would you be offended if..  |
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 your friend at the time had been in an accident and she was home and fully aware and not drugged up or anything and you dropped EVERYTHING and drove a long ways to visit her and she had a ton of guest and you talked with her and she even was reminiscing about the good ol days and then later on you talk to her and she has no memory of you being there? but DETAILED memory of every other single person and accuses you of being a crappy friend for not showing???
then she has surgery and you were there with her before and after (losing a days pay mind you which i desperately needed at the time) and she wasnt drugged before she saw you before the surgery and everything and when you visit her in the hospital after wards she literally talks to every single person in the room but not you?? and again accuses you later of being a crappy friend for not showing??
i can understand trauma and medication making her memory crappy but remembering EVERY SINGLE PERSON AND DETAIL BUT ME?!?! wtf?? and i had known her like twice as long as every one else too!! i tried to not take offense but later on she kept treating me like crap and i ended the friendship because she just would make plans with me and then get calls on her cell from other friends and make plans with them to see them right after seeing me and so she would leave 5 minutes after she hung up when we just got to the place to eat.. so she ditched me!! but that didnt happen till after all of this accident so i wonder if that had something to do with it
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1.  Ravenladyj (17149) | 8 months ago |  but remembering EVERY SINGLE PERSON AND DETAIL BUT ME?!?! wtf??
hhhmm naw..I'm sorry but thats just TOO shady to me ya know...if it happened ONCE then maybe I'd think it was a medical thing but to happen TWICE...thats too odd IMO...
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 moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | i know i would get really pissed because she was like "oh suzy came to see me and brought me a gift and then bob and joe came and visited me" and im like uhhh i know.. i was there BEFORE AND DURING THEIR VISIT!!!! and she would look at me like i had lost my mind!! she wasnt a healthy friend for me anyways.. she came from a time in my life that my life was really emotionally messed up.. i had known her when my family was involved in a cult like atmosphere and i have ptsd from that and i ran away from that religion and she went crazy and became a fanatic.. i was loyal because she was my friend for so long but she had changed so much that even if this hadnt happened it prob wouldnt have been mentally good for me to have her as a reminder and bugging me on why i didnt think the abuse was acceptable | |
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2.  Sheepie (2549) | 8 months ago |  I don't know about you, but I would suspect there was some kind of resentment going on. Maybe you said something she didn't like or maybe somebody was gossiping about you and made you look bad. Well, you tried, sometimes you just have to go on I guess, even when things aren't really finished and things are left unsaid.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | her friends did hate me.. it was one of those things that we were best friends.. our families both moved away and then hers returned and i did after i had gotten married and she was a totally different person and her new friends were um.. lol.. well they werent like me for sure.. so maybe they said some things to her.. i dont think she liked that i got married young and i had gone away from the church and she was insanely involved and obsessed with it so i think that had some to do with it.. but she was never a cruel person so i cant see her just lying and saying that she didnt remember me if she did.. who knows.. good riddance!! | |
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| Leixa003 (351) | 8 months ago |  Well I think it is not all your fault why some of her new friends does not like you. You can never please anybody but if you are really friends she would not be influenced that easily. I think you should really talk and see what is really wrong but if she keeps on insisting on some lies you think, then maybe now is not the right time.
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3.  atacamaval (3059) | 8 months ago |  I would talk to her and tell her what you have said here. Not to get her friendship back but to settle things that are hurting you. Maybe there is an explanation and everything is back to normal. But even if it isn´t, talk to her.
Take care
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | well she had done enough other things to where i ended the friendship on those.. she treated my hubby like crap which was the number 1 problem.. but she wasnt one to lie or intentionally hurt people so i couldnt figure out if she was being mean in not acting like she remembered me or if i was just being silly and it was really trauma that caused it all.. | |
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| Leixa003 (351) | 8 months ago | Well the problem is not just between both of you but it already involves other people important to you like your husband. I too do not like my friends boyfriend but since my friend loves him all I do is understand. If that man makes my friend happy all I can do is support her. I too would not want my friends to be too much involve with my love life. | |
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | i think hers was partially jealousy cuz i got married at 17 and she whined about how it wasnt her and then she met him adn instantlyl hated him.. and no one hates my hubby.. its like not possible..
i know a lot of friends dont like their friends significant others but if your friends with some one you figure out how to deal with it and if you do say something you say it once and let it drop if there is really no reason in it.. he has never hurted me or anything so its not like she was warning me or anything.. she would call up and if he answered the phone she was really rude to him and wouldntt talk to him if he was with us.. im sorry but you do not treat ANYONE i love or care about like that i dont care who you are!! | |
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| 4. mentalward (3624) | 8 months ago |  Did the accident involve her brain? If it did, she might have had problems with the memory part. Some people forget certain words, places, people, things like that. It's weird how the brain works! I mean, they cuold literally forget JUST ONE WORD or PLACE! That goes for people, too.
You could literally place an apple in front of them and, if that's one of the things affected by memory loss from an accident, she couldn't tell you what it was! But, she could tell you if it were an orange, a pear or any other kind of fruit.
It could have been caused by a brain injury but, if it didn't involve her brain at all, I'd say she's not much of a friend! Maybe you should ask her, flat out and as bluntly as you can! Well, you said you've ended the friendship but, if you talk with her again, you should ask her why she's behaving this way. TELL her it hurts! Some people need a 2 x 4 upside the head to realize when they're doing something that causes someone else pain!
IF it involved her brain, she could be having intermittent memories of you. That IS possible! She could remember you sometimes, but not always. The brain is a really complicated thing and we'll probably never know why it works the way it does.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | im pretty sure it didnt.. she broke her jaw which of course is her head so she may but if she did it was so minor that she didnt even have to stay in the hospital at all or anyone talk about a concussion or anything.. i figured the first time was just her being in shock but she had surgery i think a week or more later and like i said i saw her BEFORE meds so i dont see how she couldnt have remembered that..
hopefully i wont have to deal with her anymore since shes moved off some where and the only link i would have is her mom which i never really had a relationship with but she talks to my mom so unless she hunts me down i shouldnt have to deal with her ever again.. | |
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| 5. CanadaGal (1593) | 8 months ago |  I have never encountered such a situation with a friend, but I imagine after a few similar incidences as you've experienced, I too would end the friendship. It sounds like it was becoming too much of a burden, and that's no good. That is very odd that she didn't remember you being there for her on those occasions, and it very well could have everything to do with the accident she had.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | the friendship wasnt strong anymore when it happened so it wasnt like this was the reason but it did add insult to injury on top of all the other stuff.. i could see the day of the accident but her surgery was like a week or more after that so the shock would have been gone by then and i saw her before she was medicated.. i dont know the whole thing was really crappy | |
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| 6. ms1323 (157) | 8 months ago |  How was the friendship before the accident? Did she blow you off and leave for something "better" soon after arriving as well and maybe you just didn't notice it as much? I'm suggesting that there was most likely a problem with the friendship before the accident, that it is not the accident that is affecting her "memory." Maybe you should search back and see if there were signs of some odd behavior prior to the accident.
I just sounds a little too bizarre to be a medical condition, in my opinion. To remember everybody and everything but you...? And I get the impression that she doesn't believe you when you point out that you were there for her, that she's accusing you of abandoning her. I feel that she is just using this as an excuse to end the friendship instead of coming right out and telling you.
I would let it go. She is not a true friend, if she was she would not be playing these head games with you.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | the friendship was strained beforehand.. we had been close growing up and then moved apart and our lives grew totally opposite of each others then we lived near each other again so it was like we were trying to get back to where we were but not sure how (i hadnt been back long so we hadnt had much of a chance) i think she pretty much had replaced me (which is understandable considering we did live apart for years) with new people but she was the one that was really clinging on to the friendship.. she was the one that would suggest to go places (im never one to plan anything.. just not my nature.. i never want to assume that people will drop things for me but i always show up when ever plans are made etc) so i figured we were having problems with the awkwardness and that the day of the accident she was disoriented.. but then after that and some other bs things made me just baffled.. shes not one to lie or try to hurt people or else i would have thought she was saying i was lying to push me away like you said so i dont understand what the deal was with that.. but things went super downhill after that.. i just ended it because it felt like we were beating a dead horse and i was tired of her bs | |
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| 7. sickache (422) | 8 months ago |  I will be offended. I will not expecting such reaction from her. I'm thinking that her accident has something to do with you. Maybe, she was thinking about you that time. Other option is she doesn't like you but she acted that you are a friend to her. I'm not saying that you will hate her. Just listing the possibilities.
If I am on your situation I will approach her and ask her frankly about it. It is very difficult. Think about it that i will just only happen once. After that, you will get loose of the doubts that you have in your mind right now. Have courage moonlitmagikchild. Good Luck
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | well we had been friends for 10 years and in the early years i was like her only friend so i doubt she was faking for that long.. i know we grew in totally different ways which i figured we would just work through it but this happened and then she would ditch me later on after making plans to see me.. etc.. BUT she was the one that was always clinging on to the friendship.. she initiated getting together and everything because im not one to plan things i never knew her schedule etc.. so she made an effort to have plans but then treat me crappy.. she totally made no sense and im glad she is out of my life.. i just always wondered if i was over reacting to the not remembering me thing.. but apparently everyone here agrees that its fishy so now i feel better that i wasnt being paranoid or something | |
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| sickache (422) | 8 months ago | You just did the right thing. | |
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| 8. craftcatcher (2276) | 8 months ago |  It sounds like selective amnesia, which can be conscious or subconscious. In this case it's more than likely because of the strain and abandonment issues already present in your friendship. She subconsciously just blocked your visit out of her mind. Unless she would be willing to accept your word or someone else's word that you were there, she will not change her stance that you abandoned her. Without the help of counceling she will not see your running away from the horrible situation you were in years ago as anything else but abandonment. Your leaving was obviously more traumatic for her than she let on. I have a feeling that this is her way of punishing you whether she realizes it or not.
It's sad but probably a lost cause to try to salvage the friendship. It's doubtful she will work through the issue on her own and will continue to punish you every chance she gets.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | well both of our families moved away from my hometown at the exact same time.. she had moved to a different state and same here to another state but she returned and resumed life and i never got back till years later after i got marriage.. so its not like i was abandoning her.. but i guess with the crap she has gone through in her life maybe it still seemed that way | |
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| 9. jillhill (10201) | 8 months ago |  They say that any kind of brain or head trama can change someone....My friends dad fell off a truck and hit his head.....they don't even speak to one another any more! So she might be struggling with something to do with her brain.....leave her alone for a while....she might remember more if you aren't around.
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| moonlitmagikchild (6750) | 8 months ago | well other than her breaking her jaw i dont remember any brain trauma.. she didnt have to stay in the hospital or anything and no one said anything about a concussion.. if i knew that she did have head trauma then i wouldnt have really put much thought into it.. but i would think some one would have said something or she would have been taking some pain meds for it or something.. i know i had to when i had a concussion last year!! lol | |
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