Silver Candlesticks and Weiner Dogs....  |
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|  I have a little story for you about my mother's Silver Candlesticks, and my Weiner Dog, Ricky. I bring it to you at the request of a fellow 'lotter.
The year was 1963. I was eleven and uncertain of my place in my newly adopted family, and frankly, not my mother's biggest fan. She scared the hell out of me.
She was SUCH a lady in her white gloves, pill box hats, pearls and perfect seams in her nylons. She had a air of 'regalness' about her that was reflected in her home decor and insistence that no one sit anywhere but on the very edge of her chairs and sofas......and damn, you'd better sit up STRAIGHT!
Her prize possession was the Silver Candlesticks that graced her formal dining room table. They were modeled on Corinthian columns and stood about 14" high.
Ricky was about 15" long, 6" off the ground and loved to hump whatever took his fancy.
And could that dog climb! Runt or no, he was liked greased lightening when he wanted to get from point A to point B.
Now every other Wednesday, mother hosted the neighbourhood Bridge Club at specially set up tables in the living room, with a lovely buffet lunch set out in the dining room. And yes, those Silver Candlesticks graced the table centre piece.
I remember it was September and I was missing the first few weeks of school because I had viral pneumonia and was confined to quarters.
Ricky was my only companion and I was bored and wanted some fun......Ricky's idea of fun being to hump my calves whenever he could latch onto them.
One morning while mother was out shopping, I taught Ricky to jump from floor to chair to dining room table top. It didn't take him long to latch onto the Silver Candlesticks......he was a quick study that dog! LOL
Wednesday came and Ricky was confined to my room along with me.
The ladies came en mass and mother did her hostess bit. Now the tradition was, getting a cocktail from the dining room sideboard to take to the tables before the Bridge Game began, so timing was crucial.
Ricky and I had snuck down to the kitchen just as the first ladies drew up to the house.
At the right moment, when all were gathered in the dining room pouring out their martinis and such, I let Ricky into the dining room and watched through the crack in the kitchen door.
Up he went onto a chair, and from there to the table top. He stepped daintily around the platters of edibles and lunged for the nearest Candlestick, and with a grunt of satisfaction, did what Ricky did best......
Every face in the room was glued to that dog! Glasses dropped and shattered on the hardwood floor, mouths fell open hitting ample bosoms with a thump, small shrieks and soft intakes of breath were heard here and there.
Ricky was oblivious to all but his desire.
Mother finally broke the spell by screaming like a banshee and waving her hands at the dog. He growled at her. He wasn't done.......
The ladies, faces red, and not one of them with any sense of humor at all, gathered their gloves and purses and made a quick exit from the house.
Ricky escaped to the basement when mother started throwing cutlery at him, I got back to my room just in time and feigned innocence when questioned about it, and of course poor mother never hosted another Bridge Club again as my father refused to get rid of the dog.
I learned two things that day about my new family.
Underneath her la dee da exterior, mother was as human as the rest of us, and my father had a great sense of humor. When he questioned me about Ricky, he kept winking at me and left me with the words "Next time, introduce to him to a young sapling outdoors"
Should I have posted this in the sex category?
ROFL
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1.  cynicalandoutspoken (2338)
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3 years ago
| |  This was so good I had to light up a cigarette in honor of Ricky. rofl.
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 sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | Ricky says 'don't bogie the joint'!
ROFL | | | |
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2.  dawnald (24270)
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3 years ago
| |  Oh that is hilarious. The other day I noticed that my cat, Oreo, was humping my daughter's blanket. We had him fixed sometime after he was sexually mature. But nobody put him up to it, that's for sure. Now if the dog had humped my mother's silver candlesticks while she had company, I'm pretty sure she would have had a sense of humor about it and most of her friends too. But then mom, while very intimidating because she was so smart, was also not the perfect lady, neatnick. Not at all. Glad you got away with it. rofl
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | I'm sure my mother would have more of sense of humor about it today, but back then, everyone was a Jackie Kennedy wannabe. lol
Do you know, to this day, I've never told my mother the truth of it? LOL Bet my father has though.......... | | | |
| dawnald (24270)
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3 years ago
| | Even my mom was to some extent but she gave up the ghost pretty early on...
I fessed up to a lot of stuff back in my 20's. To this day my siblings have not forgiven me. :-( | | | |
| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | After all the kids moved out and we were officialy 'adults', when we'd gather at the parent's for Xmas, we'd sit around the dining room table and tell stories of the past and one or the other of us would fess up to things still puzzling my parents.
Strangely, I never thought about this story as I'd always figured my Dad knew the truth and had at some time told my Mom. lol | | | |
| dawnald (24270)
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3 years ago
| | Maybe he did.
Now my sister, for some reason, still holds the curtains against me. I think it was the 22 whacks...
And my brothers are not all all happy about the time they got grounded for the summer...
But I guess they're mostly over it... | | | |
| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | LOL
We need a whole new category for stories about how we tortured/were tortured by, our siblings! LOL Let them read it and weep all over again................ROFL | | | |
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| 4. hornswaggled (2074)
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3 years ago
| |  OMG Sparks......I'm gasping so hard I think my hubby thinks something is definitely wrong with me......I love your story!!! And to answer your question...no it's way to priceless to put in the other catagory...
Just one question? Did you ever get little Ricky to stop doing his carnal duty to anything remotely his size? I ask cuz my daughter has a border collie mix that has this weird habit of sitting on my labs head when they wrestle...and I get the impression it's for the joy of someting...not sure what. He's fixed so not sure...
Thanks so much friend for telling me that story....it's the best laugh I've had since I don't know when....=)
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | Now aren't you glad I put into a discussion? ROFL Glad you enjoyed. I've got millions because as you said, I've been 'evil' for a long time! ROFL | | | |
| hornswaggled (2074)
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3 years ago
| | My favorite kind of friend!=) I hope your mom got over the whole "ricky" incident...and I sure wish I would have been your GF back then....we could have been in cahoots together on this deal... | | | |
| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | My mother has a way of 'conveniently forgetting' things that upset her, and never referring to them again........lol
And I think the idea of our being friends back then, is a hoot. What a time we would have had. You'll just have to live vicariously through my stories! LOL | | | |
| leenie50 (2134)
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3 years ago
| |  Hey horns,
I don't think she needs any help in her evil ways. Daffy, I can't wait to hear more. I had 6 brothers who kept my Mom and Dad busy.
Of course when we were little, my twin and I were should have been the death of my Mom.
leenie
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | Laughter is not good for a headache sweets.......but glad you enjoyed it.
And yeah, I've a million stories as to what makes me, me. LOL Now get better! | | | |
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| 7. Aliceinwebland (5358)
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3 years ago
| |  ROFLMAO Sparks
Bliddy brilliant! oh you're bad.. i mean BAADDD lol i love it. It's a great way to find out what people are truly like, put the cards on the table... in your case the dog! I usually shy away from extensive text but i'm glad i did and loved reading this, thanks for sharing hon.
Alice.. still grinning.
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| Aliceinwebland (5358)
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3 years ago
| | i love you to bits Sparks hunni... always have, right from the start. friendly, fun, helpful. i will endeavour to read all of your posts now... yessss even the long ones. You know if you do a search and it comes up with all those results?.. well i hate it if i have to read through them to find the right thing. if i open one that's irrelevant i sit here tch'ing and hmm'ing and getting all irked with myself lol. | | | |
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| 8. savypat (13313)
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3 years ago
| |  I totally identify with everyone in this story, except the bridge ladies, if I had been one of them I would have been rolling on the floor laughing. Thanks.
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | No wonder psychiatrists did a booming business in the 60's. All the housewives were so uptight they squeaked when they walked! LOL Thank God for the liberation of the 70's! | | | |
| Aliceinwebland (5358)
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3 years ago
| | haha savypat, i wouldv'e been gettin into the sherry while my hostess was distracted lol... shhh don't tell Sparks, she'll measure mark the bailleys bottle. | | | |
| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | Too late..............the bottle's empty! ROFL | | | |
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| 9. moondancer (4017)
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3 years ago
| |  Wow and wonderful story indeed. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Real stories about things that happened sure make the best reading. I can see your little dog doing this with the oh but prim and proper "ladies" in mortal shock. lol
I have had my share of boy dogs that did the same thing. But my what a little mischievious little girl you were, lol.
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | I settled down when I got older.....................NOT! ROFL | | | |
| moondancer (4017)
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3 years ago
| | Don't you know that you are not going to change. lol | | | |
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| leenie50 (2134)
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3 years ago
| | Absolutely!!! | | | |
| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | Oh good! Had me worried there for a second. LOL | | | |
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| 10. MaryLynn321 (1233)
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3 years ago
| |  LOL, you definitely taught Ricky well. Those ladies were mortified. LOL, oh, well. At least you found out your Mother was just like everyone else, and that your Dad was the one you knew you could have fun with. Smart Man.
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| sparkofinsanity (3868)
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3 years ago
| | I love my parents to death, and yes my Dad IS a very smart man. He used to look like Raymond Burr and I think I was a little in love with him for years! lol | | | |
| MaryLynn321 (1233)
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3 years ago
| | Love Raymond Burr. A big burly man. I think I know who helped give you your hootiness, LOL. Or helped train your thoughts. Which definitely can be a good thing, keeps one sane at times.
Have a good one.
Hugs MaryLynn | | | |
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