn't I love him to much for that. I will support him through whatever, It wasn't something that was that bad. He knows what he did was wrong. He's trying to change his life but my ex treated me like an object I didnt mean anymore to him then a tv did so something I dont feel like I have anything to offer Chad. I guess I'm going to have to start letting go and take control of the situation. I know that I can't be hurt again, but I guess It's better then to have love and lost then to never loved at all... | |
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4.  nanayangel (4229) | 1 year ago |  Hi there Lexus!
I'm sorry to hear about what happened in the past. Thank you for sharing it, I now have an idea of why you think that you should hold yourself back from this one. I understand how painful and traumatic it was and I guess you just have to let yourself heal first. How long has it been since that incident happen? But maybe, you shouldn't deprive this new man and yourself of whatever the future holds for you both. If you feel that you love him, I'd say go for it. It will be a lot better to give it a try and fail than to never give it a try at all and live with questions and regrets. But if it will work out, then it'll be because you took the risk.
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| Lexus656 (391) | 1 year ago | Me and tony my sons father have been broke up for over a year now gradyn is almost two. I left him when I found out I was pregnant because of drugs and abuse but took him back when i was six and a half months pregnant. I ended up in the hospital later that week and had gradyn two and a half months early and he left the day i had him. he's never seen him and i think that has alot to do with why I dont give chad my everything.
I just messaged Chad apologizing for what has happened and I know that he will want to talk about it with me. He took me to his cousins over the past weekend and when we were leaving he said "see your family now you've met everyone". I just know that i could be with him forever if he lets me. He says all the time that if we brek up it'll be becuse of me leaving him. I don't know I just feel like he will get tired of it eventually so I promised him that I would start working on it now and that I would let go of the past. theres nothing else I can do. Hopfully when I talk to him tomorrow he doesn't want to end it and will want to work through this little tiff. | |
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5.  Shar1979 (2279) | 1 year ago |  It's normal to feel scared of losing the person you love but I guess you just have to learn how to deal with your fear as it will definitely affect your relationship with your partner. You can always find time to talk to him and see if he would still want to be with you
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