Have you ever been told that your child looks more like the other parent?
By cream97
@cream97 (29085)
United States
March 9, 2009 2:58pm CST
I am sure that we all have went through this at some point in our lives. Whether we were told this alone or when we had kids of our very own, we were told this. Well like me and many others, I have been told so numerous of times. I have had many people tell me that none of my kids look like me, but looked only like the father. I have had people tell me that my girls looked like me and my son looked like his father. I have had people tell me that my son looks like like me and the girls looked like their father. And vice versa... Just the other day, I was in Walmart, and I ran into my husband's cousin. She saw my daughter and she told me that my daughter looked just like her daddy. I told her that I think that she looks like me, and she tells me, that she sees more of her father in her. She pointed out that she had his eyes and mouth. But, I disagree. I believe that my daughter looks just like me. Her father seems to think so anyway. When we are alone, he is always, telling my daughter and me that we look just alike. He tells me that I should have named her me. Because we could go for twins. I have had many people tell me otherwise about my kids, and some of them really think that they are right. Everyone has their own opinion. I don't try to sweat what they say about my kids to me. Because I know the truth. I want to know how do you deal with someone saying that your child looks like the other parent and not you. If you truly believe in your heart that your child resembles you, what do you tell someone that disagrees with you? Do you try to explain yourself and prove them wrong? Or do you just shrug off their opinion like as if they did not say anything to you at all?
I am glad that my child looks like their father, at least I know who fathered all three of my kids. But, I disagree with people when they say that my children looks nothing like me. Because the truth is, they all have many features of mines that their father does not. They have my skin texture, complexion, hair texture, eyebrows. My youngest daughter may have her daddy's and mines. But you can tell that they are our kids, just put it that way.
Tell me, honestly, how do you deal with this type of issue?
4 people like this
16 responses
@Jae2619 (1482)
• United States
10 Mar 09
Children change so rapidly when they are growing, so for a few months they may look like you, other times they may look like your husband. I find this common with my two children. Sometimes people say, oh my she looks just like you, other times they say, oh my lord... She's her daddy over and over again, same goes for my son with the same comments. I know my daughter is a splitting image of me, but not so much in looks right now, but additude, her personality, and that could be why you feel so strongly about your daughter looking so much like you.
2 people like this
@celebratelifeh (1142)
• China
10 Mar 09
hello...we have no child now but i was told that my newphew(my oldsister's son)looks like me . even he act like me as my childhood, how sweet it is!
my newphew once said to his grandma that he is hot on a very cold day when his grandma forced him to wear a coat he does not like. so he lied to his grandma by this excuse what i used 20 years ago. he is only 3 years old and i only saw him 2 times. how magic it is.
2 people like this
@ScarletAlston (2693)
• United States
9 Mar 09
I found it funny. The only people that said anything like that about my son is his father's family. My baby looks like the both of us depending on the time of day. He looks like me until about late afternoon (as crazy as that may sound) His father's mother and sister both told me that he looks more like his father, but I know that is their way of trying to be funny...
2 people like this
@mansha (6298)
• India
9 Mar 09
When my son was born I was told by my side of the family that he looks just like me and his side of the family used to sya that he looked just like my hubby. SO we told everyone therafter that we both were born twins. 
and we looked exactly the twins when we were born. It was hilarious. Naturally of my kid resembled him and me too then we must have looked exactly the same as kids, wouldn't we.
and we looked exactly the twins when we were born. It was hilarious. Naturally of my kid resembled him and me too then we must have looked exactly the same as kids, wouldn't we.
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
9 Mar 09
I do have the same thing happen to me all the time! I know with absolute certainty that my son looks exactly like my husband! But I still get people who say that they see me in him. It's simply not true. But as long as they're giving a positive comment I really don't mind so much. And my husband is a good looking man so I don't mind that my son looks like him.
@abanerji (1026)
• India
9 Mar 09
well, i am not a parent, so won't understand how it feels to a parent. but on this issue, sometimes i feel many people just say this for the sake of saying so. i resemble my mother completely... some say i am her scanned copy... true, we resemble a lot. yet there are people who would say i resemble my father, though there is no such resemblance. this makes me think that sometimes people just say this to start a close communication.
2 people like this
@nishdan01 (3050)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
A lot of times I had been told so. Infact, I have been asked by few people "Is this your son?" I never felt angry because no one can change the truth. It is decided by God and God himself who does the work of creation. But I do not know what people will say if the child does not look like either of the parents.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Mar 09
It is happening to me all the time. People will look at me suspiciously whenever they look at my 4 children. They do not look alike. My eldest boy is short and dark like the father while my second son is tall and fair like me. I cannot say much about my two girls, they look totally different as they are both my adopted daughters. I never reveal to anyone that they are not my flesh and blood. Those sarcastic ones even say that I am a 'sperm collector' just by comparing the features of my children. I just smile and let them say what ever they like as I know the kids are born from a legal union and they having different looks is a gift from God. I don't argue much as I know they come from my womb shared with my husband as the real donor. 
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Hi cream dear! Well as you probably know that I have no kids of my own. However, I can tell you about what other people say about whom my siblings and I look like in their opinion and what my parents reactions to them. My brother looks very much like my father and my other brother looks more like my mom. I am a cross between my father and my mother. However, many people have their own opinion and they do not share our own. To those who share and do not share my parents' opinions they usually have one thing they consistently say to them..they are all beautiful and intelligent in their own unique ways. I do love those words whenever my parents say them.
Take care and have a great day!
lovelots..faith
Take care and have a great day!
lovelots..faith
@angel_of_charm (4133)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
well when my daughter is alive they always tell me that she looks like me a lot than his father..not like your situation, i always get the joke like if she was really her fathers daughter..i don't believe that one parent cannot look nothing like the other parent..that cant be, because even if the child looks more alike than the other parent there is still one significant feature from the other parent that will resemble..like how even they joke around my daughter of maybe having a different father i can always notice that the lips resembles from his father...most of the time when people tell me things about my daughter i just take it as it is and just wont bother to prove anything..i don't have to prove anything anyway as i know what i have to believe in
1 person likes this
@SydneyHazelton (4586)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
I have been told that I look like my dad but has the skin complexion of my mum, while my sister has my dad's darker skin but looks like my mum. It's fair, I guess. Now that I have a daughter of our own, many people has commented that she looks like my hubby with wide forehead and stuff. At first, I was hurt by such comments, but not anymore. I learn to deal with it.
Recently we I went back to my gynae for a check up. She was wondering who my daughter looks like. I said she looks like my hubby. Then she told me that my hubby looks like me, so she looks like the both of us. That was the best compliment I have ever had about who my daughter looks like, my hubby or me.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
10 Mar 09
Hi creamy97,
Well who ver the children looks like, they all got their traits frome you and their dad so that is all that matter and it all good. Hugs.
Tamara
@callahanb78 (529)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I get it all the time with these 4. Sometimes the boys look like me, sometimes its "They must get their eyes from their father". Sometimes "I can see what you looked like when you were a little girl" if I am with my daughter and sometimes she looks like her dad. I think it depends on which kids I have and how many beacause if I have them all with me I get mixed from they look like me and they look like their father but if I have them alone they all look like me. So I guess it just depends on who is doing the looking. :) I just shake my head yeah and go about my business.....
1 person likes this
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Usually, people would say that my son looks like my husband. My daughter has features that look like her dad, and some features that look like me. And I always tell my hubby when I'm in a mood to make jokes that he wouldn't be able to deny that my kids are his, and that he doesn't have to spend money for a paternity test :)
@elmolovesu (814)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Hi cream.
I also get that remark from a lot of people...mostly unsolicited.What I have noticed is that most of my husband's associates would say that my daughter looks a lot like him while those on my end would say that she looks exactly like me.
I used to ponder on this a lot but now,I just shrug it off.I would just tell myself "oh well,that's their opinion".
But I remember one occasion when a co-parent from my daughter's school made this comment "Oh,she looks like her father".I was being naughty at that time and asked her "How can you tell?You haven't even met my husband."I was just trying to see how she would react as this person is known to be so tactless.She paused for a while then told me that it's because she doesn't look like me.I told her "Oh my dear,maybe you need to wear glasses".As I said,I was being naughty.I also wanted to put her in her place because she is has a habit of making others feel bad by those unnecessary remarks.
Thanks.Happy mylottin!
