breaking news: first celebrity death from swine flu reported!  

Swine Flu Claims Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy in isolation
Dateline: A lily pad somewhere
Sad to say but American puppet icon Kermit the Frog is the first confirmed death as a result of the Swine Flu.
The Muppet veteran succombed to the disease with family members and fellow Muppets at his bedside.
"What's everybody looking at me for?" Miss Piggy was overheard to quip as Kermit drew his final breath.
Kermit the Frog has appeared in numerous movies, The Muppets Take Manhattan, The Great Muppet Caper, A Muppet's Christmas Carol, and numerous TV shows including The Muppets Variety Show and Sesame Street.
"I always warned that frog about being involved with that swine Miss Piggy," said longtime friend and Sesame Street veteran, "With butter knife, spoon or fork, that's the only way you touch pork."Most recently he and his divorced wife, Miss Piggy and their seven "FRIGS - the hybrid offspring as the result of a frog and a pig procreating," had been seen at Chuckie Cheese rekindling their romance kissing and holding hands while the children played.
Listening to the CDC warnings that H1N1 virus could not be transmitted by pig, or unprotected sex with a pig; autopsy reports have shown he was indeed a victim of Swine Flu. Kermit’s case is the first mutation of bird, pig, human, frog mutation. Results are inconclusive if Kermit was sneaking BLT sandwiches for lunch and could also not rule out tainted tomatoes. The CDC is informing people not to consume raw or undercooked frog legs. There is no known vaccination for this new strain. He was found alone in his apartment after the mailman noticed a foul odor and large stack of fan mail in front of his door.
Miss Piggy and her frigs are in isolation and treatments of Relenza and Tamiflu are being administered. They appear to be recovering. Miss Piggy was up and about telling jokes.
“Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 100? ‘Cause at 69 she gets a frog in her throat,” she said, tears streaming in grief.
Kermit had also traveled on vacation to see Miss Piggy’s relatives outside Mexico City, ignoring travel warnings from Joe Biden.
Piglet, of Winnie the Pooh fame has been keeping his distance from co-workers as well, noting that he has received a restraining order from Christopher Robin. He intends to partake in the eulogy.
Funeral services are pending.