Having your dead spouses baby?

Hmmm..that is an interesting question. I suppose a lot of it would have to do with my husbands wishes. If he were really avid about having children, and i wanted children as well, it would be a way to crry on his wishes. Single moms raise very happy, well adjusted children all the time, so i on't think the fact that she would be doing it alone should really be any issue. I guess i look at it this way, if he left a sample of his sperm behind, and left it in her care once he had passed, then go for it. At least with this child, it isn't an un-expected or unwanted pregnancy.

As for whether i would do it, well, with out actually bieng in that situation i don't know. If my husband and i had had our hearts set on having children, and i was in a secure enough place in life to know i could raise the child well, i would probably say i'd have no problem with it.

I think it's wonderful! They loved each other so much and it's obvious she's still in love with him. I wouldn't do it myself, I don't think, but it sounds as if she's financially secure and she's a good mother. I hope she finds some comfort from completing their family.

"He said that I could use the sperm once James was dead," says Lisa.--what a cold-hearted jerk! While he may have phrased it differently, that's what she heard. I quote this so that we can all be aware that people who are stressed sometimes hear what we mean, not what we say. So we should be careful not to add to their sorrow.

If the home is a loving, nurturing one I don't think it's an act of intolerable cruelty for a woman to knowingly get pregnant with no perspective father-figure for the child. How is a widow using her husband's seed (that word in that context makes me feel kind of icky but I'm not sure if the other word would get my post bounced back to me) to impregnate herself any different from a single woman who has just given up on romance and decides to have a baby asexually...if it's good enough for billions of single celled organisms... LOL

No, really, I think it's just as hard on the single mother to make that conscious decision to have a baby without a partner to help her raise it. She knows that it's going to mean long hours of working, then just as many long hours raising the kid. She knows that she won't have any backup when it comes to discipline; that she will always be the bad guy, Dad won't be there to take the blame for the occasional no answers. She knows that having a child is going to make it harder for her to find a partner. But if she knows all of that and still wants to have the baby, who's to tell her not to?

We have kids already and though I would always want a piece of my hubby around I feel I already do. That said we didn't already have I might feel diffrent. Of coarse there are always the issues of being a single parents, but then the need to have tangible proof of our love so that it doesn't become just a memory of the past would be a large draw. I think I am 50/50 right now but will mull it over for a day or so...

Had I not had my two children before my husband was gone, I think I would have done this if possible. With my two children I see pieces of my husband every single day.

Having said that, I and my two siblings were raised by our mother, our father having died when we were all still pretty young. I think she did an excellent job of raising us on her own. We are all respectable adults now. Yes, it probably would have been easier to have two parents throughout our childhood, but I really don't think our lives would have turned out too much differently.

Of course the ideal situation would be for both parents to be together and raising the child. I think it all depends on the single parent. So many kids are much better off being raised by one parent rather than 2 in the case of many dysfunctional homes. This woman is already a single mom and seems to have thought it through. To be honest....this situation is better, i think, than some of the single parent situations that I have seen where divorce is involved and the parents are bitter or worse....the teenager that is not ready to become a parent. I wish this family the best.

Its kind of weird . If she really loved him, then that can make a person do crazy things.Maybe she wanted to leave an impression of him on this earth.. There are some which only you will understand .. This is one of them

I guess if you have frozen sperm from the deceased man anything is possible these days. On the one hand, I can understand wanting something from someone you loved to live on. But, on the other hand, it makes going forward from that point a bit harder, don't you think? When you meet someone new not only are you a widow, but you also have a child that you conceived after your spouse had died. It's a bit much for me to wrap my head around.

I'm surprised they were even concerned with trying to have a second child once they were working on his cancer. I couldn't do it, and wouldn't do it. She already had one kid, so it wasn't like her husband wasn't already living on. It kind of seems like SHE didn't want to move on and by doing this she was continuing to be connected to her husband. Kind of weird if you ask me, and a lot of time and expense that i wouldn't go through.

hi 3bunnies

my discussion was similar to yours .. this 2 month pregnant woman actually wedded her dead fiancee ... it was sad that he died on the before the day they were to be married .. I guess, if you love your partner so much, it is accepable by general public on having the baby but i wonder if the documents will have his names

http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2108146.aspx

cheers