Goodbye Mom...I'll Miss You  |
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 Well, the battle is over.
As many of you know from emails I sent and from a post on facebook (also a discussion someone else posted here) my Mother lost her battle with cancer Friday October 2nd at 11:30 am.
I received a call just as I was getting ready to go to work that I needed to get to Mom's house NOW. I arrived five minutes later, and as I entered the house, the first words I heard were "I can't find a pulse". I took my Mother's hand, and said "I love you" as her body fought for its last breath...and then it was over.
Four of the seven of us kids were there...the others were on their way from different towns, and we decided to wait to call the hearse until the others arrived so they could say their goodbyes...
That is the last I will see of my Mother in this life. And to those who say I'll see her in Heaven; no, I won't.
My Mother did not believe in God; she was never baptised, never saved. So by all the Christian laws, she will spend eternity in Hell. And I will gladly, someday, be by her side there, if such a place exists.
But I think she will be somewhere other than Heaven or Hell; where that is, I don't know, and I won't know until I die and join her.
But someday, I will surely see her again.
Per her wishes, there will be no funeral or visitation; her request is to be cremated and her ashes scattered in the Mississippi River so she can take one last trip to New Orleans.
Our family will have a memorial celebration of her life sometime next week for friends to come and remember the woman that touched so many lives in our small town over the years. It will be a time of healing for us, and rememberance of a woman who was physically small, but in reality was much larger than life.
I want to thank all of you that sent emails, and that posted on facebook and on the discussion by SparkofInsanity for all your words of comfort during this time. I have many friends here, and I am grateful to all of you. Also, I want to thank all that responded to my previous discussions about my Mom's battle. I know I didn't comment back to most of you; but I was trying to deal with it, and I couldn't find words to say to you without losing the rigid self-control I had imposed upon myself to get through this time.
To all others that have lost loved ones from cancer; I now understand your pain.
I hope that someday a cure might be found, that others do not have to suffer as my Mom did.
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1.  rosepedal64 (1329) | 3 months ago |  Hi Lamb
I first want to say..Im sorry about your lose. But is that really the right think to say. I have lost both of my parents. My dad I lost him to cancer as well. I knew that it was the best for him. He longer had to deal with the pain. My mother was a sudden death. She choked to death. It has been years but it still is painful from time to time.
But lamb remember one thing. She was proud of you. She got to see you turn your life around and be happy.
Im sending you a cyber hug.....
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| 2. Wizzywig (2733) | 3 months ago |  I don't have any great words of wisdom to offer but my wishes for your peace, strength and comfort are sincere. I am glad that you were able to be with her in her final moments, I found comfort in that when my father lost his fight - and, of course, in the memories and the knowledge that he loved me. Take care of yourself.
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| 3. thea09 (4259) | 3 months ago |  Lamby, too personal for here so I've pm'd you. Hugs.
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 jb78000 (1694) | 3 months ago |  i did that too.
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4.  dumblnddzzy (10256) | 3 months ago |  Oh Mikey, i am so, so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what it is gonna be like when my mama goes. My heart goes out to you & your family. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that she is no longer in the pain she was in. She's in her happy place now, where ever that may be.I know she was so proud of you being her son.Cancer is such a sad disease to have, the pain is unbearable. I also lost my Grandfather to cancer many year's ago, but it still feels like yesterday. I don't know if the pain will ever go away.. I wish you well mikey, Love you & BIG HUGS, Lori
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| 5. plunketear (1224) | 3 months ago |  Pretty hard to improve upon these words above:
"But lamb remember one thing. She was proud of you. She got to see you turn your life around and be happy.
Im sending you a cyber hug....."
ya...pretty much speechless beyond that (or at least have already told you my peace about stuff so won't repeat)
Peace Mike
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6.  AnnieOakley1 (1641) | 3 months ago |  I do know EXACTLY how you feel. My mom passed from Cancer on July 22nd of this year. It has been a difficult year for me. She fought valiantly. The Dr's gave her 6 mos, 2 yrs ago. Told her she wouldn't make it to this past Christmas, but she made it to there and 6 mos further. Although it was a horrible way to die, and I do not wish it on anyone, EVER.
My regards.
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| 7. shewolf52002 (622) | 3 months ago |  You have my deepest sympathy, my mother also died from cancer just a little over a month ago. She was 54 years old and died within 5 mos of her diagnosis. There is little that can be said beyond I truly understand.
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| 8. Gorjess (1066) | 3 months ago |  I'm sorry to hear this, it sounds like she was surrounded by a lot of people who cared for her while she died so I hope this help you. Now you can start to cope with it without having to constantly dread how things will happen. I hope the gathering goes well and I'm sure many people will miss her, it sounds like she touched a lot of people.
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| 10. purplealabaster (758) | 3 months ago |  "I am sorry" doesn't even begin to adequately describe how I feel. Death SUCKS! Cancer SUCKS! Watching a loved one die from cancer REALLY SUCKS!
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