Can you apologize without qualifying it?

I've had the unfortunate experience of being around people who say they are sorry and don't even mean it. It's gotten to the point that I hear "I'm sorry" and it just sounds so hollow, if you know what I mean? I guess I try to behave in such a way as to not hurt people and not have to apologize - but we all mess up now and again, even unintentionally. I agree with you that you are either sorry or you're not... and there is nothing worse than a fake apology that is given just to make the other person "feel better." If I hurt someone, yes, I can just say "I'm sorry" and mean it. Maybe because of how I've been treated, I am more sensitive to the value of a sincere apology.

I'm sorry.....but you started this discussion

I know what you mean, some people find it hard to apologise without justifying it or going on the defensive. Some people just hate to admit that they are wrong.

I know people that will say sorry for their mistakes but never really mean it. I think it takes a certain character to really apologise and mean it.

In my opinion I think, sometimes actions speak louder than words and it is what one does rather than what they say. Sometimes "sorry" is just a word we use all to often, without really meaning it.

Corty-

You bring up a really good question. I know it's something my husband and I work on in our own communication, especially when we have discussions. I'm not sure why we as humans feel the need to qualify other than we seem to want to rationalize everything. In our case, we try to work in stages. We allow each other to cool down first so we don't say anything colorful when we're still in the heat of the argument. We even leave the room because that helps to break the tension and allows us to focus. We then both say we're sorry. Just "I'm sorry". Then we speak about what occured. The reason for this is not that we're qualifying it, but we're now both calm enough to speak rationally about what occured, because that is how we're going to grow as individuals and as a couple.

Namaste-Anora

well, that really depends on the situation... if i am really in the wrong position, then i will say 'sorry' without anything attached to it... but if i think that both of us are wrong, then of course i will say sorry and tell the other person that he/she is wrong as well... the point is, there is no use in blaming each other in this situation... better to try to find a solution rather than to make things worst by blaming each other and try to find each other's faults... that's what i experienced... take care and have a nice day...

I think it depends if you are really sorry or not.

Awhile back I had to apologize to a stupid coworker because she rushed to human resources before I did (I'm just not that type of person). She had said some really horrible things to me, and I finally fired back at her. Just one comment, but several weeks after I said it she decided to complain.

So anyhow, long story short I was forced to apologize. So I said I wanted an apology from her too. So she says, "I'm sorry you think I said those things." because she is trying to play innocent. So I say, "I'm sorry that you think you were offended." It had the word sorry in it though, so it counted. But after all the stuff she said to me and then her fake apology there was no way she was going to get a genuine apology.

Hi,
Yes,It needs Courage!
Sometimes when U know U r right,even at that time to say sincerely-'I'm Sorry!'
I practice,I do.
I've seen It satisfies ego of others. point of misunderstanding/contention evaporates, when U say'I'm sorry!'The door of arriving 'win-win situation' opens suddenly!
=Lahiri,Kolkata,India.

Sorry it means you apologizeng hwta we did and what does the person does for you. but if we put it in relationship. if they both love each other they can accept to say im sorry whether they are not did this fault.

If someone only says "I'm sorry" it doesn't feels convinced enough whether they were really sorry or not, they probably gonna do the same mistake again in the future;)

saying sorry is one tough thing to do specially if we think that the other person we say sorry will be ego bloated. and so that makes harder. anyways, but i don't say sorry that often. and also i am not in a relationship. but i am talking about saying sorry to other people besides your boy friend or girl friend. but i think we all need to learn how to say sorry or else don't do intentionally a mistake or anything that can hurt a person if you don't know how to say sorry truthfully or sincerely.

That depends on what it is about and what the issue and history on it is. If I truly feel I was wrong you bet I can apologize and not qualify it. But, if I feel a need to qualify it you bet I will. Communication is important and I sometimes feel I have to have the very last word! So, I guess the answer to your question would be a resounding no. But, let me qualify that..............teehee.