Brides-Maid or Brides-Not?.............

Good morning. I wouldn't include her in anything having to do with your wedding. It's such a big day, and the day is all about you and your groom. You don't want anything or anyone to put a damper on your union. You haven't talked to her in 5 years and you don't trust her. You know nothing of the type of person she is now, you don't know if she'll cause a scene, give you a hard time, or whether she will be gracious on your day. She knows nothing of you as a person now, she doesn't know anything about your life. People AT your wedding should be those that are a PART of your life, that you want to share this day with. People who participate in the ceremony should be those that are as close to you and your groom as people can be and people that you want to honor with being included in such an intimate and beautiful thing. Best of luck!

I would just send her an invitation. Chances are if things are the way you say, she won't accept the invitation, but send a gift instead. Although I wouldn't expect to get a gift. Of course, sending an invitation means you have to be prepared for her to come. But I definitely wouldn't ask her to stand with you. She should understand why.