Do You Apologize To Keep The Peace?

Oh wolfie, you're not still fuming over apologising to me for bringing the strawberry ice cream round the other night are you after I'd called you a stingey ice cream hogger. Well I refuse to apologise, I was in the right, you were flaunting your ice cream and thus to blame.

I only apologise when I am in the wrong. No I lie, I apologised to the dentist the other day that my tooth was so difficult to get out and she was in there for nearly two hours, but that was a dentist wielding a hammer. I too like the peace but don't get confrontational in the first place.

I never apologise when I've done nothing wrong. When I was at school, there was a stuck up teacher who really had it in for me, and used to be nasty to me until she provoked me into making a smart comment. On one occasion, I had a note to say I couldn't do P.E. because I had a back problem. She allowed me to sit out the lesson - then made me stay behind after class to put away all the heavy gym equipment! She knew I was angry, but I did it without saying a word, at first. She kept on and on, telling me to say what I was thinking about her... so eventually, I did. For that, I got 3 weeks detention washing paint and glue pots in the art department. Then I was told by my form tutor, I was supposed to write a letter of apology! I refused, and when asked why, I told her "because I'm not sorry, and I'm not a liar." I got more detentions for that, but the jumped up cow never got her apology...

No I do it too. Somebody called me a "smoother". ie Somebody who smooths things over. I don't deal well with conflict, I avoid conflict, I smooth it over. And then later I say to myself, "why did you do that?"

Wow someone else out there that finds themselves doing this. I mostly do it in my marriage and yes it is very much just to keep peace. My husband is bipolar and no matter what happens its never his fault so i find myself appologizing just so it will be peaceful home without all the fighting for the kids. I know this isnt a healthy way to live every day but dont really have a choice in the matter.

I don't think you're the only one to do this! I won't apologise for things that aren't my fault although I think I probably have done in the past. Actually, I did apologise to the man who crashed into me a couple of weeks ago. I think it was just automatic and partly because I didn't really notice until afterwards that it actually wasn't my fault.
I have been in similar situations to the one with you and your parents whereas someone else does something wrong and the person in the middle gets you to apologise as if they've decided it's your fault.
I don't see now why I should apologise for something that's not my fault and I won't do usually but sometimes it's the only way to keep the peace especially if the other person is stubborn. It doesn't make you weak though but some people might be more likely to wait for you to do the apologising because they think you are the weaker one.

No I don't usually apologize when its not my fault at all.But if its about protecting my loved one for a fault committed by them,then to save them from any harm I would apologize!! So,sometimes I do apologize to keep the peace!

I have apologized many times in my life to keep the peace. I feel that peace is one of the most important things in my life. I have health problems and I do not need the stress. As you grow older you realize that most arguments that we get into are not a all important. Why not give in it just might help you to live longer. Not only that you want remember within a few months what the conflict was all about.

I trained myself to apologize, many times, when it wasn't my fault. Just as I trained myself to admit I was wrong when I was really right. If I didn't have sufficient proof for this person, by HIS standards, then it wouldn't matter anyway, so why bother. Basically it wasn't worth the argument that would ensue, since he is never wrong...so...it only caused me a tied up stomach and angst. I'm Pavlov's dog! LOL!

I used to but not any more, well, sometimes but said in such as way as not to be an apology more of a sneer.
Mr Croc has learned to apologise just for being, mainly when all three girls are here. He knows we love him though so mainly stays out of the room saying he can't cope with all four of his females.
I used to apologise to keep the peace if anything had upset my parents but that's all.

There is alot to be said for being a bigger person and being a peace maker too. There are alot of worse things that we have to experience and certainly, that is a peace move but I am sorry that you did not owe it. I have been in a situation where I did not understand why I was expected too also.