how much help do you get with housework?  

we both do our own laundry and if he cooks, i clean the dishes. its when he cooks for himself that he leaves the dishes for me to do. if i leave his dishes in the sink, they have been known to stay there for 2-3-4 days. he forgets that they are his dirty dishes, thinks they are mine and he wont touch them. it all falls back on me and i'm getting pretty tired of it. now if he was holding down 2 jobs, i maybe could see it but he has 1 full time job and the rest of his time is playing computer games while i'm outside doing yard work, tending to the garden, etc. he wont help with the garden but he'll sure eat it when I bring the stuff inside the house. i had to till the ground, plant the plants, water them daily, weed the garden and pick the ripe veggies. he didnt help one bit but he sure eats the heck out of whatever comes out of the garden. geez, sometimes i long for the days when i lived alone!!!!

Does sound like free maid service.

no, its sure not fair! makes me wonder what he does while you're at work. not saying that he is messing around but sitting around the house all day when not working, it seems like he'd want to do something to help you out. whats with these men anyway????? thanks for the response!

It was probably the way we were raised. My mother wouldn't let me do anything except maybe paint the house and mow the lawn. After I spilled paint down the front of the house onto the awning she wouldn't even let me do that. I could work on the cars some but I wasn't very good at that either even if my father were a mechanic.
Your roommate won't get better after you marry either so I think I would be looking elsewhere. There is a saying among men that I would think about. It goes like this, "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free through the fence?" My daughter has had 3 men ask her to marry them and she never even kissed them.

oh, i did say something to him but not about housework but about his internet addiction. he had just gotten up from his nap prior to going to work, first thing he does is get on facebook, into farm town. oh he just HAD TO SHOW ME how he made his crops all nice neat and pretty. i just looked at him and said 'are you THAT addicted that you're back on facebook AGAIN????!!!'. he immediately turned things around and told me that at least he wasnt on the net as much as i am. thats a lie! i weeded 2 large flower beds, picked the garden, started getting things together to make zucchini bread, fed the cats and cleaned the kitchen all while he was on the net. and he says i have an addiction and nothing gets done around here?!?!?!?! a chore list is a darn good idea. i'll bet you a dollar that he wont do a thing. he'll think its for me! maybe i should make a list of things like 'sweep floor (you walk on it), do dishes (you use them), clean the bathroom (you use it)', etc and see how furious he gets! film at 10 on that one..........

It sounds to me like you did more than your share. Good luck with getting him to even slightly admit he is in the wrong.

you're in the same situation i am then, you dont like a mess like i dont like a mess. when i lived alone, i had my house looking extremely clean, no clutter, etc. i kept it clean too so that the only thing i had to do was laundry, dust and make the bed. i always picked up after myself and kept up with my own chores. his apartment when he lived alone was clean too. its just when he moved in that all hell broke loose and he stopped doing things. and what really makes me furious is, on his days off, 9 times out of 10 he'll leave and go do something with his best friend, like go to the casino. he says his days off are his time to unwind as he works at a casino himself. my God, if you work at a casino the last place i would think he would want to be is back into another one! unwinding to me would be leisurely (sp?) weeding a garden or flower bed or helping clean a house so that its clean for the rest of the week so that we both could relax knowing that everything that needed to be done was done and not waiting to happen. you're right, people usually dont change but if i was living in someone's house i'd make sure that i did help around the house just to pull my weight. good luck to you too!

Yes I would be doing the same thing if I was in someones house. Like you said pulling my own weight. If your boyfriend use to keep his apartment clean then you need to ask what happen that he can't help out with this apartment. Its not like he was a slob and usually a slob is hard to change. Since you are so upset about this you really need to tell him he needs to pull his own weight. After all its great when everything is clean and you can both relax and enjoy your time together. As for going to a casino when he works in one all week I find that a little crazy. You would think he would want to be as far away from a casino as possible. I hope things work out for you. Good luck and have a great weekend.

you're not too lazy if you help clean the house, dishes, etc. if your girlfriend cooks, i guess its only fair that you do the dishes. you may think you're a lazy man but to me, you'd be a prince by helping out! (do you have a brother who is single and like you? LOL). oh, he loves his computer games, no doubt about that! if things dont turn around, he'll be the victim playing my game of 2-4-6. 2 doctors 4 hours to take my size 6 shoe out of his butt!

oh i remember my days of having an apartment. it was so much smaller than my house and so much easier to keep clean! ahh, good friends always insist on helping with the dishes. i know i always do when visiting someone! and a little extra cleaning before friends come visit, takes no time at all. if you ever have someone move in with you though, just make sure you set some ground rules. i didn't and that was my mistake. his apartment was always clean so i thought that it would be something that he would automatically do once he moved in here. nope. didnt happen.

you sound like an excellent daughter who cares deeply for her parents enough to help do the household chores! bravo!!! do what you can for them while they are still 'here'. i lost my parents years ago and wish i would have done more for them while they were still alive. doing what you're doing for your parents is a good way to repay them for bringing you into this world and raising you. thanks for the response!

same here. he will take out the trash but i too have to have it bagged up and waiting for him which again makes me feel like i do everything around here. you are so right when you say that a woman has more of a purpose than chores!!!!!!!! my boyfriend is working full time and i was forced retired when my job moved to india. i guess since i'm home all day, i should have nothing better to do than clean which is why i'm looking for a job. it will get me out of the house and away from the frustration of watching him sit on his butt on the computer while i'm busting my butt to do things........ arghhhh!

you would think but even when i was working full time, i had to do everything. we both take care of our own cars and yard work. luckily i never had kids, i'd probably feel like a single mother! its not fair........

nope, it shouldnt be a case of who puts forth the majority of the money. everything should be split 50-50 in my opinion, bills, chores, yard work, etc. in your case, i guess your boyfriend doesnt realize how much work there is in what you're doing with babysitting, cleaning house, running errands for his son, etc. what i would give to be able to switch places with some of these lazy-azz men so that they could see what all happens during the day hours and how much effort goes into making sure everything gets done. if housework was a paid profession, i'd be willing to bet it would be a high paying job! these men just dont realize it or 'get it'.