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I just wrote this poem, what do you think about it? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 76/100. Pinkon4u (2170)   ranked 224 out of 3,562 in lover7 months ago

------I apologize if you find any misspelled words or any grammatical mistakes--------

Please have patience and read it once. It really contains feelings from deep within my heart:-( ...and it is the last poem I'm writing so please have patience and read it once.

Its specially for guys but i hope girls will like it too. Thanks.

--------------------------------------...

He was happy with what he had,
till suddenly his life changed bad,
people who showed care towards him,
betrayed with no mercy on him,
they kept betraying him without caring about how bad he was feeling,
cause they didn't had any importance towards his feelings,
life has been unfair to him,
he tries to fight back but people around him always suppressed him,
he cries in the night with tears in his eyes,
explaining the whole story who betrayed him with their lies,
he is trying to get out of that depression,
suddenly a he hears a voice from inside,
calling him from deep inside,
he replies who was that,
answer comes its me in you,
he replies i didn't get you,
answer comes I'm just born in you the evil side of you,
he replies i never wanted to be an evil,then how can i have an evil side,
answer comes it is those people who made me in you,
he cries in the dark corner moaning and shouting,
he says now I'm gonna take revenge on them who have been betraying,
he get up with lots of rage and with the fire of anger in his eyes,
suddenly he sees somebody passing by his side and suddenly flies,
he feels some glimpse of hope inside him,
and searches for that person who just flew from beside him,
he cries a lot goes down on his knees and prays to GOD,
to give him that what he felt after a long time,
he starts loosing his hope when he doesn't gets an answer from GOD for a long time,
and gets up and goes back to take revenge on them,
suddenly he sees that person flying again,
whom he feels is taking away his pain,
he runs towards the person cause he feels he'll get his good side back,
which now is enclosed in a sack,
he shouts at the person to stop,
the person suddenly stops and turns around,
he gets bewildered by looking at what he found,
cause the person he sees is not any normal,
but an angel coming on earth from heaven,
he stares at her for a long time,
he feels like having a lots of wine,
he goes mad about her,
she smiles at him with a glowing face of her,
he speaks to the angel and tells her to be there for him for ever,
she smiles at him again and doesn't replies to his request,
he again requests her to do him a favor,
to be with him in his life for ever,
she starts going back without answering him,
he starts crying and prays to GOD,
please get me that angel back oh GOD,
he closes his eyes and cries a lot,
suddenly he sees a bright light coming on earth,
and glowing everything a lot,
he opens his eyes and sees what,
the angel has become a human with the permission of GOD,
he cries a lot with tears from his eyes dropping a lot,
she comes to him and wipes his tears off,
that one touch Takes the good side out of him,
and erases the evil from him,
he hears another known, heard before voice,
he asks who are you,
answer comes i was before in you,
he asks i didn't get you,
answer comes I'm the good side of you,
he cries again a loud with happiness,
and she hugs him tight with lots of caress,
he thanks GOD for giving him atleast one person to rely on,
whom he can have trust on,
he hugs her tight as if he would never leave her,
she speaks her first words and says,
don't worry I'm here for you,
and I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU....

 
 
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User has not selected a best response.
tags:  poem, written, good, nothing of substance, reported
 
1. myLot reputation of 98/100. bodhisatya (522)   7 months ago

HI,

The poem is just great, and I like that it has a positive note in the end. That the boy gets to become good rather than falling in gfor the evil.

May I take the previlage to write back to your poem with a poem of mine? Hope you shall like it.

http://bodhisatya.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/06/my-love-for-eternity.htm


myLot reputation of 76/100. Pinkon4u (2170)   ranked 224 out of 3,562 in lover  7 months ago

ya u can but wat is this site about


myLot reputation of 98/100. bodhisatya (522)  7 months ago

Well it is not a payment site, just you can write in blogs, poems etc, whatever you you wish to write upon. Just lets you to express your creative side I guess, but no money involved.

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2. myLot reputation of 97/100. williamjisir (12902)   ranked 949 out of 3,562 in lover   7 months ago

Hello Pinkon. Thank you so much for sharing with us friends this poem written to him. I am glad that you have someone that you are happy to write poems to. It reminds me of my hobby of write poems for my ex-girlfriend decades ago. I wish your life pays you a lot for what you have done for him. xoxoxo

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3. myLot reputation of 93/100. swatig (918)   ranked 427 out of 3,562 in lover   7 months ago

The poem is just great, i just not having enough and proper words to explain how good is your mention poem, i think its on me. whatever, i like the poem much and add your poem in mine one of the blog spiritualera at blogspot, if you think is rite.
i just want to know your views also. thanks and keep smiling:) Swatig

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4. Customized (14)   ranked 2,707 out of 3,562 in lover   7 months ago

It's beautifull poem..
but i think it's to long..
but again..
two thumbs up..
^^

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