Family, outside the womb

I do realize every family has its own problem, and we all have to face different situation. In the place I come from, family is the most important unit in one's life. Without family, life is no longer valuable to us. So, no matter how difficult it is, try to be with your family, and compromise it.

It's rough being the oldest...I am in the same situation. I have one younger brother and two younger sisters and it always seemed that our parents favored the middle sister because she had been very sick as a newborn. Your parents may seem to favor your middle brother because he's the one who gave them grandchildren. As a grandmother myself I can tell you that grandkids are very different from your own kids. You're the good guy, you get to spend quality time with them and then send them back to their parents. As a parent I can also tell you that your parents most likely love all three of their boys equally. I raised four children and I could not possibly pick one who I loved more than another.

We all used to be very close when we were younger until our Mother passed away. She was the glue that held the family together back then. It just seemed like after she died, we all saw less and less of each other. Then my oldest sister died and my only brother died. Now there are only three of us left (two sisters and myself). I am still very close to one of my sisters who is four years older than me. We live in different states now but we talk every day and see each other at least six times a year (we are only 6 hours away from each other). Our younger sister however barely talks to either of us. She just never seems to have time for us. I have tried to keep us all closely bound over the years but to no avail when it comes to our younger sister. She fights my attempts every step of the way and I still can not figure out why. Oh well, it is what it is and all I can do is just continue to try with her.

I married the youngest of three brothers and intelligently ended that struggle after five years! LOL
I was adopted along with my twin brother. I have an older sister (five years older), who is the only biological one to my parents. I have a brother two years younger than myself, also adopted, but no blood relation.
So here's how our family stacked up:
Older sister was always the one tied to the apron strings the tightest.
Twin brother was the oldest son and carries on the family name.
Younger brother is the favored and much indulged 'baby' of the family.
Did I leave anyone out?
Oh yeah...........me, the proverbial middle child.
To make a long story short, my parents have burial plots in the family graveyard in Ontario. A few years ago the entire clan gathered there to bury my Aunt's urn in her plot. In looking around at the markers on the designated plots, I found one for each member of my immediate family.
Was anyone missing a marker?
Oh yeah............ME!
Was my Dad some embarrassed!

I was the baby of five children born to my parents, but we were never a family. My father left when I was baby. Because my mother worked, my oldest sister looked after me - at a time when she would rather have been out with boyfriends. Consequently she abused me mentally and physically and I still bear the physical scars today.

We hardly lived together as a family and when I was eleven my mother, my third "father" (who, I am sure, was one of the most evil men who ever lived) and my next oldest sister left England for Australia. My sister soon married, so I guess I lived most of my life as an only child. I was abused in every way by my oldest sister and three "fathers" and was told every day of my life until I was 22 that I was totally evil; that no one would ever want me, so I might as well do the world a favour and kill myself.

I think all five of us lived more like only children. I "met" my brother (child number 3) 33 years after leaving England and it was just as if we'd been together all our lives. We were immediately a very close brother and sister. My oldest brother was a stranger to me, and all I felt for my oldest sister was a heap of pity. The sister who came out to Australia with us has become very close in more recent years. As far as treatment by our parents goes, I'd say there was no difference. We were all ignored and unwanted. I think I was the only one abused, but that is because all the others got out. Being the youngest and too young to leave, I copped it.

I really must add that my life changed dramatically and completely when I was 22. I have now been very happily married for almost 50 years. Our 5 sons are happily married and have very happy families. As far as I can tell, there is no difference in any of them. They were all treated alike and they are all the best of friends.

I am the oldest of 2 girls. We are seven years apart, so we really had different wants and needs as we grew up. My beef is that my parents were extra strict with me, but much looser with my sister. Often I thought that wasn't fair. I felt like I was kept in this tight box, and she was the one who got to use her wings. We fought a lot when we were kids!

As adults, we are much closer than we were as kids - the generation gap doesn't seem as great. But, we are still very different . . . I am the one who got married and had kid(s) after a career . . . she still uses her wings to fly from job to job, or relationship to relationship.

My parents have since then admitted that they were perhaps a bit too strict with me . . . but I don't hold a grudge against them (now). Being a parent made me realize that all parents do what they think is best at the time - even they can make mistakes. Even though I used to think they favored my younger sister, now I see that they just treat us equally - but in different ways. I don't know what my sister thinks though - hee hee!

Hi ya geminikid

Well I think I would have to say that my mum definatly favours me and my kids to my brothers and their families. Both of my brothers are older than me, married and have children. I am more needy than them I think as I am on my own with 3 kids but I am also more accomodating towards my mum. She can come by and see us anytime she wants and is made to feel very welcome. With my eldest brother he is a bit more distant with my mum, he is blunt and his wife is not always as friendly as she appears, they have twin boys. My other brother lives in Kuwait and has one son so she doesn't get to see them as often as we all would like. He is in the army so he is a bit stiff if you know what I mean, he says things as he sees them but he is a bit more diplomatic than my older brother and not so blunt. My eldest brother has been very hurtful to me in the past by saying some things and I have never got over that so our relationship is still quite strained. My dad says that he is impartial but I know he leans towards my eldest brother mostly as he gets on well with my brother's wife which is fine with me I don't have a problem with that. Boy is my life full of woe right now hahaha

I know how you feel my brother use to get all the attenion in my family he is one year older then me now there are five of us 3 boys 2 girls the brother that got everything was also a middle child an I rember there was a comercial on t.v. about the florida lotto an it was I bought my mom a nice jacket my brother got her a fur I got her a lotto ticket she it was a 100.00 winner so my brother got her a ticket an it was a 1,000,00 winner well dont laugh my mom wanted a grandchild my hubby an I were going to have a baby guess what my brother no word of a lie had twin boys they were supose to be born in the end of feb an I was due xmas well my brother kept bring up that lotto comercial an say he would out due me I was like whatever you will have twins but my daughter will be born first ok ready his boys were born jan 22 an my daughter jan 28 so we joke about it all the time

I am an only child. I wasn't babied although my mother was very strict and drown me crazy most of my teen years. When I married she was in my business until I finally put my foot down. I did have a step brother for seven years when my mother re-married. He was a real jerk and would hit me and be mean when the folks were gone. My step dad played horn in a band and so mom and him went out on the week ends quite often. I can recall alot of dark bruises on my arms and being locked out of the house and such. Very glad when we moved back to where I live now.

Hi Gemini, I come from a family of six kids, in which I am the only girl. Don't start with the spoiled jokes, I surely was not - LOL. In fact, besides always having my own room and never wearing hand-me-downs, I was just one the "guys" when we were younger.

I played sports and with trucks and stuff all of my earlier years, just so I would have playmates. None of the bro's were into dolls or girl stuff, so majority always ruled.

We are all pretty close, even now. We may bicker and quarrel, but just let an outsider say something against any one of us and - look out!

Family dynamics can be fascinating at times, can't it?