Empty Nest

Marriage is something you have to work at each and everyday. Communication is the most important thing. When kids come into the pictures you still need to set time for each other. Its can't be 100% kids for 18 years because then when you get to empty nest it won't be what its suppose to be. I think a date a week or every two weeks to catch up on each other is very important for the relationship to thrive.
Be on the same page when it comes to disciplining the kids and no secrets except for the surprise birthday parties.

When my children grew up I never had the empty nest feeling. Of course, I must say that it took a while for them to be completly independent in the money sense. It´s hard to start and we helped all we could.
We always had those diners where everyone tells how was his or her day. When we got married, we decided we would never have a TV in the dining room or the living room. Comunication is important. And so is tolerance and patience. There are days when we wake up mean and witch like. To accept that from the other is important.
I was married for almost 40 years, till death did us apart, as the saying says. I could tell my hubby when he was dying that he was the best thing that had happened to my life.
I´ve been a widow for 9 years and he´s still with me.
Take care

I long for the empty nest. I pray for the empty nest. They keep flying back home.
This last time. They both got told no more. I am not saving you anymore.
When you leave this time it is fly or fail. I had a few months of beautiful empty nest and it keeps getting taken away. One has fragile roots in Seatle now.
and the other is getting paperwork togehter to register in the Army.

You life and needs and partner finaly become the sum and total of your life.
It is an exciting time. To age gracefully together and to have the years behing you. So you can have a beautiful life and time. Soon. Soon. Soon.

Desert Hawk

Divorce is a growing trend more and more people just ignore problems and go straight for the easy way out. I remember in elementary school there were about 2 of us out of 40 classmates whos parents were still together. My parents are still together today. I see my parents fight sometimes and wonder if they will go their own ways or stay together (there not legally married but common law for 27 years). They ve had 4 kids which 3 of us are somewhat moved out LOL. My older brother has his own place and my older sister and I are in uni and college - and live away from home but visit every weekend to work. My younger brother is at that teenage years and spends most of his time in his room or at a friends house. I know when both my sister and I moved out my parents didnt really know what to do. My mom would alway ask us if we needed clothes washed or she would clean my room or car when I was home working. She will randomly make us big meals because she misses making big supper for us. But we left for college 3 years ago and shes gotten use to it and has more time to relax. Also, they have more time to spend together. They will come home from work and spent the night watching TV or talking without any kids. It just take dedication and work to keep something going after the kids are gone.

When I graduated from college at age 21 and the following year my brothers will also graduate, my parents started talking about empty nest. They talked about being prepared of life after there will be only two of them.
Anyways, there was never an empty nest because I still lived at home even after I worked to help with the household in anyway. Plus there were lots of us. We have cousins, working students, and finally their first grandson whom the mother left and never came back.
My brothers worked far from home and I was left behind. But there were instances when I worked far and they had their empty nest for a while and my mom requested if I can work nearby and so with my brothers. My mom got sick and I worked just very near home. My parents were married for 40 years before she passes away.
Now I still stay at home with my dad and cousins and nephew. And I work near and far depending on my sense of adventure. And life still goes on.

I get horrible empty nest when my kids leave...
my one kid's in the navy so he comes and goes quite a bit really, another one has moved away and then returned when the company he was working for went under.

I don't think it has much to do with my husband's and mine relationship as much as it has to do with the quiet!! after decades of having kids running in and out yelling at each other and me, tv's on, ect....well, it's really, really quiet when they are not here. it leaves a feeling that there's just something missing....someone.

i know a couple that have been married for a few years (3) and now they are thinking of getting a divorce. they are only like 22 which goes to show that you shouldnt get married too early either.
there is a Bible verse that says 'train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it' which means to me, if we teach our girls what God knows is right and we think is right, we should be ok.

It is really a proble in modern society.But how we can do?Life is not easy to understand.And most of people don't know how to regard things until it is too late.I know yours feeling.It's not a good one.But I don't think we should be negative.Everyone has his road to walk.And what we can do is to full ourselves and give our best wishes to the world.Just my opinion.

hi christylynn, thanks for this uplifting post. Its great to hear your marriage is that strong and I hope mylot works long enough for the next 40 years or so to follow up on your wonderful big family and to be updated about your kids, the careers they choose one day, when they then get married and what they maybe say themselves about their ideas and goals of marriage.
Hope you continue to be as happy as you are now.