My ex is driving me crazy...

I shouldn't even call him my ex, since I don't call him my ex in real life. When I was a teen, we were seeing each other, and I thought it was really cute when he was trying to break up with me (so he could go screw other girls) and I let him down hard and I could HEAR the disappointment in his voice, especially when I started LAUGHING at him. I wanted him to hurt because he was a player and a PATHETIC one at that...anywho.
Fast forward 7 years later, we now both live in Calgary, used to both live in Nova Scotia, and he contacted me on facebook one day, giving me an update and such, saying we should go out sometime, catch up, I was avoiding him as well because I KNEW he would just be trying to get in bed with me the whole time, PLUS he did hardcore drugs when we were teens as well, and quite frankly, got so messed up that he had to take VIAGRA to get with a girl.
The upside? No longer doing hardcore drugs, downside? I still don't want to see the player wanna-be.
So I suck it up and invite him over for an evening, just to sit in my living room, watch a movie, have a drink or 2, to actually catch up...what does he do? Keeps acting so amazed about how good I look, and how I finally have a butt on me (a badunkadunk if you will) at which I kept responding, "Dude, I've always had an a$$...anyways, how is work going."
For the whole night, out of no where's he kept popping in the middle of the conversation to make a comment about my body, about when we were seeing each other, how cool I am, about the one time we tried having sex (quite frankly I wasn't even interesting in him THEN, let alone NOW).
I got tired of trying to have a conversation with him, so then I put a movie in. The movie? The Day the Earth Stood Still, original (of course because the remakes isn't in theatres yet).
His response? "OH! That is SUCH a movie only YOU would pick out for us to watch!" while laughing his buttocks off.
I physically stop in my tracks, and just a flush of memories just invaded my mind...we NEVER actually talked when we were teens, we just went to parties, and I would be silent, drink my pop, laugh at jokes, etc. We never talked about my likes and dislikes, he never talked about his either. So the rest of the night, I wasn't the best hostess, but could you blame me? There was a person in my house that I wasn't too impressed with, and I only felt sorry for him because he has no one else out here to talk to, and wasn't giving out any redeeming vibes.
So we watched the movie in silence, with him here and there complaining about not finding a "good" girl for him.
Let us fast forward yet again to about 3 weeks later.
I have been avoiding his text messages, his phonecalls, and then his voicemails.
I was working, I was tired, and I just didn't want to see him.
An opportunity to get him out of his own house, me out of mine, as well as various other friends, a coworker, TRIED to get my boyfriend to come out too, to SHOW Mr Ex to bugger off, BUT my boyfriend had a family dinner to go to, because his little bro was proposing to his girlfriend. So obviously not disappointed and not mad about that.
A freak show was in town!
Which is an annual event for the art students, and this was their 23rd consecutive year, this included Lupa the feral wolf girl, tarot readings, and various performances of Shakespeare to give a little preview to the audiences of upcoming performances, which was awesome since they interacted with the audience as well.
ANYWAYS little bit of a fast forward. and if I get enough demand for it, I will describe the freakshow in more detail in another discussion, lets say...30 response? Not too much to ask for eh?
Alright, so fast forward back to my house, after the show, we're having a late snack, myself, my roommate, his friend who came with, my coworker, and the ex.
So we're sitting on the floor, and we're talking about the performances, and out of nowhere, my ex starts complaining AGAIN about not finding a good girl.
I just sighed and then said, "Have you tried speed dating?" His response? "What? I'm not trying to find a relationship, or a sex buddy...."
I flipped! My response? "Then shut the HE77 up about this crap in MY house with MY friends, you wonder why no one wants to hang out with you? Because you are a pathetic player wanna be! You know what's sad? You haven't changed a BIT in the 7 years we've known each other. If you're not looking for that, then why the heck are you complaining about it, when there are 2 girls here, who CLEARLY have boyfriends, what? Is it a defense mechanism of sorts dude? We won't get with you because of that? So you're "Safe" from psychotic morning afters? Newsflash, stop going after the drunkest girl in the bar! And another thing! You don't know my personality, my likes, my dislikes, what I prefer to do, and yet you CLAIM to know me! Is this a gimmick you use to trick the girls you're trying to get with? I bet they DO fall for it, because you always went for the dumb ones, which is WHY you thought you could try to break up with me, where YAH KNOW, there was no relationship whatsoever.
Also, you are a porn star wanna be, and OBLIVIOUS to everything around you, including peoples' reaction to you! But hey, sorry man, but had to be said." and then I chugged my drink and got back to the other conversations.
My coworker was peeing himself laughing, my ex was looking shocked, but then started laughing along, I'm not even sure he even understood most of what I said, my roommates didn't even hear what I said because they were having their own discussion lol.
So, outside having a smoke, my ex comes out, and out of nowhere, "We did have sex that one time...ha ha...but the dude before me kind of screwed you over..." I sighed, and said, "....and? How does this come out?" I didn't even finish my cig, I tossed it and went back inside and got comfortable on the couch, thankfully the ex left not too long afterwards, because the rest of the roommates came back, and well...the other roommates scare him LMAO!
SO, after alllllllllllll of that, do you have an ex that is so clueless you want to maim and kill and just want to stop existing for the betterment of EVERYONE?
OR just make a comment on this little story?
Happy Mylotting! And remember! 30 or more response gets a detailed discussion about the freak show we went to! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!