She is who she is because how she was raise so that excuses everything!!!  |
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 I get so festurated at my mom so is always blaming someone else for how her life turned granted things happened to her but she still had choices. She blamed me she got pregnant with me and back then when a woman got pregnant she had to leave the army so that was all my fault then when I was born I had some medical problems and my dad left cause he couldnt handle it and again that was my fault according to her so she expects everyone to take care of her because my grandma and grandpa took care of her and now she continues to expect it. She gets VA disablitiy and right now is making more than we are there had been plenty of chances in her life for her to make things different she could have gotten a job and for all the matter I was at my grandmas half the time she is the one that raised me why didnt she go back to her precoius army career, Im sorry but it's kind of hard for me to feel sorry for her she was basically never in my life and I was the one that screwed her life up because she had me she has literally said this time me time and time again yes I do have bitter feelings I guess but put yourself in my shoes and imgaine going through that in your life and hearing your mother say that to your face that you screwed her life up what would you think?
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1.  kent_help2smile (1995) | 8 months ago |  Hello Christylynn!
Explain your mom that its was HER CHOICE to get pregnant not yours! Because you
It was her choice to get a man who cannot handle problem!
It her job to take care of you now as her parent looks after her.
Tell her that IT WAS NOT YOUR CHOICE that SHE WILL BE YOUR MOM!
And then tell her IF I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE MY MOM I'D RATHER NOT CHOOSE YOU
and then explain why you hate about her.
Explain to her how you feel.
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 christylynn (1895) | 8 months ago | you know I have done exactly that I have told her how I feel and it's as if she doesnt care at all. To me being a mom isnt just about giving birth it's about caring for that child and being there for that child and she never done any of that if she was so unhappy why didnt she then let my grandparent have me and she go back into the army or become a flight attendant cause I guess she did manage to go to flight attendant school so she could have had plenty of opportunites to change things at least I might have had more respect for her this way thinking that she was off working and let me stay with my grandparents but she didnt even care to do that she just wants to feel sorry for herself and for someone else to feel sorry for her. Thank you for your comment | |
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| kent_help2smile (1995) | 8 months ago | That's good christylynn! Since now that you mom! Try not to do what your mom do to you. Because if you do that will be never ending chain. Try to give more attention to your children as your mother didn't do to you. Love your children more than you could possibly give. Pay attention to your children as your mother didn't do unto you.
Everybody get old, right? If your grandparents are gone (Sorry). No one will take care of her. That's the only time she could reminisce for all the things she'd done to you. And all the sacrifices that you have done for her and she didn't reciprocate nor appreciated.
If that day will come. And your mother say I'm Sorry. Its your decision now to accept her or not. | |
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2.  imajerseygirl (299) | 8 months ago |  I'm sorry you have to go through that mental abuse. But the only thing I have to say is that you never asked to be born, it was your mothers decision to do the deed that put you here. She is just feeling sorry for herself because no one else will. I got pregnant when I was 20, completely not ready for children but here I am enjoying every minute of my chilrens lives, cause it goes to fast. She wants to live in her resentment, don't let that hold you back in life.
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| christylynn (1895) | 8 months ago | I have 4 kids now and we are expecting our 5 and last one in about 8 weeks when I had my first one I was not ready at all but I dont regret any of it and could never imagine saying anything like that to any of my kids. I've been married for 8 wonderful years to a wonderful man this year I've started my career and it's very promising, I guess if there is anything she has taught me its the kind of parent and person not to be. Thank you for your comment. | |
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| 3. sudiptacallingu (7223) | 8 months ago |  I feel very sorry for you. Some of us are just not blessed with the type of moms we dream of. My relation with my mom is very far from perfect, its rather confusing for me most of the times and now I connect to her only on a very superficial level. While she doesn’t exactly blame me for her life, she has a lot of issues and unfulfilled expectations which she keeps on shooting at me whenever she feels like. Lets just say that I have not really enjoyed a day with my mom, chatting and talking and relaxing, going over old days, laughing over our silliness…the usual things that married daughters visiting their moms do! She has done a lot for me accepted, but the way she just rubs it in all the time and makes me feel like an ungrateful creep, I would have avoided her if she was not my mom.
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4.  Yori88 (1318) | 8 months ago |  I feel sorry for you my friend. You had a sad life story. I never thought that a mother could ever say that to her daughter. I never grew up with my mom either. My great grandmother raised me from 2 to 16 years old so I never got the chance to be close with my mom. She worked abroad with my father. But she never blamed me with her life now. She never blamed me when she got pregnant of me and gave birth when she was only 19 years old. She raised me until 2 years old and left me. But then I am not really that close with her. She may not be a good mom to me but at least she was not bad. She loved me according to her but she can't afford to send me in college. Great grandmother died when I was 16 and so I was taken by my uncle and aunt in the city. They sent me to the university and after graduating I have my own job and became totally independent. I am now married and with one son. I promise myself never ever leave my son. Even though others consider me as still young when I gave birth at age 22, I do not consider myself young though. I love my son and I love my husband. I have a nice life now but even when I had a not so good life before I never blamed anybody. Talk to your mom and express what you are feeling. Maybe she needs to know you are hurting so bad.
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| 5. caffeinedrunk (187) | 8 months ago |  It's wrong for your mother to put the blame on you. It was obviously not your fault that you were conceived, right? I mean, how could it be your fault? It's not as if you get to choose who your parents are going to be.
I have watched the TV series Merlin (with Colin Morgan as Merlin) and there was something Gwen said that struck me. It goes like this: "In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it's easier to think that you don't."
I think your mom is miserable because of some of the choices she made and the outcome of those choices and she probably can't accept that.
Now I should say that you should be more patient with your mom and try to understand her because that is the right thing to do, but honestly speaking, if I were in your place and my mom tells me those things and I'm just up to my head with her, I probably am going to burst and tell her all these things. lol! I'm a bad girl, sorry:))
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| caffeinedrunk (187) | 8 months ago | Why not try to reach out to her? If that still doesn't work, I think it would be better if you try to distance yourself from her for a while, that way both of you will avoid doing more damage and for you to get a break from all the hurtful things she has said. | |
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| 6. Barbietre (1237) | 8 months ago |  OMG are you sure we do not have the same mother? We had this discussion quite recently, she had issues with taking in my grandmother to live and my father's and her retirement choices. She whined how she had to support my gram, who by the way did the dishes, laundry, cleaning watched us while she went to work,and my
mom had coffee brought to her every morning by her bedside. She was able to go out with her freinds and have company over at a moment's notice because the house was already clean. What a hard life.  She also was pregnant with me when she married, but they were already engaged.
Anyhow, my dad was 10 years older than her, had a heart condition later on and when they retired they took the payment in some form that they both got most of it and she got none of his after he was gone. So now alone, she has her own pension and SSI. My brother lives with her and pays half the rent; she complained to me, and I said the choice was YOURS. She said well if she died my dad could not work and since she was younger she could(??????)
I told her I believe no matter what life throws at us, in the end all the choice we made were our own. I take responsibility for all of my actions, good or bad.
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