What is the purpose of helping somebody?

No harm in asking. Worst thing that could happen is she says no...

Nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself if you help somebody. But shouldn't the primary motivation be that they need and want the help?

Yes though, if they need the help.

So in that order? 1) they need help? 2) it makes you happy?

That's right, because they need help.

Now what about somebody who says, "you should let me help you because it makes me feel good?"

But Mike, the natural law says whose who can not withstand the force of the nature on it must perish. Only the ablest would survive. Do not you agree.

So we should never help a child? Nope, not buying that...

Survival of the fittest is cool sometimes but what about a premature baby.
Should that be totally left to nature to decide life and death?
No way if is ever my kid

People who say let me help you because it makes me feel good are helping themselves and the person being helped is secondary in their thoughts in my opinion.

snap

Mike I agree with you on both points!

Again @mike and dawn, I had mentioned there one word and that was 'self reliant. Until the baby is grown up the parental or whatsoever is a must. I hope you got it.

I get it...see comment below

got it now...

Thanks dawn...

Hm, I'm not quite sure I understood all that...

Most species still help its young at the very least.

true...

My point was there is no necessity of helping others. This rather spoils his/her ability. Since there is no question of helping there is no purpose at all. If there is any purpose this is just a habit.

In nature, maybe, but not in a civilized society.

Are we civilized at all?

I see what you are getting at and agree in a way...helping others may be weakening them in a way.
Eg...a disabled person may be capable of some task but a carer does it for them wich disempowers them and isn't good in the long run.
Is that along the lines of what you were thinking?

You got it mike. If we speak of the nature it is never partial to its creatures. Animals or say the birds are empowered by nature to go ahead as they should or are supposed to. This is we men who have been going against the nature and now are in a maze.

And yes your example of the disable person is very true.

Maybe we could say we would like to help others to help themselves

Yes that should be the right campaign. Lets start.

Rajib, we are not talking just about beggars here.Helping the needy may be your friends & relatives, whom you know.The question is not helping financially but in some other ways too.I think its not wrong to help a person in need.What are you going to lose?

Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish...

Krupesh, just tel me how would your son/daughter fare in the exam if you help them all the while at home? It is not my loss but they are not gainer either.

Dawn, you are correct in a way....

@Dawn
That is exactly what we mean

Rajib - you cant take your child's exam for them, but you can certainly help prepare them for it...

Rajib, helping a child in its exam is entirely different from helping a person who is needy.Suppose if one of your friends is very sick & hospitalised.You have money but he doesn't have to meet the expenditure.Would you not help? If its your brothers or sisters would you not help?

At this moment surely I would help for there is a tag behind our back that human beings are the superior of all. (This is a self imposed adjective anyway.) You have narrowed the whole concept here. In this narrow sense I would help my friend or relative or whoever need help. What mike and I reached was a broader view of help.

Fascinating answers and much different than I was originally thinking when I wrote the discussion. But that's what keeps it interesting around here.

Off in a min but what krajibg is saying is that if we give too much help to kids they won't learn for themselves.
Helping them learn is obviously fine but doing work for them is not helping them in an exam when they have only themselves to rely on.
I know what you all mean and you all are saying the same thing but in a different way.
Nite

Yes dawn these threads make the discussion more interesting.

Mike needs "help" to get to bed...

Generally whom do you label as a needy person? If the person is in real need right? If the person cant help himself out right?You wont help just like that if he is not in need of it ..so its obvious that if you have the heart, you defenitely will help the needy person wothout expecting any favours.

Krupesh, look all the tiles you have put up are valid but my point was different in the sense the concept of help is we created. If thee would not be the concept only the fittest one would survive. And the less we feel we need help the more solid would be the person. Wont you agree?

Because they need help? Or because it makes us feel good to help?

hi dawnald,

thanks for the comment on my response,there is lot of satisfaction joy and joy in giving not in getting,have a nice day

But why do you care? Because they need the help? Or because helping makes you feel good? Or for some other reason?

If they are really in need and it's in my power to help, I agree...

That is what I think too. But what do you think if a person says, "you should let me help you because it makes me feel good?"

Well, I'd want them to feel good, but I wouldn't be all that thrilled for myself.

I'm a very independent person anyway, and much prefer to do things myself. In the event that I NEEDED help, I'd like to think the giver was helping out of love and respect for me, rather than for any "goodie-goodie" motive or to feel good themselves or because of some obligation.

Which is kind of why I started the discussion. I am pondering the idea that perhaps I don't have an obligation to feel grateful for help that isn't wanted.

Usually when someone helps I can't help thinking that I could have done it faster and better myself - but if it is genuinely a case of wanting to help, I am thankful. Maybe I am more thankful for a caring friend than I am for the help given?

Just thought - Later this morning I'll be asking hubby to punch a few holes in some cards for me. He'll do it because he loves to help, and I'll be thankful.

ah well that's nice help...

Because they need the help, right?