Just what does it mean to 'grow old gracefully'?

Do you mean letting it be as it is? Acceptance?

That is probably a good way to put it. It was hard for me to accept early retirement and I found myself always looking at job openings. I think I have finally come to the realization that I am old and need to just lean back and relax.

Do you think that our society's values affect how people feel when they have to retire? Some societies value the aged and put them in places of honor...do we in USA do that?

In the USA you will find all kinds. Some children take care of their parents very well while other old parents are so hard to take care of that you have to put them in a nursing home. I don't understand why the children of my wife's aunt don't want to take her in. She is easy to get along with as far as we are concerned. If we had room we would take her in and maybe that is the problem. I would have liked to take my mother in but we hardly had room for our own family. Now my mother-in-law didn't want to go live with the children who were able to take her in and the ones she would probably have gone to live with didn't really have the room or the patience.

I see that all the time. When I was in school we even had to learn how to deal with the guilt most families feel when leaving their loved on in the nursing home...even after working for years in long term care and having a course in they psychology of it all...when I could no longer take care of my mother at home...I still felt it.

Then you have the flip side...those who dump them and never come back...it is devestating to see the depression and heart ache.

Yes, my wife goes to the nursing home and visits with all the residents there even if all she can get out of them is a "Hello." She might tell them how the weather is outside or maybe what is going on in town and then moves on to someone who can actually carry on a conversation. One will space out so she leaves when the woman starts doing that.

They need to be able to feel a part of the community. That is great she does that!

Do you think that a YOUNG bitter person winds up an OLD bitter person. And those who've learned JOY as a young person take that with them into old age?

A young bitter person can continue to become one in old age, if he/she cannot let go of such bitterness. I will never discount the possibility for a person to change. There is always hope. On the other hand, a joyful person can maintian such attitide way into adulthood. But we cannot say for sure, there are things that can happen that might even harden a happy heart.

That has much wisdom in it...you are so right on that. Do you think if life changing events occur to a joyful person they have more to hold them up, spiritually?

I believe so. Joyful persons have a more positive outlook in life. They generally have this vast reserve of positive energy that will keep them going.

I think the way we look at things can change, but it sure helps when you already look at things positive. I think it's more of a habit we get into...I have good days and bad days...when the bad days happen I have to work hard on staying positive. I was raised in a very negative atmosphere...I've had to LEARN to be and think positive. It's not a strong habit in me to do so....but I am trying hard to make it a habit.

I think that is why it is important when you are young to not place so much importance on being 'pretty or beautiful'. To learn that pretty is as pretty does? To cultivate a 'beautiful spirit' and not depend on outward looks.

I tell my daughter that she is pretty all the time, plus people tell her that sometimes. I get worried about that too because if the looks are gone then what happens to the child? I admire her for the confidence she has in herself but like you said beauty isn't everything. She is only 4 years old right now so hopefully she will learn the other side of life soon.

I try to tell my granddaughters that they are strong or smart as well as telling them they are pretty...I think it's about balancing the compliments.

I have learned that a person's attitude cannot be hidden by beauty products...many very physically attractive people are 'ugly' because of what's inside.

You are blessed to still have your mother's advice.

I agree...old age does sneak up on you. I am only 52...but there are days I tell the grandkids...help gramma, she's old! lol. They have made a game of it...they say, today is a granny day!

I also agree that you should never give up! Keep trying new things. I see many in the nursing home I work in, who have given up. It's sad and they usually don't last long. Those with an attitude of joy....live longer, usually.

LOL...mommy day is long behind me. But your granny day is coming! lol

I quit trying to thread needles long ago.:)

So, if I think I am twenty will I BE twenty again? NO! forget that, I am not wanting to go there again. lol I guess I am content with where I'm at.

I like that...appreciating lif is aging gracefully. Good one Cobrateacher! You are one who will be positive and graceful all the days of your life.


My hair will be white soon, I hope. But I think I will be salt and pepper like my mother. She was Irish and Italian. My dad on the other hand had snow white hair since he was 45...a few years before I was born...he was A. Indian and German. Yes, I'd love to have his color hair!

I started going gray in my late 20s, and I thought I'd color it some day, but I got to like it.

We grey early in our family too...my brother found his first white hair at 12 and I at 18.

I can't say I enjoy the aches and pains...or the other minor health problems I have..but I do enjoy my state of mind...I am much more secure and at peace than when I was young!

There is nothing you can do to avoid it...so my philosophy is to accept and try to prevent the worst of the physical changes.

The last five years has brought me health changes that are alarming. I am realistic, no matter what I DO, I will still grow old and die. What comes after that has to be my main priority. Confidence in my eternal security will help keep me from becoming bitter, for the root of bitterness is fear.

Libby posted a great link...take a look if you have time.

You make some good points. Cher can pull it off cause she has the MONEY to pull it off. Nothing against her, I am a fan.

What do you think about women of some WEIGHT who wear clothes designed for thin women...only in larger sizes. I'm thinking of the low rise jeans (with a belly hanging over them)?

Why is it that clothing manufacturers only know ONE thing to make? lol

I see a lot of the belly hanging over and even on thinner girls that for some reason have a gut. I don't think it is a very attractive look but you gotta give them credit for the confidence they must have. It really does depend on the person and how they put it all together and so much of it is the personality. I have seen some larger women that look great in the spandex or thinner type clothes....they just know how to put things together.

lol Not me.

I am just a jeans and t shirt kinda person. When I'm not in scrubs Or pj's.

ya....me too.