Nobody's Grass is Green?

Ultimately if people aren't happy in their relationships, then perhaps they need to question wether or not they're in the right relationship for them.

No relationship is perfect. It doesn't matter how in love with someone you are, there will always be problems that need to be talked through and there will always be the occasional fight or disagreement.

Any relationship that doesn't have these things for all accounts and purposes isn't an honest relationship. Things aren't being said or problems are being ignored.
No couple is happy 100% of the time. It's just life.

The thing is though, that to remain in a relationship there has to be a balance, and the good has to outweigh the bad.
The reasons for staying almost always have to outweigh the reasons for leaving. I say "almost always" because there are points in every relationship where the bad will temporarily outweigh the good.

So for every couple out there.... overall, if you spend more time being miserable than happy.... you really need to start asking yourself some hard questions.
How can being alone be worse than being with someone who you're miserable with?

I experienced it four days ago .My best friend introduced her husband's brother- in- law to me .I have told her that i can make friends with him but not as the relationship as she thought .Therefore,i chated with the man in the net twice.After the valentine's day,I came across with my best friend inline .And she asked me how i were going on with her brother-in-law.I told her frankly that we are just friends and i don't have the feeling with him .Listening to this,my friend seemed angry and left word that "do you want alone for all your life " . I felt inocent but i feared to lose my best friend .So i made a determination that i have to talk with her once more .I don't want it break our long relationship .

You are on the dot. We always assume that the grass is greener on the other side. However, when we discuss the issue with your relatives or friends, it comes out that every one is not exactly happy in their respective relationship(s). Its reason could be that we do not accept easily that everyone is not perfect, we too are not perfect, when we get to learn this fact sooner or later, we start living amicably. Everyone tries to adjust with his/her partner to the extent possible, even if one gets annoyed, he/she knows that we have to live our life together, so he/she makes do with the available choice. It is like this - If a ship is sailing in the deep blue ocean and a crow is sitting on it. Even if the crow flies away from ship, later or sooner he will come back to ship, because in the vast and endless ocean he has no other option. I am apprehensive about your question at the end of your post. The implementation of your 'suggestion/idea' will largely depend upon many factors and circumstances and the environment prevailing at one's place. At least, in India our culture or society does not permit that you can have series of relationships, instead of a single permanent relationship. It is, therefore, one will have to go against the society to go for multiple relationships. And many people do not dare to defy the society or society norms. However, exceptions are always there.
Interesting Post!

Yes, I have seen this with so many friends, and in my work as a therapist. Whilst it is true that passion in a relationship does wear off, it doesn't have to go quite so stale.

In my own relationship, we share openness and honesty, regardless of what is on our minds. Sometimes this can be a little unnerving to share such stuff, but through this process we have grown very close through the years and there is never a dull moment.

I had a few relationships before my present marriage, and this truth didn't happen and we just drifted apart. Each of us tends to create the same relationship over and over no matter who we are with, but in my opinion, sharing the truth is a way to stop this "sameness" Derek

However green it may appear, it needs cutting too is what I always bear in mind.

When I look around and see the situations that some of my friends are in then I'm absolutely pefectly happy with my lot. I agree with your theory about a series of relationships too. One long happy story is very rare to find. I have many very happy memories and added up together they cause many smiles. I'm glad things ended the way they did with what was supposed to be 'the story of my life'. That was not life as I was expecting it to be.

Referring to your title: Nobody's grass is green, how true this is. That's because we tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side. But we often forget that eventually the grass on the other side will grow and we need to cut it as well...........

Ya Zandi you have hit the nail on its head.No relationship goes stress free and tension free without putting so many things into it.To make a relationship work you have to adjust,adapt and sacrifice a lot.You have to shed your egos and hassles and give it time and liberty to nurture.
Through my personal experience the proverb "it needs two to make a row" proves just apt for the relationship.Both of the parties have to shed their inhibitions,fears about each other and try to open up with positive approach.Positive contribution for building the relationship is required from both parties and we should always be ready to learn something new about the relationship everyday.
Good and serious topic

a good friend of mine & i9 were just talking about this last night. she said she didn't think there was a family anywhere that wasn't dysfunctional in some way that alot of them just hid. i agreed w/her. some of them will put up w/anything just to say they have a husband or wife. i really think women are worse about this than men.i put up w/alot of bull when i was married & i can tell you right now i don't like living in misery & haven't in over 3o years & don
't intend to ever do that again. the sad part was i cared for him but it didn't mean enough to him to behave.i think there
s always one that gives more the other. that's not right either, it should be 50/50 but i think that seldom happens.i'm not looking down on people who live w/that kind of bull but it was never for me.good luck to everyone.

zandi458,

Being in a relationship tells a lot about ourselves and often wondered why are we leading 'certain' relationship we never understand. Well, that's because you are trying to examine a problem within the structure of the relationship, when the root of it all lies with the self.

You mention of the fear is that because no relationship ever works anywhere, going for something unknown. Sorry, in the first place since when is everything that has to do with future, known? If I may add on further, has it ever occurred to you that such fear might actually be insecurity gnawing the life out of ones' Love.

If a relationship suffers and not benefit from any definition of what Love is to the other half, then you might have to review the entire relationship from scratch again.

Loving a person does not always make us having to compromise on our part, even to the extent of lowering our dignity. Fear or rather insecurity...because one day our other half might just turn around and walk away forever. Our fear of leading our life without the others presence coerces us to accept any odds, regardless of how ridiculous or unreasonable it seems.

Hence, our behaviors are driven by fear, much less motivated by love.

The paradox in Love: the more one fears, the more damage one will unconsciously deal to the relationship. As in the words of Anais Nin: "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

Cheers.

EVERY relationship has its ups and downs, even among friends and business partners or work colleagues. It's the nature of the beast! There are also times and seasons when someone simply focuses on what is wrong and sees only one way out of it instead of seeking alternatives and weighing consequences. I don't think everybody is miserable, and that's because some poeple take time to consider those things and realize that what they thought was greener grass on the other side were just weeds.
I think that your last question is unfair because every disappointment can be disastrous to some and nobody can stand too many of those. Besides, since we're not made to be alone, we'll always be feeling that need until it's satisfied. Deep subject!