I can't figure this out!

Wow that's like lifetime movie of the week stuff lol. Sorry, don't mean to make a joke of it, just wanted to make you smile. Well, I'm sure even though she wasn't a very good mother that she still cares about you and what goes on in your life. Like you said, no matter what happens she's still your mother. Maybe she isn't able to get on the internet much or maybe after reaching out the first time she just isn't sure where to go from there.

Hard to say.... Maybe she thought of you being your birthday and all and just wanted to see how your life was going? I certainly wouldn't let her know too much further before she possibly manipulates herself into your life again. Though maybe she's changed a bit since you last spoke, I can understand your frustraition trying to figure out her motivation... keep us posyed if ya figure out if she has any negative motive for doing so.

Hi kats~ I don't know what to say. That is really strange!
Why would she bother you after all this time and then just
stop again! That is really cruel! I guess if you can't figure
it out then I think you should try to put it out of your mind.
But, I would maybe try one more time to contact her and ask
her why she did decide to contact you after all these years
and then not answer! And then I would just leave it be and
try to just chalk it up to her usual behavior and know that
you are definitely better off without her as you always have
been. I am so sorry to hear this. No mother should do this
to their child! I hope that you have a Happy Mother's Day
with your own beautiful family! At least you know that you
didn't grow up to be anything like her!

Unfortunately that is just the way some people are. My son's father is kind of the same way. He does not go 5 years at a time, but he does go months and months. He see's his son about once a year. It is ridiculous. I don't understand why people are like that at all.

I too was abused and neglected and always thought that it was something that I did wrong or if I had done something different she woul dhave loved me more.

The reality is that she does not DESERVE YOU as a daughter. You did not do anything wrong - she did. This is so cruel - to make contact and then drop you again. I am feeling just terrible for you.

If you need a mother then I will be your long distance mother. You are so wonderful and don't let anyone tell you different. The wonderful thing is that yo have not turned out like her and that you are a good mother who is doing the best you can under difficult circumstances. Be strong and know that you are loved

Well i agree what happened with you was certainly not right and very usual......we all expect to be with our mothers by our side....it does hurt when you see your biological mother who gave you birth desert you like this and make you go through all this.......
But trust me......its not all that bad.....I feel that many a times humans as we are tend to make some mistakes......and sometimes we make mistakes without realizing the gravity of the problem........but there does come a point in our life when we realize that what we did was wrong and things could have certainly been better in my life......oh god what have i done to my life......you do get these feelings.....
And also when we as kids/teenagers/youths go on wrong track.....our parents just don't leave us.......they too go through mental agony, embarrassment, rejection from society because of this behavior of ours.......but instead they come and correct us.....they show us the way......then why cant it be vice-versa.......maybe your mother needs your help......maybe she has realized her mistake......why do you think after 5 long years she remembered you......because she likes you and loves you......I feel instead of getting those million vague theories in your mind......try to forgive her and strike a conversation and see what she wants......and trust me if things go well.....more than anyone else you will be the happiest person on earth.....
the very fact that you are writing about your mom here is you want a solution......you might have not realized it while writing.......but trust me.....if you didn't care for here you would not have wrote it out here......I feel just be for her if she needs you......and god will do the rest......
Tc

Hi Kats,

I'm new here to Mylot and your discussion was one of the ones on the front page. I am very very tired right now so please forgive my ignorance at the moment lol.
You and I have something in common, selfish mothers. The difference is I am living with mine right now and losing my mind!!!

Listen I really want to share my story with you too as I think you are someone that can understand how I feel but for now since it is 11:50 p.m. here I am just going to say that I truly hope you get some answers. My guess is it being close to your birthday your mom was thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. While our mothers are selfish they are indeed our mothers and somewhere deep in their hearts that fact still remains and kicks them where it hurts from time to time if you know what I mean.

Many things as others have mentioned could be her reason for not getting back to you yet eg; no access to the internet, fear of you rejecting her, so many possibilities it's truly hard to know. Be patient although it's hard be patient and just remember that if you don't hear from her soon, you did without hearing from her for 5 years. I am sorry that she has stirred up all the confusion and old pains that you might have burried when you stopped hearing from her before.. and well it could go the other way too maybe you will hear from her and she will have her life in order.

Whomever created the saying " Time heals all wounds " obviously was never seriously wounded. Best of luck to you and happy mothers day:)

Kat, I am glad to hear that you did take the time to add her and answer her. I had a mother like this, and even after we were adults she still tried to play the control game with us.. Still all 10 of us loved her in our own way, because of influences of our Grandparents we learned what Love is for family. Regardless of what they do, they are still our family, our parent.

I just lost my mother this Feb, thing is we hadn't talked in over 4yrs because of an incident where I didn't bend to her control so she cut off all communication. Last year, I went online went to a flower sight, ordered her some flowers and in the card I wrote "Just Because I can" with love. Today, I am happy I did that because this year I would of not had that chance. At least she new from that I loved her regardless of what she did.

God Bless you for you

I heard from my biological mother once in my life when I turned 18. She actually called on the phone. I had no idea who she was and she expected me to talk to her like we were the best of buds. I don't think she liked the outcome.
When my older sister got married bio mom started having her other kids call up my sister. This is the woman who left us to starve to death and only when we were adopted did we have any chance in life. My condition was so bad at the time that the doctors recommended institutionalization. Thank god my adopted mother didn't listen!

I am sorry to hear about your relationship with your mum, thats really sad that you were treated so badly because you seem to me like a lovely person. My relationship with my own mum is not the closest of relationships she is not overly maternal so it has been hard but she never really mistreated me. It must be such a head f**k (pardon my language) for you to have just come back in your life like that and as you say its hard to keep your back turned whent its your flesh and blood. I guess all you can do is wait and see what happens next as frustrating as that is and see if she says anymore to you.