never-enough-daughter

lol m tha eldest among us siblings..lol..n i enjoy my rights!

I am the oldest of the daughters. I have three younger sisters. My mom compares them all to me. I hate it. My sister below me is everything my mom wants her to be. the two below her my mom says can be a pain in the butt like me. I hate it when she says that. I think over time things get a little better. I moved away and I can't see her, but we talk, and we seem to understand eachother better. All I can say is keep doing what you feel is right, cause thats all you can do, and over time things should get better. good luck.

be yourself sis. don't hold a grudge. whatever you do she is still your mother. i know these stuff and i completely understand your stand here but let me tell you my story.

i am the eldest among siblings and among cousins, from mother to father's side. and you know, mine is worse. i have a cousin who is younger than me (and more intelligent than me) and guess who makes the comparisons? my grandmother. (OUCH RIGHT?)

whenever she brings up topics like, how can i not be like her and stuff like that, i always get that usual palpitation. my eyes water but i really won't say anything about it. it's as if someone did not just tell me something ever so painful. i've taken every single hurtful thing and there's this particular one she said...

"gayahin mo yung pinsan mo, ang taas ng grades":

translate "imitate your cousin, she has high grades"

(but the actual Filipino terms she said really hurt a lot).

that one really had me. i answered her back and said...

"HINDI AKO SYA OKAY! BAKIT BA COMPARE KA NG COMPARE? ikaw nagsasabi wag magcocompare ng mga tao, ikaw naman nagcocompare sakin sa kanya???"

translate: "I AM NOT HER OKAY! WHY DO YOU KEEP ON COMPARING PEOPLE LIKE THAT? you are the one who keeps on telling us not to compare people. why do you keep comparing me to her???"

I WAS SUPER PISSED OFF! she answered me back like a muffled dog, i didn't really understand it. but she was so furious, we had a fight. okay, she got her blood pressure rising like hell, i got scared and i said sorry.

where's the justice here? hahaha. i mean, really? but you know, i am still keeping things up like i always do. i've kept great grades, finished my college, passed the board exams for the first take and now, i am a registered nurse. SHE is now proud of me. tough things happened but i never kept my focus out of sight.

good thing about the confrontation is that she is thinking about what she's gonna say now, unlike before that her mouth seemed like a machine gun. haha.

be yourself. don't lose focus. don't use rebellion. continue what you're doing, work to the top and earn what is rightfully yours. at the end of it, thank her for motivating you. for being that blind spot that kept on nagging you to be the best. after all, you have become the best, without the support that you really needed. be proud of that.

I know how you feel but my mom doesn't do that to us the other way around it is my father. I am the eldest. You are right,each of us have their own uniqueness but sometimes parents does not see for who we are. They keep on camparing us to others. I think you are good on your own just keep on doing what is right just like being a good person to other, good in school etc. Don't let your feelings of anger subside in yourself because this will ruin you. Just think of the positive side of it. Now I am a mom but only have one daughter I don't know if I will make a mistake of doing that (comparing) when I have another child. But deep within me I know I will not do that to my children. This will be part of your life so I think just learn what lesson it will bring to you when you grow up. Your just 19 and so many things will come to your life not just that. More heavy problems. Keep up on being good.